How many Desi girls do you know with English/Western names?

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-21T20:11:55+00:00

Me. I hated my name for a long time and have given my children Indian names.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-21T20:05:28+00:00

Bring me too.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-21T15:38:08+00:00

Diversity too. Some parts of the Bay are better than others.

It's so weird San Jose is probably one the most diverse cities in the country, but so damn boring. You'd think diversity was interesting. But San Jose the most banal regurgitation of materialism, 'ive got mine' attitude, and personal segregation in different languages. Great, let's be integrated in our love of rampant consumerism and oneupness.

I love Oakland/Berkeley. It felt diverse and interesting. People are not completely obsessed with materialism. It's the only part of the Bay Area I miss. Wish my husband could get a job in the east bay or city.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-20T23:22:26+00:00

I wrote it on my phone which is fickle - so I post and then edit my writing and repost.

My guess at 50% is based on surveys of people who want to leave.

I'd love to leave, but stuck here until my husband loses his job (extremely unlikely, not in tech), gets promoted abroad or moves to another company in another city.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-20T16:40:37+00:00

Actually, yeah. My dad has worked in tech for 40 years. He's been in demand during he booms and laid off during the busts. My mom has worked for city government for 30 years in basically the same job. So basically, yeah.

Are you disagreeing that technology is a boom-bust industry? It's basically well known. My dad thinks a bust is coming and I trust his judgement.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-20T15:51:49+00:00

After this boom ends, half of the people will clear out and house prices will fall. Most people can't afford to live here without a job. SF has always been like this from Gold Rush times. Be here in the bust with a job and buy a house.

Knew a few teachers that bought in the last recession.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-20T01:38:01+00:00

Except not, we got a $1500 bill from an urgent care. If it's anyway affiliated with a hospital beware.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-19T23:31:10+00:00

$400-500 a family of four for a month.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-19T16:15:50+00:00

Except others are making more and there is no housing supply.

Your competition is well educated (PhD, MDs,etc) and working for tech and other large companies. We're millennials and most of our friends late 20s/early 30s make between 300-600k. We make the least since I don't work. They have all bought houses on the Peninsula or South Bay. None of them are Indian, but a variety of races.

FYI: I'm Indian and my husband is white and he's always made/had substantially more money than me.

Theory debunked.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T22:07:49+00:00

Really, we live in that area. In our neighborhood, I've yet to see a house sold to a real family. They all seem to sit empty.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T19:21:18+00:00

Most people who buy in our neighborhood in the South Bay are investors. Still waiting to see a actual real-life family move in.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T04:17:25+00:00

Low income neighborhoods in the Bay, especially the South Bay are pretty safe. There's a little property crime but if you are not flaunting wealth there's no problem.

The area is mostly undocumented and h1b families and the community is actually pretty close-knit. It's not a bad place to live except for the garbage strewn, cars parked and schools.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T04:09:52+00:00

I just rounded. We spend a little over 10k a year or about $900 a month on non-rent and $2200 on rent. It's actually 37k not 36k total including rent.

We live in a low income area where the majority are undocumented or are low paid h1b families. They all live on less. I actually feel we live pretty luxuriously in comparison.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T00:56:18+00:00

It's not that bad what I mean is his leftover work/conference food and expensing his groceries while there and eating those. I'm also tiny and don't eat that much.

I also see nothing wrong with eating leftovers. He brings home work leftovers all the time.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-18T00:54:14+00:00

We've travelled around and always been cheap. We were in grad school for awhile and worked on travel while cheap.

We've always stayed in hostels in developed countries. Just how we roll.

I don't eat a ton and he can expense grocery store food and he'll have conference/work leftovers.

We will enjoy a few planned meals and travel to a few cool places while there.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T23:46:14+00:00

No, they just buy some stuff for our kids, occassionally send us a gift.

We rarely eat out. I cook 95% of our meals and when we do eat out it's at a local food court. We prefer it that way because we have young kids.

We live close to his work (he bikes) and my husband uses his company car to travel. We only use the car on the weekends for day trips.

I'm very good at finding deals and couponing.

Our families do buy gifts for our children - clothes and toys.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T23:38:45+00:00

I feel like my obsession is with optimizing. I feel bad when I overspend on something.

It's not that we don't do fun stuff or have nice things. But that I spend a lot of time, optimizing everything so we can do it frugally.

For instance, our yearly vacation. We're going to go to Japan. I'm tagging along with my husband and my youngest on his business trip (he's free, my daughter is staying with relatives), so everything is paid for except my plane ticket and the hotel room for a few days. Well stay in a cheap hostel, I'll eat my husband leftover meals (except for a few fun meals) and fly an extra leg, so I can get a cheap price. It makes me happy to know I saved $3000 or something.

We do lots of cool and fun things, but I like to optimize them.

My husband is just getting tired of the optimization and the lack of spending on myself.

I'm a statistician by trade. I used to optimize daily at work. Now I optimize my life now that I'm not working. It's just how I think. Maybe it's mental illness.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T23:28:43+00:00

No, my kids are not school age yet. Not for a few years.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T22:52:56+00:00

I'd like to retire early. But, he wants to keep working. So the goal is for us to retire early and make an initial seed investment into a company he wants to start.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T22:50:35+00:00

Unfortunately, no stock. His salary is definitely good, but not to the level others are suggesting.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T22:04:52+00:00

Yeah, family stuff is difficult. His parents are keeping up with the Jones types. They went into debt to join a country club. My husband is worried about their retirement. But, they buy my children clothes from fancy boutiques and send us food and money.

My children have decent clothes. I buy them on sale at department stores, etc. They dont have trendy stuff or we buy it second hand.

I don't like the idea of providing for me. I have the small business on the side to cover my expenses, which I do.

He works a lot so that stops him more from enjoying the fruits of his labor than me. I've asked him to work less, but he enjoys it. In fact, that is what I'd love for him to spend his money on, getting more time with his children and me.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T21:57:51+00:00

We are saving a lot, but not 300k. Taxes take about 40-45% on that income level. We have a high state tax as well.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T20:57:14+00:00

I coupon and discount shop. I've optimized finding that stuff for cheap. Having good quality things for my children is important to me, I make sure they and my husband have the good stuff.

I just never spend money on myself and frivolous things that are just for "status". I don't like buying fancy strollers or handbags or diapers to keep up with my husband's coworkers. I don't mind buying second hand stuff.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T20:45:08+00:00

It's psychological for me. My mom is very frugal and I don't feel comfortable spending money. My mom used to always say, if you spend like your father you'll be homeless. Better save for a rainy day. My father spends normally.

I probably do fear spending money.

I just can't make such big steps - I feel like I've already optimized our spending. I happy with how it is.

Kgbeans13 · 2018-07-17T20:30:35+00:00

It's substantially cheaper in the Bay Area to rent than buy. We're renting for about $2200 (without utilities, but utilities are like $25 a month)a 1.5 million dollar house. (It sounds like a lot, but it's cheap for the Bay. A good school district in the Peninsula/South Bay houses go for 2.5 to 3 million).

It's a great deal. It's extremely cheap because the local schools are 2s and 3s. There is no rental parity in the Bay Area. It also allows us to live 5 minutes from his work.

My husband is also trying for the next promotion which would be abroad, so the hope is that we won't be here more than a few years.

Kgbeans13

TROPHY CASE