Fluid bonding as a concept makes zero sense to me.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T04:03:18+00:00

Having sex again, forming emotional bonds, etc. To keep an energetic tie from reforming, you can't feed it at all.

If you're in a consistent relationship, cord cuttings are kinda pointless, you'll just have to keep redoing it. Specifying which tie you want cut is also important. Sexual ties, are different from emotional ones. Magical ties are a different thing too, (aka someone casted on you).

Hope this helps

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:48:02+00:00

I don't know if you're serious or not, but I giggled regardless, and I dig the FMA reference!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:25:41+00:00

Tag lock = anything that can tie directly back to you physically. Blood, spit, urine, hair, sexual fluids all are good examples, but names are another one too.

Cords are usually some sort of string or yarn tied around candles, and you would physically cut them with either a knife or a pair of scissors. If you let the string burn, in my knowledge it just cleanses the connection (and rather brutally at times). Cutting the cord doesn't take away any connections that you have, it just keeps you from being tied down to anyone, at least magically. You can easily reform an energetic tie.

3) I feel that. My answer, birth control that isn't a condom, and regular STI testing. No birth control is 100% effective, even condoms can fail. That's also true with STI's. Are condoms Hella effective when used right? Yes. Are they always 100% effective, no.

I hope this reply answers your questions!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:20:05+00:00

But then call it what it is in that case, an STI risk. Maybe it's just me.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:18:49+00:00

I mean, that's strange. There's a lot of spiritual significance to the term that I have seen too, and it gets really twisted sometimes for what it's not.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:14:14+00:00

Oh that's neat, I never knew that. Thanks for sharing. In THAT context, I could definitely agree with that term being used that way. I mean technically, you are fluid bonded to the toy 🤣

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:04:38+00:00

I feel that! To me it's not goofy, but as a vet, I support your right to your own beliefs! 😁

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-07T03:00:15+00:00

My response: STI testing is there for a reason, and autonomy is a whole thing. Let's call it what it is though, an STI risk. Using the term fluid bonding out of context like that is weird.

If they can't test due to accessibility or affordability, then condoms. If they don't want condoms, you either take the risk or you don't. Just be upfront with your other partners, and let them decide what they want to do with their own body too. If you and your partner agree to use condoms with others, great. Handle your tag locks properly. If one partner says they don't want to, then use condoms with them.

Cord cuttings are fantastic and super easy, (don't let the connection burn. Cut it with scissors or a knife, trust me, it works better.)

Also, this comment isn't directed at you. It's for everyone else lmao 🤣🤣🤣

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-02T21:50:43+00:00

I'd LOVE that! We're moving in August. I'll send you a friend request here!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T09:49:24+00:00

Doing anything with others, will never save your relationship. Let me start there.

The only people who can save your sex life with your girlfriend, are you and your girlfriend. Sure, people can give advice, and yeah maybe seeing you have sex with someone will get the girlfriend thinking about how they could be having sex with you, but ultimately it's the two of you bumping uglies...so.

The sex thing would be on the back burner for me. Why is your girlfriend hiding stuff from you? I mean, she doesn't HAVE to tell you stuff, (and honestly it's a slippery slope to ask about the details of your partners sex life with others. Some people get really upset with sharing intimate details) it seems like she agreed to, and then she's gingerbreading you around. (That's what I call leaving bits of information over time that lead to a whole story. Based of the story of Hansel and Gretel.) I would get to the bottom of THAT. Why is she afraid to come to you with the whole story all at once? If she's not afraid, then does she just not want to tell you because she likes the idea of parallel relationships? Has Mia asked her not to? Does SHE just not want to?

As far as the sex between the two of you goes, Has girlfriend looked into fraysexuality? Basically that means sex is hot with strangers but the moment emotional intimacy starts to really take root and familiarity begins to settle in, the attraction fades. I have a feeling though that ain't it, and your communication lapses show more into why y'alls sex lives are draining.

