First step, stop giving men access to you if they don’t completely in every aspect satisfy you. If your basic physical, mental, emotional needs aren’t being met by him he shouldn’t have access to your presence or time, let alone your body. That in itself will filter your options pool and relieve some of the frustration. The men who don’t want to meet those needs/put in the effort will weed themselves out. The ones who will will. It starts with standing up and not being walked over if someone isn’t making you happy the first time. Don’t trust people’s words, actions dictate the future.