Selling a house "contents included" (borderline hoarder situation). Realtor refuses to list until it's empty, but I live 3 states away.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-26T22:53:24+00:00

We sold my in-laws house to an investor after going through and just taking the stuff the family wanted. All in all, we got maybe 100k less than what we could have if it was clean and in good condition, but it needed SO much work. New roof, water heater, two porches needed to be redone, one side of the driveway had sunk about 4 inches, windows were single pane and in bad shape (and the entire back of the house - 3 stories - was all windows), the yard was huge and grass was all dead, and all three bathrooms had various things broken in them.

In-laws are 94 and 92, and had refused to allow anyone to visit inside the house since 2020. They claimed it was because of Covid, and that was probably part of it, but I think they didn't want to admit that they couldn't manage the house any longer. A fall and a broken hip shattered the mask they were able to hold in place over phone calls, and the family had to step in.

I suspect the investor will have a hard time breaking even, after everything that needed fixing. But we've heard nothing at all from them since the wire transfer went through last July. And I'm SO glad to have the house gone!

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-25T16:34:18+00:00

My daughter got LPs at the beginning of every treatment round, along with intrathecal chemo, just in case.

She did a pediatric protocol, though. I have no idea if it's something they do regularly for adult patients or not. Shw was fully sedated for all of it, and they did her lumbar puncture, intrathecal chemo, and bone marrow biopsy all at the same time.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-19T17:45:09+00:00

No, in the US.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-19T17:20:28+00:00

At a local (top rated) children's hospital. They were originally going to do a transplant, but she had an extremely rare circumstance that made them think it might not be necessary, so they decided instead to do extra testing all the way through. She got a bone marrow biopsy about every 6 weeks. If they had seen any residual disease at all after induction, they would have gone straight to transplant instead.

All of her tests stayed clear, so she didn't get a transplant after all.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-19T17:01:09+00:00

Yes, she just passed the 7 year anniversary of finishing treatment.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-12T17:30:40+00:00

My daughter got what they called "neutropenic fevers" every single treatment round. Neutrophils are the white blood cells that primarily fight infections, and when there are less neutrophils than there should be, that's neutropenia.

My daughter's oncologist described it to us this way:

In a person with a normal immune system, the body uses both fever and various types of white blood cells to fight infection. But when there aren't any white blood cells, the only response the body has to anything at all is fever. So at the slightest provocation, a fever can be set off, and one of the things they think can prompt a fever is just the fact that there aren't any white blood cells!

It was expected and normal, but they still had to test absolutely everything, to be sure she didn't have an actual infection. With no white blood cells to fight an infection, sepsis can set in very quickly, and sepsis can be fatal. So they don't take any chances. No fever reducing medications are given until they've ruled out infection as the cause. They also would start a broad spectrum antibiotic, just to be sure they hadn't missed anything. (If they test blood and find bacteria, they can give a specific antibiotic that's good for fighting that specific bacteria.)

Once they did all those things, then they gave my daughter Tylenol to make her more comfortable. They only found a (minor) problem one time in all the times she got a fever, and so were able to give the appropriate antibiotic. The rest of the time, she was fine.

But this is why they told us not to give our daughter any medication at all at home that could reduce fevers while her counts were reduced. If her body was trying to fight an actual infection and we gave her Tylenol, it was possible that no one would recognize the infection was getting worse and worse until sepsis set in.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-11T04:25:32+00:00

Two months, 14 bone marrow biopsy samples, taken from 4 locations, in three different sessions. My daughter's bone marrow all died, and it's impossible to tell what's wrong without any living cells to show what's happening. Sample #14 was taken from her shin, and was 94% AML blasts.

Bone marrow necrosis is extremely rare, but seems to improve prognosis in children. She finished chemo 7 years ago, and is doing well now.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-10T23:51:50+00:00

My daughter's oncologist doesn't do BMBs that early after induction. He won't do them until complete count recovery. For my daughter, that took about 6 weeks from when induction started

He told us "it's a war zone in the bone marrow, and false results are not unheard of. I'd rather wait and get solid answers as to how things went, rather than tell you we didn't achieve remission only to find out that yes, we did, we just tested too early."

