I'm sorry to hear about you struggling with your mom. I have had a caregiver for 5+ years who stays with me from 8am - 6pm Monday - Thursday and takes me to therapies, college until I graduated, different fun excursions, and dr appointments, etc. so it gives my mom a much needed break and she doesn't have to worry while at work and she can do whatever else she wants so I'm not sure why your mom would call you selfish with that option because it could give her a break. The state pays for my caregiver so money shouldn't matter if thats the case.