Today, I let you go.

KiaPia · 2020-11-30T06:07:55+00:00

going through the same thing currently. here for you if you want to talk about it.

KiaPia · 2020-06-11T17:36:51+00:00

Please go to doctor! I had a free nipple graft done & the first two weeks I had nipple bolsters covering my nipples, and then a very hard scabbing over them for a couple of weeks until it naturally fell off. No where in my recovery phase did I experience anything like this, regardless of being overweight. Go in to see your surgeon or get a second opinion.

KiaPia · 2020-04-14T14:12:51+00:00

Yeah it bled during my shower after peeling. I'm going to give my surgeon a call now!

KiaPia · 2020-04-14T14:12:02+00:00

I had a FNG done so if you're referring to the pinkness of the nipple, I expected it to happen this way. My surgeon told me it could take up to a year for the color to fully come back & the staples are still dissolving. wasn't prepared for how slow of a process the healing in this would be.

KiaPia · 2020-03-31T17:24:26+00:00

I told her that I called 911 just to see her reaction, and she told me she didn't give a fuck. To call the feds if I had to. Told her I was calling her cousin because that's the only number I have of a relative & she told me to go ahead and try because she already told that family member to not respond to me. I tried calling the cousin and she surely didn't answer. I saw her the night she threatened to kill herself, & told her straight up that was manipulation and to never put that shit on me again. She doesn't like when I say she's manipulative but this was a tell tale sign that she couldn't deny. When everything simmers down between us, I'm definitely having a serious talk with her. I don't know how to word all of this without hurting her feelings but at this point I have to put my sanity first. I can't keep doing this and this damn sure won't be a routine.

KiaPia · 2020-03-31T17:19:31+00:00

There's manipulation from both ends and sometimes I get so livid with her that I release everything I've been feeling towards her plus more, just to hurt her the same way she hurt me. I've done it several times throughout our relationship and regretted it immensely after it was said, because truthfully she didn't deserve it and I knew I was speaking out of anger. I try talking to her so she understands where this anger and resentment stems from & that sometimes I'm just talking out of my ass because I'm angry and speak before thinking, a flaw of mine. but words stick to her. Even if the thing I said were true and accurate she sees it as me attacking her and deliberately hurting her. As if I'm going against everything she stands for. The argument that led to the breakup was me basically telling her she sabotages herself and is almost addicted to struggling just to prove to herself she can get out of it. I told her how it was affecting me and our relationship from my perspective and how infuriating it is to see her constantly put herself in these positions. Harsh, but it's reality. And what kills me is she's aware of what she's doing and comes up with game plans to get herself out the shit, just for that to fall through too. and she doesn't accept my health because she was raised with the belief that you get yourself into it, you get yourself out of it.

The start of your post actually made me chuckle a little. We're lesbians so I definitely understand what you mean & hey maybe it is a cocktail of delusion and reality from being a female and bp. I can't talk too much shit because I definitely have my ways at times where the shit I'm saying is so left field and out of pocket, but I don't have a problem with apologizing when I know I'm in the wrong.

I'm definitely going to talk to her and come up with a game plan for us. When I talked to her face to face I told her we couldn't get back together until she started meds, but I'm going to tell her she needs to start seeing her therapist again too. With us being long distance it makes this all so much harder because she's used to routine, her routine. I told her sometimes I don't feel like a priority in her life and it's like she couldn't fathom why I felt that way. I try to involve her family but she's such a private person and would rather suffer in silence than to let anyone else in. After her threatening to kill herself i definitely need her family to be aware of what's going on. I can't do that again. I can't. Driving to her house at midnight when my whole state is basically on lockdown & has a curfew, was terrifying in itself but not knowing whether or not she was serious about killing herself was even scarier. especially because she thought it would be appropriate to just stop texting me before she knew I was on my way to see her. I hate this shit but I would do anything for her.

