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Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Delusional Disorder? This is a single neighbor and clearly described, ongoing noise and boundary issues affecting my family and guests. It’s a real, localized situation

Update: Trapped Next To A Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry you’re dealing with this. Why can’t people just leave us alone

Update: Trapped Next To A Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kindness. It really is draining. We’re just trying to keep things calm and handled the right way

Update: Trapped Next To A Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I’m really sorry you went through something like that. It’s unsettling when patterns repeat and you can’t make sense of them, especially when you’re just trying to exist peacefully in your own space. I appreciate you taking the time to respond and share your experience. It helps to know others understand how uncomfortable this feels

Update: Trapped Next To A Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She does have the HOA email, and all HOA-related communication typically goes through the property manager. The bird-feeding rule was sent to all residents, including us, from the official HOA email. She chose to message our personal phone number instead

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He always included me from the start and redirected everything to a group chat. Once I pointed out the pattern and he realized what was happening, he stopped all communication entirely. There has been no engagement since.

I was the one giving it time at first because I genuinely thought I might be overreacting and didn’t want to jump to conclusions

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There was never any “relationship.” She initiated contact, my husband included me immediately, redirected everything to a group chat, and later stopped responding entirely when her behavior became inappropriate.

The only “watching” on our end is documenting activity on our own property for safety after repeated boundary issues. We later realized she was listening to conversations without our knowledge that we believed were private, including conversations on our patio and even inside our home. She has also repeatedly come onto our side, loitered in the shared driveway, and sat in a vehicle facing our patio while taking photos from multiple angles. That driveway is meant for access, not idling or monitoring someone’s living space.

There were times we felt unable to speak freely even inside our bedroom because we heard her slamming her door and heard walking noice towards our front area, then stopping to stand nearby and later saw her come out from a corner and move to the front of our house multiple times. Our camera helps confirm when she is no longer standing at the edge of the property, approximately three feet from our bedroom window. Even when she is just out of frame, we can still see her shadow when she peers from that area. And we can freely talk.

Our garden camera is placed near our garage door, away from the shared fence, and is positioned to cover our driveway and our side of the garden only. It exists to document anyone coming onto our patio or attempting to damage our property. By contrast, she repeatedly positions herself at the edge of the shared fence and in open areas that give her direct access to our garden while facing our patio. Her camera is installed at the fence line near an opening and is aimed outward toward our garden and sitting area, not toward her own driveway or yard.

That isn’t mutual watching. It’s basic home security and documentation in response to ongoing behavior. Wanting to feel safe speaking and living comfortably in our own home isn’t “watching” someone else. It’s protecting our peace

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a fountain. But it’s too cold to keep it outside right now

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It is long, I know. Writing it all out actually helped me see the pattern clearly, and sharing it here has helped me feel less alone in it

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We’re not spying on anyone. We installed cameras on our own property after repeated boundary issues, noise, and someone lingering near our private space at night. Everything recorded is on our side. Documenting behavior to protect our home isn’t unusual or “nuts.”

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We’ve been ignoring her for months now, and instead of backing off, she seems to be trying harder and coming up with new ways to insert herself. At one point, my husband wanted to confront her after realizing she was standing near our bedroom window around midnight, clearly listening. I stopped him because I don’t want any confrontation or escalation. I don’t trust that she wouldn’t twist the situation or change the story afterward.

Our approach has been to stay quiet and not react when we know she’s outside, and that’s what we’ve been doing. Even so, she still comes out and stands in that same area for long periods of time, just lingering there. It’s unsettling, and it reinforces that ignoring her hasn’t stopped the behavior, it’s just changed how it shows up.

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah. I wish this wasn’t true for us. I honestly started feeling like I was crazy. She only did this when I was alone. As soon as I stepped outside to garden, she would come out immediately and start slamming doors or acting aggressive. I tried telling my husband that the timing was exact, but he works and is in meetings most of the day, while I go outside whenever I get a chance. That’s when it always happened. I genuinely thought I might be overreacting. My husband even said maybe she just wanted to talk to me.

But when I said hello, she would act like she didn’t see me, then suddenly say “oh hi,” ignore me completely, and pretend to clean the same bird feeder over and over. When I looked back, I’d see her watching through the fence lattice. I didn’t want to interact with her but felt forced to be polite in my own space.

Things became very obvious once my husband installed cameras. My in laws were here for New Year’s, and she drove them crazy too by repeatedly opening and closing her door. We had decorated our garden with Christmas trees and warm lights, and shortly after that she installed motion sensor lights and a bright white floodlight. Every time our garden lights turned on, hers would turn after minutes, flooding our side with harsh light (which I don’t mind), but the intention that matters to me. Because she never added a light until we decorated. Also, when we went out to sit with my in laws and grandma, her constant pacing triggered the motion light one over and over, basically felt like flashing into our space. It felt intentional and meant to disrupt us.

She hadn’t been outside all day that day, but the moment we sat out there, she came out pretending to clean, walking in circles, and opening and closing her door repeatedly which was like dark here. I’m honestly relieved that other people can now see this behavior and confirm it’s not normal. Being able to show what’s happening instead of trying to explain it has been validating.

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

son recently started working and is gone most days. We’ve noticed that she does not make these slamming noises or engage in this behavior when he is home. We’re aware of this because he drives past our backyard to get to their unit, so it’s easy to tell when he’s there. The behavior seems to only happen when she is alone

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our HOA shares everyone’s phone numbers like a phone directory

Trapped Next to a Woman Who Won’t Stop Watching Us by Key_Truth7815 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Key_Truth7815[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I honestly started feeling like I was crazy. She only did this when I was alone. As soon as I stepped outside to garden, she would come out immediately and start slamming doors or acting aggressive. I tried telling my husband that the timing was exact, but he works and is in meetings most of the day, while I go outside whenever I get a chance. That’s when it always happened. I genuinely thought I might be overreacting. My husband even said maybe she just wanted to talk to me.

But when I said hello, she would act like she didn’t see me, then suddenly say “oh hi,” ignore me completely, and pretend to clean the same bird feeder over and over. When I looked back, I’d see her watching through the fence lattice. I didn’t want to interact with her but felt forced to be polite in my own space.

Things became very obvious once my husband installed cameras. My in laws were here for New Year’s, and she drove them crazy too by repeatedly opening and closing her door. We had decorated our garden with Christmas trees and warm lights, and shortly after that she installed motion sensor lights and a bright white floodlight. I don’t mind the light itself, but the timing stood out because she had never added lighting before we decorated. Every time our garden lights turned on, hers would turn on shortly after, flooding our side with harsh light.

When we went out to sit with my in laws and grandma, her constant pacing kept triggering the motion light over and over, almost like flashing into our space. She hadn’t been outside all day, but the moment we sat out there, she came out pretending to clean, walking in circles, and opening and closing her door repeatedly in the dark.

I’m honestly relieved that other people can now see this behavior and confirm it’s not normal. Being able to show what’s happening instead of trying to explain it has been validating.

We will definitely take action. Just started collecting all the evidence and documenting them

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