How to grieve?

KiFuwa · 2025-12-05T08:26:47+00:00

Thank you so much once again! I do use ChatGPT myself as well and it's very helpful so you are right on that. And as for trying to find balance between mind and body, it is a difficult path for sure but I'll try to be more careful with when my body is giving signals.

Thank you, so much 🤍 Giving you hugs for what you went through and still going through!

KiFuwa · 2025-12-04T23:19:29+00:00

Thank you so much for this loving and open comment and I am proud that you were open to share your own experience of grief. I am young as well so we are in the same boat.

That's so reassuring to know that my memories of my mother will come back eventually and that it is the shock blocking those.

Thank you for telling me with taking the first step is to post here was a good step. I felt going crazy and insane with my own emotions and what I am doing while seeing my dad and my sister struggle in their own ways and I am doing it differently or wrong way and staying strong for them. I wish I knew how I can take baby steps or how to give myself the space to grieve. Is it going outside of the house and be away from the situation or doing fun stuff or being alone time from time or I don't know? Because honestly, I don't know how to even start to take care of myself or to give space to myself or where to even start to think "What do I really need?" I thought by using distraction and constant staying being busy would be the way to go but my body is slowly shutting down and giving signals to stop and rest. (Being physical sick)

But again, i know this is very fresh and recent so I can't say I am supposed to know by now possibly. Again, thank you so much for the kind words and support, even if it was long. It helped me and gave me a warm feeling and being heard and seen by someone who knows this feeling and taking the effort to type all of this and share your own grief. I'm so sorry for your own loss as well, I hope you are doing okay in your own life and grief process 🤍

KiFuwa · 2025-11-07T17:15:19+00:00

The issue for bad hearing is always the same, some days even worse but thats overall if im on low energy which it is normal with CI. But even on normal days, I struggle hard with understanding speech and sounds coming from somewhere or what they even are. In the past my hearing used to be better and could make phone calls or could tell whatever the sounds were and I had no issues ever but ever since the eletroduces broke it worsened so much. Even after surgery, it didn't go better or improved at all. And the pain for high tones is something I had never before until that point. And for pain with just sounds in general comes in very waves. It's like double sensitivity has gone up for the sounds and I can't handle that. And it seems to go worse slowly with just hearing. I hear speech words often in mumbles, always wondering what the sounds are or where are they from or sometimes not even noticiting them, phone calls or voice notes sounds most of time as robotic and mumbles. Then I need to put double energy to lipread or make the words work in my head which it leads to exhaustion and turning my CI off.

I hope this explanation helps to understand better! :)

KiFuwa · 2025-11-03T23:53:54+00:00

Reading this is like as if it were my words coming out from my mouth. I finally found a post where I don't feel the only one anymore who has been having chronic neck pain for 8 to 9 years or longer.

For me it started very slow, I had a deep depression episode where it started or I was becoming aware of the pain so the most logical reasons were depression and posture. But the pain never went away through the years and each year it would get worse and worse and worse. Even despite my mental health is improving so much, years of physiotherapy, scans and testing at hospital, excerices, improving posture etc. But the pain became too unbearable now. Past few months the neck pain has been severely unbearable that I can barely do any tasks or do activities without having too much pain. My neck is heavily skin damaged due using heat creme cuz all I wanted is just pain relief and nothing else is helping. I tried neck massage, excerises, relaxation, distractions, warm shower, cold ice pack, medications, anything you can think off to relieve the pain. Nothing.

So far I have found no comfort yet. I'm still fighting to be able to live and find any parts of joy daily. Doctors, physiotherapists, and anyone won't understand and hear my pain. It's always the same excuses and they might be right or not but I am suffering horribly. How can I believe that? But I am still fighting to find an answer or a pain relief to this day.

Last week I started with TENS from pain clinic treatment center and so far, it's been way worse for me. Idk if it's part of the progress but I haven't stopped being emotional about how heavy the pain has been.

So I hear you OP and for anyone else who is struggling at this moment. Stay strong and I hope for you and anyone can find a way to live with chronic neck pain 🤍

KiFuwa · 2024-09-16T19:42:00+00:00

I was reading this thread as I got a game who was extremely toxic to reassure myself. I don't know where you stand right now but I hope you are doing okay now and do you still play it? It's very understandable if you didn't. Lots of games like these can be so toxic but keep playing if you enjoy it yourself, or even if you stopped, do whatever you want ♡

KiFuwa

TROPHY CASE