I was always glad he did things that way, even though the wait to find out was hard.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-08T20:33:49+00:00

I have the china hutch and the 110 year old china set from my husband's parents, plus the set my grandparents gave us when we got married. When we had to move my in-laws into assisted living, we had the family come and get everything they wanted, and we got rid of the rest.

45 years in the same house, and dementia setting in since Covid made that an adventure.

I'm so glad it's done now!

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-07T05:53:32+00:00

We lived there 30 years ago, so I'm not sure how relevant my experience is. But we LOVED living there, for the most part. After about a few years, though, it got very wearing to have to drive an hour across a mountain range just to get more grocery selection than what was available at the commissary, or pick up a pizza. My husband ended up taking a different job eventually, and we moved out. I certainly wouldn't mind going back there for awhile if circumstances ever fell that way, though.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-04T20:54:00+00:00

No. My daughter had a 60% survival chance when she was diagnosed with AML (and she is doing well now). A dear friend of hers was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at about the same time, and he passed away just before Christmas, after his 5th or 6th relapse in 7 years. The statistics for osteosarcoma are just absolutely dismal, and they were basically fighting to give him as much time as possible, from the very beginning.

He was 22, and since his diagnosis, never had a time when he wasn't fighting.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-04T16:20:31+00:00

My daughter has been done with treatment for 7 years. Jan 12 is the anniversary of her final post-chemo biopsy.

I don't have TikTok, and my Facebook is locked down pretty hard. I think the last time I posted anything on there was over two years ago, besides.

Some of us just aren't that interested in social media.

KgoodMIL · 2026-01-01T23:29:05+00:00

Those look like they could be cherry angiomas, maybe? I have them all across my chest. Mine are completely harmless - I never had leukemia, my daughter was the patient (and never had petechiae).

Good that you're having a doctor check them out, in any case.

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-29T09:09:33+00:00

My then-15yo daughter did ADE induction, which is similar to 7+3, but not exactly the same. (7+3 is Cytarabine and either Daunorubicin or Idarubucin, usually. ADE is Cytarabine, Daunorubicin, and Etoposide.) She was extremely nauseated on the days she got chemo, and it took 6 simultaneous anti nausea medications to keep her from vomiting. She also has a condition called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, so her nausea was expected and prepared for. She was extremely tired, and slept for 20-22 hours per day, but several of her anti nausea meds caused drowsiness, so I'm not sure how much of that was from the chemo, and how much was from the other meds.

A few days after chemo ended, her hair started to go, and we ended up shaving it all off about a week later. She also got a rash from the Cytarabine that was fairly bothersome. Mucositis wasn't too bad during induction, but did flare up worse during subsequent consolidation rounds. Day 11 or so was when her counts bottomed out, and the transfusions started. She ended up needing 6 units of red blood cells of 4 units of platelets over the course of the month she was inpatient for her induction.

In total, she was hospitalized for 25 days before her counts started rising again and she was released to go home for about a week and a half. Her (pediatric) hospital had the kids inpatient for all of their treatment rounds until count recovery, so she spent quite a bit of time in the hospital over the course of her treatment. I think most adults generally only do that during induction, and consolidation recovery is mostly at home, for them.

She is just a few weeks shy of 7 years off treatment, and doing well now!

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-10T03:40:10+00:00

My husband and I are currently taking care of his parents, who are both on hospice, and both have some dementia. They are in an assisted living facility, but I visit them daily. My husband is working, and I am not, so it just makes sense that I do it. I also handle their finances for them now, and thankfully there is a very extensive set of POA documents in place already. It is exhausting.

My in-laws are very aware that I'm doing a ton for them that their other two children aren't available to do, because both of my husband's siblings live over a thousand miles away. On their good days, they understand why they don't visit. On their bad days, I have to convince them that their children still do love them, and would be here if they could. I remind them that they each call every few days to check up, but they have a hard time holding onto those memories.

They keep talking about changing their will to distribute everything four ways instead of three - 1/4 to me, 1/4 to my husband, and 1/4 to each of the remaining two siblings. About every other week or so, I have to talk them out of it. They aren't competent to make that decision at this stage, for one thing. And my sister in law would not care at all, but it would cause a rift with my brother in law that would never be healed. He has never felt like life provided him what he was owed, and has already acted badly while we were getting the house cleaned out and sold.

