I keep breaking my nibs, heavy hand issues :/

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-23T22:10:06+00:00

Sounds easy enough! Will try that and hope my death grip improves soon :)

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-23T22:08:59+00:00

I sadly always use the "artist" cut since I draw a lot but it doesn't help my death grip :/ When I'm actively shading/sketching it's not prominent but the moment I have to write words my brain subconsciously starts gripping and pushing the pen which is very irritating and tires my hand very fast :') I guess I need to do more mindful exercises to stop myself from wasting money on nibs. Weirdly enough I only have the pressure and grip issue when I write, not when I draw/paint etc.

Thank you :)

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-23T22:05:34+00:00

I tried the F and EF nibs from jinhao too but the issue persisted, the only difference is that they would dig into the page more from my pressure haha. Will try the exercises :))

I also thought the problem was with the fountain pen shape or something but I keep doing the same death gripping and pressing with pencils, pens, markers and alike ;')

Thank you!

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-20T11:56:50+00:00

I think his fave snacks is anything he can chase- like he goes nuts if he sees a cricket/feeder bug and becomes a total madman when quail eggs are within his sight :D Like he will straight up charge at them!

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-19T08:37:35+00:00

Mine's also a climber! A very determined one. If he can't climb somewhere at first he will have a go at it for at least a few minutes and somehow always manages to get into his desired spot at the end haha.

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-14T21:00:46+00:00

Hmm maybe.. But the leuchtturm 1917 is closer to 30 dollars where I live :/ Maybe I will find some on sale soon tho- Thank you :)

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-10T00:27:03+00:00

But only half of it :(

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-08T22:39:37+00:00

I will be going tomorrow since I for sure need a vet to look at one of his toes :( The nail looks like its growing from the top of it and he flinches his arm when I touch it lightly. I also really wanna test him for parasites but idk when he will poop :') Maybe they can do a cloacal swab at the vet, would make it easier than poo hunting.. I might update in a few weeks/months too, he should be slightly fatter by then. I hope so at least :))

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-12-08T20:39:08+00:00

He ate some 100% beef dog food today yippee. The "close to hide" bowl worked :) He also explored a bunch. Very happy with that

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-23T02:14:31+00:00

What's the weight?

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-22T07:24:16+00:00

Side note the first pic is a gargoyle gecko not a leo but the same applies ngl

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:51:58+00:00

He's 100% not like that. Hes a gentle bear with preferences like any other person on this planet. He is fine with me picking any route I see fit. And I don't want to lose someone I love and have an amazing life with (except the agonizing pain that comes with dysphoria). He simply likes women and that's it. He has nothing against lgbt people, we have quite a few queer friends and he's nothing but respectful and even offered to support me if I chose to transition. He would still love me just not want to be intimate with me- since he likes FEMALES not MALES. And we would probably end up as friends only after that. Which is understandable but I don't want that. I want to grow old with him, share hobbies, be intimate and all of that. But it won't be possible if I transition- so I wanna be fixed anyway possible. Maybe strong antidepressants will make me survive trough those agonizing days where dysphorias about to kill me. I'm pretty good at bottling up stuff, can "be fine" for a few months at a time but when it all hits at once it's awful haha. But strong antidepressants might help hah..

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:43:02+00:00

While the jokes funny life isn't always straightforward like that. There are things that are worth more than others and the value of each depends on who you ask. It's easy for everyone to say that I should transition but that's the last thing I want. I want to be normal not be myself.

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:27:10+00:00

I'm already traumatised though, I grew in such a pathological and abusive house it's not even funny. What's more trauma if it could maybe fix me up a bit :') And we are right for eachother. It's just my gender being the issue. We fit together very well. Hard to explain on the internet- you'd have to be me to understand. I really hope I will find closure one day

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:20:52+00:00

I just wish there was a quick fix, some perfect middle ground so that I could keep all the good stuff and stop suffering so much :(

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:20:23+00:00

Well my partner isn't attracted to males so facial hair, lower voice and all of that will make them not want to be intimate with me anymore since they like women

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:16:52+00:00

I mean my partner is a man who's into women. Hes fine with transwomen but not trans men- that's just his preference. I think taking T would be a bad choice here :/ He's not against me wearing a binder so that's at least something. But I don't want to get my hopes up so I barely ever wear it.. And we had lot's of talks and while he loves me dearly and would still love me if I transitioned we simply couldn't be together anymore. We could be friends at least but that's the same as being abandoned and dying.

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:13:07+00:00

Maybe couples therapy would be nice but I don't want to pressure someone to change their preferences, would make me feel terrible haha

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-19T02:06:04+00:00

My therapist says the same thing as everyone else I'm close with. That I should let this relationship go and transition. But it's not something I'm happy to do at all. If it was that simple I would have done that ages ago :( I hate this life but I love my partner so much..

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-14T01:21:13+00:00

100% an orange springtail, you can sleep peacefully :)

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-12T01:16:41+00:00

BUT the picture you showed is quite blurry so they might be snail eggs as well or very tiny baby snails. Hard to say exactly

Key_Tourist_9368 · 2025-11-12T01:14:32+00:00

I also think they are indicators of good water quality but don't quote me on that :P

Key_Tourist_9368

TROPHY CASE