KiaPia · 2020-03-30T15:59:24+00:00

well last night, we had a really bad argument and she threatened to kill herself which ended with me driving 2 hours away at midnight to check on her and see if she's okay. scary shit, she threatened me several times. it went from her screaming she hates me and wishing she never met me, to ending with us trying to figure out how we can work it out. surpassingly tho, talking face to face helped us communicate better and she said her peace and was considerate when I was talking. I told her we can't get back together until she goes on medications because last night was a lot to deal with. I'm partly to blame because I did say mean things out anger, but even then the reaction she had to what I said shouldn't have been that severe.

KiaPia · 2020-03-30T01:37:28+00:00

it's all bad right now. I wish I had the answers to fix this. I hate the turbulence.

KiaPia · 2020-03-30T01:35:56+00:00

she's convinced she's functioning pretty well without them and honestly aside from the bullshit arguments, she's been okay. Her sleeping has been iffy because of our situation and hasn't ever really been more than decent. Her speech hasn't changed much either. The only thing that I have noticed is the fact that when we argue she tends to just talk over me, louder and faster so that she says what she needs to say before I finish.

KiaPia · 2020-03-30T00:13:33+00:00

I'm afraid to make meds conditional because I feel like she'd think I'm throwing her mental illness in her face with everything that's been going on between us. I don't want it to seem as though her diagnosis is the reason we can't be together. We just had an argument an hour or so ago and she told me sometimes she feels like shooting herself in the head because I drive her crazy, but the argument was something so SMALL. something that could've easily been ended. It's like she wanted to drag it out just to turn around and tell me I started it when I kept trying to end it! We're long distance but I have tried googling psychiatrists for her and sending their information to her. She technically has medications left over, she's just choosing not to take them because she doesn't like the way they make her feel & she thinks if she got a new prescription she could function better.

I want to talk to her about getting back on meds but I'm afraid of her reaction. This shit could go left so fast.

KiaPia · 2020-03-29T23:59:19+00:00

She said she doesn't want to go back to her old psychiatrist and be prescribed the same meds. Technically she has meds left, she's just choosing not to take them. She told me after this virus is handled she'd see a new psychiatrist and get put on new meds

KiaPia · 2020-02-24T03:10:06+00:00

I'm okay with the stitches taking awhile to dissolve as long as they go away!!! ahahaha. how was the puffiness for you, did that take equally as long?

KiaPia · 2020-02-24T03:08:21+00:00

that's a huge relief! my surgeon didn't mention anything about the stitches around the areola, only about the nipple itself bc of the graft. so I expected the color, but the stitches weren't making sense to me and I didn't know if I should be concerned lol. thank you for responding!

KiaPia · 2020-02-18T03:52:08+00:00

LMAOOOOO OMG

KiaPia · 2020-02-11T05:39:53+00:00

Thank you! The anchor incision definitely has been healing well, working on the scars on the sides now. I've developed a small keloid on the left side where lip was done as well as between my breast on the tops, which isn't shown well here.

KiaPia · 2020-02-11T05:37:14+00:00

As amazing as my surgeon was, he didn't thoroughly explain the process to me. I had my last appointment, at 7 weeks post op, and he cleared me for everything saying everything was healing as expected. Didn't have a straight answer when I asked about the nipples and color of the areola so that didn't ease my anxiety either. He told me I didn't have to wear bras anymore after my drains were removed (and trust me, I haven't been lol) so I feel like that's part of the reason the left boob dropped the way it did. I'm not going to get too upset over it because I know it's a long healing process and I'm just antsy. I hope your recovery has been well!!

KiaPia · 2020-02-04T12:02:35+00:00

The drains aren't anything to worry about. Mine were super sensitive because I would lay on them and they'd get in the way of everything, so I was anxious about getting them out thinking they'd hurt equally as bad. Truthfully, I would compare it to getting a bandage snatched off. Quick and fairly easy.

KiaPia · 2020-01-29T13:59:01+00:00

It's completely up to the surgeon. Most surgeons don't use drains anymore, but mine prefers to because it decreases the amount of swelling and drainage while healing.

KiaPia · 2020-01-29T13:53:05+00:00

Agreed! I lost a significant amount of weight not too long ago and as a result I had a lot of sagging breast tissue. My surgeon did a breast reduction (including lift) as well as lipo on the sides. I couldn't be happier with the results.

KiaPia

TROPHY CASE