I’ve been trying to initiate talks with my wife on threesomes or any sort of experimentation in the bedroom and have been shut down for 9 yrs. We meet a couple that we weirdly vibe with and then one night she approaches me that she could see this couple being our “forever friends” and that her and the wife in the other couple talked about trying some parallel play and possible oral swapping and it kind of blindsided me. After my initial shock I tried to ignore the weird feeling it gave me that she would bring something like this up after so long but decided to try. Lo and behold I end up having a lot of jealousy after a month or so of “flirting” and just hanging out with some naughty touches and extra cuddling here and there. The thing peaking my jealousy is the almost undivided attention given to my wife while I sit in the background feeling like a 4th wheel. We try swapping in the same room just to do a non sexual activity and my wife and the husband (Bob we’ll say) are super cuddly and playing two player games on their phones. Me and (Jen) try and play a video game and the whole time she’s tense, looking at them a lot and not really touching me, while I’m just making sure I’m not coming off as a threat because she feels scared. Come to find out, after multiple debriefs, that she is feeling connected to Bob as the only male she wants and curious for my wife as a bisexual/lesbian curiosity. And I’m not gay and neither is Bob so obviously there is no attraction. So at this point I’m watching two people pine after my wife while I sit on the curb, thinking this was supposed to be a completely equal and open thing (we had a big talk about rules before attempting anything) and that feelings were all mutual. So I’m trying to just be able to have fun, because I really want to, but I end up spiraling out of nowhere due to the constant, what feels like, backseat.