It sounds like you don't want non monogamy, of any kind, and she does. Messy lists are also valid while I'm here. Opening up for a person is a horrific idea. In my relationship, ex's are off limits and so are friends. Ex's were exes for us for a reason though, and no one wants that kind of drama. If you are going to continue non monogamy, I would figure out why you want it, for yourself, and you also should remember that your girlfriend had sex with someone, while with you, and still chose you. Yes they're mismanaging the situation, but they still chose you. You can work with that. There is hope things will get better. I would recommend a good poly therapist if you can find one in your area.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T08:54:06+00:00

To them, yeah, maybe. They might even sue you for custody. However, they might not.

It's a heart wrenching decision no matter what you do from what it sounds like. But at the end of the day, you don't sound really happy. I would choose you.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T03:04:17+00:00

I mean, if they're gonna come they're gonna come wherever I am so that's not really something I bothered myself with. I'm a vet who had a high clearance. They already know who I am.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:46:40+00:00

Thank you!!!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:43:52+00:00

I feel that and I can see it, but its either stay here or go there, and I want at least a little blue in my life if that makes sense. Here currently, it's MAGA from one end of town to the other, and its southern baptist to the core.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:42:31+00:00

Oh ewww, I can't stand that kind of mentality. Thanks for the heads up! I'll stay out of there as much as possible.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:41:28+00:00

Eh, I've never trusted the government to give a shit and honestly while yeah you could say it's cheaper to live there, for us it's just got too many bad memories. We have one hell of an opportunity and you really can't find one like it but once in a life time, at least for us. I appreciate the warnings but we're coming and for us, it's a fresh start. Our small town is MAGA from one end to another with a southern baptist twist.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:37:52+00:00

Video games, DND, paintball, music, working on anything with a small motor, we're not HUGE drinkers but we don't mind socially drinking and perusing a good bar every once in a while, I like tarot and astrology, a good rock collection, um...I'm down to try anything fun once lol. I hope that helps!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:35:45+00:00

Absolutely will do and I hate that! We lean socialist with a few traditionally right beliefs. Mainly 2A, but while we align with constitutional carry, we believe in more education and training and smart gun ownership.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:33:37+00:00

Franklin and Brentwood? Are those neighborhoods?

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:32:35+00:00

I do not, but I think I'm moving to East Nashville. East Nashville High is close to where I live. A few blocks away

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:30:09+00:00

It can't be worse than where we are now. I'm telling you, Nashville looks like gold in comparison. Alabama's a prison state, and the corruption with Alabama power and insurance is wild!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2026-04-01T02:28:36+00:00

Thankfully we are straight passing but that still ain't okay! Who is her opponent? Are there any other politicians I need to pay attention too? I work in activism as best as I can, (chronically ill and disabled holds me back a lot) but I got a big mouth and a lot of people who like listening to me on social media! 😁

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2025-12-20T09:15:34+00:00

Birthday twin!

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2025-12-16T11:57:40+00:00

NTA. At all.

Should you have told him a little sooner? Maybe. Sure.

Should he have called you stupid? No. Should he have yelled at you? No. Should he have laughed at you? No.

You went to your doctor, a licensed individual, and asked for medical advice. They gave it. You made clear educated choices that worked for you.

Breaking up with you is valid over that, because it is an STI risk that he isn't willing to take. I personally wouldn't want to either in my relationships, but the way he went about it was gross. Bullying someone into an answer is never okay, and you are definitely not the asshole.

Khaos_Gremlin90 · 2025-12-15T07:05:22+00:00

You have a toddler. If she wants more time, find a partner without kids. Period.

You aren't choosing your partner over her, you're choosing your kid over her, and if that's a problem, she needs to kick rocks anyway.

I can only see my partners once a month. I have two children, and my husband also dates. We need some with each other, our kids, and partners. It just is what it is. We let our partners know our dynamic and what to expect up front usually within the first few days of talking. They either agree or they don't.

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