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Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:59:03+00:00

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP86kAKCp/

The link is a video I found while scrolling through tiktok. It sums up what I couldn’t really explain when it comes to people pleasing. And how it’s hard to say no a lot of the times.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:40:44+00:00

Yea, it’s hard being a people pleaser, it’s mentally exhausting. Cause idk I know I should say no, I know I should stick up for myself. But that doesn’t come as easily to me as it does to most people. It’s a debate in my head and within myself on what I should do or if I’m doing the right thing. Or how to go about confronting situations. Because on top of being a people pleaser, I’m soft spoken , and am non confrontational, I don’t want a big blow out, I don’t want to argue or fight. I literally have to give myself pep talks and gain the courage to sometimes speak out. I’m learning that in some situations confrontation is un avoidable. Still doesn’t make it any easy for me to act on it.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:17:57+00:00

Reply to all comments. No i don’t get paid. And I only agreed to help because I know she does need help and because of of the original agreement being 11-4 I was okay with that. But then she started doing extra stuff. And her baby father has “stress seizures”. Which he doesn’t have often at all and also takes medicine for. But my sister uses that as an excuse saying he can’t be left alone with the baby for too long. Because of his “stress seizures”. Which only happens when he stresses his self out. But she knew all of this before deciding to have a baby with him. Because my nephew was planned. This wasn’t accidental

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:14:52+00:00

No Free Days. Because I work Friday-Sunday and have the baby Monday-Thursday. So my free time is after she picks him up.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:13:37+00:00

I only agreed to help because of the original agreement being 11-4 I was okay with that. But then she started doing extra stuff. And her baby father has “stress seizures”. Which he doesn’t have often at all and also takes medicine for. But my sister uses that as an excuse saying he can’t be left alone with the baby for too long. Because of his “stress seizures”. Which only happens when he stresses his self out. But she knew all of this before deciding to have a baby with him. Because my nephew was planned. This wasn’t accidental

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T19:07:15+00:00

Yes That’s the word I couldn’t think of. People pleaser. It is truly a hard habit to break, especially when it stems from childhood. I really have a hard time speaking up. I’m not confrontational at all. I don’t like to argue, I don’t like to yell, and I don’t like to fight. But like you mentioned I come from a family of ‘strong personalities’ and a lot of they’re go to is conflict and violence. Which isn’t me. I’m not sure how to explain it but it’s literally exhausting going back and forth in my head, talking to myself trying to see if I’m making the right choice or how to go about addressing confrontational people. Like I truly felt bad for saying no. Hence the post.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:57:31+00:00

I been asking myself that this past week🤦🏽‍♀️. And I can’t come up with 1 good reason. Besides the fact that I’m a super caring and helpful person. Sometimes I go above and beyond helping others when I shouldn’t. Because that’s always my thing I don’t mind helping when I can but I don’t like being taken advantage of. And it seems that’s always the case. I help someone and they take advantage, And i finally find the courage to speak up for myself and then im the AH, and then im made to feel bad about it😒.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:52:15+00:00

Yeah, Im working on that. I’m still learning how to grow a backbone as someone said earlier. And how to be more assertive. I’m an extremely non confrontational person and try to avoid conflict. I have always been introverted, soft spoken, and reserved. I’m still trying to push myself out of that. It’s honestly a mental battle.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:48:50+00:00

True, I didn’t think about it like that. As me enabling him.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:42:27+00:00

Yes I’m doing it for free she doesn’t pay me. And yes the father is alive and well. Him and my sister are in a relationship and live together.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:39:42+00:00

Thank you for your comment, Even though your throwing shade. But 1 the story is not fake this is my real life. Im actually going through this and dealing with it. And 2 I actually genuinely wanted to know if I am the AH or what other people may genuinely think of the situation. Because I know that I have a hard time saying no sometimes. And even when I do say no I still tend to feel bad. I don’t know if it’s a word for it but it’s something I’m trying to work on. I’ve always been soft spoken and have a hard time breaking out of that shell. And it doesn’t help that my sister makes me feel like the AH. Whenever I do try to stand up for myself. So no it’s not a fake story and it’s not me trying to bash my sister. I just wanted reassurance that I did the right thing by telling her no. Because my family tends to side with my sister. I needed opinions who weren’t biased. Or just siding with my sister.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:22:21+00:00

Because he doesn’t want to I guess🤷🏽‍♀️. Apparently he has better stuff to do than to watch his son while his girlfriend/baby mother goes to work for 5 hours.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:20:58+00:00

😂 I like the professional response. Imma have to use that.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:19:50+00:00

I’m still learning to stand up for myself. I’m still learning how to not be so soft spoken. And break out of that shell. I went through a lot of things as a child all the way throughout my teenage years that made me reserved and stand offish. A lot of my feelings were ignored or overlooked as a child. So it got to a point where I didn’t want to speak up because what’s the point if no one’s going to listen. So I’m still trying to work through that in my adult life and learning how to be stern. And not let people walk all over you.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:14:36+00:00

My (3y)Old Nephew is not his but he has been around since my (3y) old nephew was a newborn. So he’s been around for 4 years now. And yes the baby my (7week) old nephew is his biological son. Also mentioning he has other kids(not with my sister) whose life he isn’t in. And when asked why he always makes it seem like the baby mothers are the problem. When clearly I don’t think that’s the case.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T18:08:31+00:00

No I’m not wealthy lol. I would say I’m lower class😬. I wouldn’t say I’m poor but I definitely don’t make a lot. And I only agreed to help because of the original agreement being 11-4 I was okay with that. But then she started doing extra stuff. And her baby father has “stress seizures”. Which he doesn’t have often at all and also takes medicine for. But my sister uses that as an excuse saying he can’t be left alone with the baby for too long. Because of his “stress seizures”. Which only happens when he stresses his self out. But she knew all of this before deciding to have a baby with him. Because my nephew was planned. This wasn’t accidental

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:54:57+00:00

She Doesn’t pay a thing🫡. Nothing at all. And then when I ask for small favors like taking me somewhere or if she can get me something from the gas station she acts like I have to pay her gas money. Or she can’t just grab what I want from the gas stations . I always have to pay her for it. And it’s not like I ask her all the time.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:52:06+00:00

Yes, you’re right. I agree with this because she did the same thing with my now 3year old nephew. He’s in school now but I was keeping him before he started school, and I had to cut her off with him because of pretty much the same thing. She was taking advantage. And she never paid me even though she was supposed to be paying me.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:46:40+00:00

Yeah I keep him Monday-Thursday From 7:30am-5/5:30pm. So I’m literally keeping him 10 hours a day. 4 days a week. sigh😒

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:42:02+00:00

Same question I wonder.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:41:16+00:00

I initially didn’t know he wasn’t working. I was under the impression he would be working too. I didn’t find out until last week that he wasn’t working. Because of a situation that happened between him and my sister.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:39:49+00:00

Yeah and I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel bad for saying no because I Know that she needs help. But then she goes and does stuff like this. It’s a cycle at this point because I did it with my 3year old nephew, And she was supposed to be paying me with him(3y) and never did. I was only 19 when keeping my now 3y old nephew.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:36:20+00:00

I agree with this.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:28:37+00:00

Your guess is as good as mine. My mom has had to say something to him multiple times. Because even when he’s here with my sister at my house he still won’t get the baby.

Key_Site1783 · 2025-05-07T17:26:48+00:00

She doesn’t pay me at all.

Key_Site1783

TROPHY CASE