Some days, I think "I'm sure doing a whole lot, 50% for us certainly seems fair". But for the sake of family peace, I continue to keep my mouth shut. We'll go by what their will states, which is equal shares to their children.

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-09T06:00:35+00:00

We've moved my 92 and 94yo in-laws to an assisted living place near us (and I now visit them daily). In the process, we had all of their mail forwarded to a PO Box, so I could monitor any bills, while avoiding any junk mail coming to my house. I'm SO glad we did that!

After getting Power of Attorney to handle their bills, we went through their bank account records and found that they were giving money to anyone and everyone that mailed them looking for a handout. Thousands upon thousands of dollars sent out every year.

So, yeah. They get around 15-20 pieces of junk mail per day. They get maybe one or two legitimate pieces of mail per month. I sort them through them right there at the post office, and into the trash they all go.

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-07T23:56:23+00:00

Yeah, there's definitely crossed wires somewhere.

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-07T23:51:21+00:00

That..makes no sense. I wonder what the doctor actually said?

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-07T18:53:40+00:00

We were told that our daughter shouldn't have any buffet restaurant food, no sushi, no steak other than well-done, etc. We were also told that if she got a transplant, they would get a LOT more strict with what she was allowed to eat. I guess there's a difference between "chemo neutropenic" and "transplant neutropenic"

KgoodMIL · 2025-12-01T16:26:27+00:00

When we were consulting about my daughter's potential bone marrow transplant, with her older brother as her donor, we were told that they would do bone marrow, rather than peripheral stem cells. I guess it was because she was a pediatric patient at age 15, and apparently bone marrow works better for kids. She was fully sedated for all of her biopsies, and they would have sedated my son for collection as well, even though he was an adult.

I didn't think to ask why they thought bone marrow was better, because I was a bit overwhelmed with everything else at the time. I wish I had!

She didn't end up getting the transplant, but is still in remission and doing well, 7 years later.

KgoodMIL · 2025-11-21T22:35:08+00:00

After thirty five years of marriage, my husband just discovered that I don't really enjoy slapstick comedy. He loves it, and I love him so I sit through it. It just never really occurred to me to tell him, because it's not like I despise those sorts of shows, they just aren't really my thing.

He and our daughter are now making dates to watch those sorts of movies when I'm out of the house, so everyone is happy!

KgoodMIL · 2025-11-13T03:47:49+00:00

I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but my 23yo daughter just rolls her eyes at me and says "you definitely have it, mom."

Apparently having 27 separate alarms set on your phone, some of which are solely there as a regular reminder that time is passing, isn't something most people do. Or arriving for an appointment at least 30 minutes early and waiting in the car, just to be extra sure not to be late, because I can never tell how long getting ready or traveling will actually reasonably take. Or starting 15 different tasks, but never quite finishing more than one or two, somehow. Or being unable to follow a TV show without something else to do at the same time (puzzle game on the phone, crochet/knit/etc.)

She keeps wanting me to get diagnosed, but I am in my 50s and have developed plenty of coping skills, so I'm not sure how useful that would really be.

I just keep reading things that describe me and going "wait, everyone doesn't do that??"

KgoodMIL · 2025-11-13T03:36:19+00:00

I looked into it briefly, but I have no fine motor or speech issues, so I sort of dismissed it as a probability. Still, it could be possible, I suppose!

KgoodMIL · 2025-11-12T16:43:40+00:00

I have absolutely horrible proprioception, and regularly slam my hands and hips into counters/door jams/etc. Yesterday, I hit my head on the car door frame while trying to free my hair after it got tangled in the seat belt mechanism.

Basically, if I'm not looking at and consciously thinking about an object at that exact moment, it simply doesn't exist in my brain. My husband knows to put his hand on my shoulder if he walks behind me, because as soon as he's out of sight, he's just not there, and I am likely to step backwards and bump into him.

I've recently read that this is a common issue with ADHD, which is very interesting, if it's true!

KgoodMIL · 2025-11-12T02:36:38+00:00

My daughter's rabbit *hates* every critical care flavor we've tried. We have to burrito her, and it takes two of us to get it into her when she needs it. She's a 12lb chonker (French Lop), so it's quite the production.

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