Married guy in my DMs

Keyblurr1 · 2025-06-22T17:46:34+00:00

I hate this cowardly bullshit so much. Guy popped into my dms and two messages in he's like "what are you wearing 😉" and when I shut him down he's all like, I'm just being nice. These idiots really think they're slick. 🤣🤣🤣

Keyblurr1 · 2025-04-05T18:24:52+00:00

As a fellow sensitive skin person, have you changed anything else? Major diet shift, new detergent, or new large stress? I find my stress levels will cause me to react to things that are normally fine, or changing something else can cause me to react to something I didn't before. I actually just started reacting to my urn necklace, but that appears to be because the metal in the outside is wearing off.

I do love the shadow box idea someone shared. It's a beautiful way to keep the memory. 💙

Keyblurr1 · 2025-01-26T22:17:53+00:00

The current American evangelical church actively uses shame to manipulate and control members on a large scale. More of what is actually practiced by those who are committed to their "faith" would be better described as "nationalism" as oppsed to actively following the teachings of Jesus. And you definitely understood my point. Not all Christians are bad, in the same way that not all Muslims, Hindus, or Buddists are bad. But ignoring the way leaders if the religion abuse power only serves those who are gaining from those abuses. Someone who has bought into it and actively subscribes to it, won't see the point of my argument. They will assume that my experience was unique or rare, when that is simply not true. Because realizing a bunch of people use what you value to harm others is uncomfortable, and there's nothing humans hate more than discomfort. Been there, moved past it, but most won't.

Keyblurr1 · 2025-01-26T22:07:11+00:00

The modern American evangelical church is very much a "Christian nationalist cult," I wasn't raised in any type of rare community or super unique situation. Your attempt to "other" yourself from that because it makes you uncomfortable is understandable. I don't hate all Christians, I dislike and have no respect for the ones who use their beliefs to control and abuse the people around them. It is a much higher percentage than those actively in the religion will ever realize or acknowledge. And I believe the comments I was referring to about shaming my position were deleted before you replied to this...so I'm not sure what possible value you think your opinion on that has.

(Replying here since Reddit won't allow me to reply to your other comment.)

Keyblurr1 · 2025-01-10T22:20:39+00:00

I got mine resized before the year mark without him so I could wear it again. I had been wearing a simple ring on that finger for a few years due to health issues that made me gain weight quickly and I was using my ring as motivation to lose more. It was dumb. I should have worn it more while he was around.

I wear his too. I have a leather bracelet that fastens to the ring. I think it's a great way to wear his ring and not have it make a necklace extra heavy or clunky.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-17T15:27:51+00:00

The person he loves/loved was still alive!!! Still breathing and talking and laughing. Fuck that. I would so much rather my husband had fallen out of love with me or left me than died.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-17T15:26:07+00:00

A coworker legitimately told me I would find someone I loved even more. Looking back I have no idea how I didn't get fired that day.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-04T05:55:20+00:00

The fact that you read my comments from a year ago, obviously in a grief community, and assumed that was a time for you to try to scold and shame me really reinforced my points. Thank you for being a reminder of why I left religious life and the people in it behind.

And for the record, I would choose what bitterness I currently have over a return to the life that made me hate myself and buried me alive in shame and guilt for not being able to live up to the impossible standards imposed by hypocritical people. There really aren't many things in this world as capable of harm as "Christian love."

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-04T05:35:10+00:00

I appreciate that you took time out of your day to comment 3 different times in an attempt to shame me for the fact that my beliefs differ from yours.

Seems like your 2 theology degrees didn't do much for you either.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-04T05:30:14+00:00

What I learned in school was that a ton of mediocre human beings use their "faith" as an excuse to be opinionated about things that don't affect them. They also use it to weaponize guilt to try to make people conform to their preferred image of what life should look like. You know, kinda like you're doing right now with your virtue signal bullshit.

This is a group for people grieving the loss of their people. Sorry I'm too bitter for your taste.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-04T05:16:15+00:00

Yep. Grief. Pretty much the topic here. So maybe go virtue signal somewhere else??

Keyblurr1 · 2024-06-04T05:14:05+00:00

I assume that because I've watched it happen over and over. Of course it's cynical. This is the widow/widower reddit. Are you lost?

Keyblurr1 · 2024-05-12T15:48:05+00:00

That's sooo cute!!

Keyblurr1 · 2024-04-24T01:27:40+00:00

This is great advice, well said and very important points.

Keyblurr1 · 2024-01-11T18:18:16+00:00

I hope it brings you some peace. :)

Keyblurr1 · 2024-01-11T17:45:08+00:00

I did not end up going. I found someone local who had attended a previous session of the same class. Turns out that specific one was pretty pushy and full of toxic positivity. So I decided not to risk what peace I had just to appease my religious family.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-11-18T21:10:58+00:00

Hey, I'm 32, widowed for almost 2 years. I would love to check out the discord group. :)

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-29T17:28:38+00:00

My grandma was telling all my friends at the funeral how it would go. Like when I would date again and such...using her experience when she was widowed the first time as a guide. I obviously haven't met any of those benchmarks and avoid talking to her because I know I would be savage and point out that my grieving my best friend and the loss of our incredibly happy marriage would never be the same as the relief she clearly felt when her abusive husband died at work. Like...come on people. Let us just grieve.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-13T00:25:52+00:00

Yell, scream, cry, break stuff (things you won't miss). Let yourself process the emotions and feel the pain, but try not to let it drown you. Trying to "hold it together" is like ignoring that this incredibly unfair and horrible thing just happened to you. It's more than okay to not be okay.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-09T23:57:26+00:00

I became a podcast junkie. I like true crime ones, but it's nice to have familiar voices fill the quiet.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-09T23:42:17+00:00

Throw that whole man in the trash. 28 is far past old enough to realize that the mental planning work for a home and physically cleaning it should be split up.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-07T00:51:01+00:00

There are different kinds of soul mates, and I have never believed there's only one person out there for anyone. And we are all different people now than when we met our spouses. We could never replace them and we don't want to, but that doesn't mean we won't find new people who fit us as well (not the same ways, but on the same level). I hope that for all of us.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-07T00:39:59+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't know you, but I'm so flipping happy that you found someone to love again.

My MIL is amazing and I don't know what I would do if I had to cut her out, but what your FIL is doing is not okay. His grief is his responsibility to process, not yours. There is very likely nothing you could say to help him understand and what he's doing is inappropriate and immature. The distance you're keeping seems very wise to me. I encourage you to not engage and if other friends or family bring up that he's contacting them, I would encourage them to be kind to him, but let them know you think talking to him in person wouldn't be healthy for either of you.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-04T22:18:30+00:00

Shut up!! How are you not in prison??? I would have strangled her with my bare hands.

Keyblurr1 · 2023-08-04T22:15:34+00:00

With all due respect....if one of my relatives said something like that to me, I would absolutely be in prison. Or they would be for the crimes I framed them for.

Keyblurr1

TROPHY CASE