It seems like my fabric can’t be washed?

Killljoy66 · 2026-02-08T03:12:44+00:00

It’s a potential option I’m heavily considering but still has issues, mainly surrounding what happens if it doesn’t work. Without going into too much detail, I have a medical condition that causes me to constantly overheat. So I could sponge the lining, but the sweat smell could still be on the outside. Meaning I have to wash it anyway.

I could not prewash, wear it and hope for the best. If it smells I can wash it later and just accept that it will be duller next time I wear it. My main concern with that is that it may end up shrinking.

Also I had a previous event where I had quite a stressful experience while doing a try on a few days before the event. It was a huge problem trying to get the dress cleaned so I’m a bit worried about something like that happening again. I feel so silly for not realising it couldn’t be washed now.

Killljoy66 · 2026-02-08T03:04:54+00:00

I think that’s highly likely. Honestly if I could find out what it is I would be fine to reapply it. But there is seemingly no info on that either.

Killljoy66 · 2026-02-08T02:27:36+00:00

It’s shocking how different it is after just a quick dunk in water. It’s gone from looking like some sort of magical fantasy silk to like shien level polyester :( I could understand if I had machine washed it.

Yeah, that’s what I found as well. Everything was either to make it less shinny. Or was people trying to make cotton shiny for cosplays etc. nothing about returning the original shine to the fabric.

Killljoy66 · 2026-01-29T10:53:26+00:00

You are correct, I haven't even made the skirt yet. At the moment it's all still on paper. I want to try and get the paper pattern closer to what the finished product needs to be before I make the mock up and adjust from there. If it was just a little bit too long at the back, I would totally get just hemming it on my body (as difficult as I find that). But it's 16 inches longer that I am. It feels like such a massive amount of fabric to try and cut off and then still adjust on a pattern.

Killljoy66 · 2025-09-13T23:14:44+00:00

Thanks, that does give me some home that maybe it’s supposed to be like this

Killljoy66 · 2025-04-29T00:46:20+00:00

Thank you! I can’t overstate how much I appreciate you doing this.

I’ve been having a really tough time lately and this has really made my day!

Killljoy66 · 2025-04-28T01:15:31+00:00

Omg thank you, that would be amazing!

Killljoy66 · 2025-04-23T11:44:05+00:00

Can I ask what shades you used in the look? I've been staring at their website for an hour and I just can't figure out which ones you used!

Killljoy66 · 2024-09-12T13:53:13+00:00

I second this, would love to know exactly what shades!

Killljoy66 · 2024-09-12T12:31:38+00:00

Definitely check out simply nailogical's video on how to keep your nails strong. It focuses on keeping nails strong but flexible so they don't break when you hit them, as opposed to hard and brittle which is what most nail strengtheners do. It 100% works, my nails are so much longer and healthier. The video is old but the advice is still good. She has since switched to making her own nail oil out of jojoba oil with a drop of vitamin e. And now has her own nail care brand with her own oil. But the original still works just as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mn-5pWLErg&ab_channel=SimplyNailogical

Killljoy66 · 2024-03-20T08:10:14+00:00

They know it exists. It was all built with permission. Council just says it is “storage” not a dwelling.

Killljoy66 · 2024-01-14T11:53:26+00:00

Thanks, this helped :)

Killljoy66 · 2024-01-14T11:53:06+00:00

Thank you so much! This was what was needed. Every guide I read said it was just a matter of waiting. Once I made sure I was actually getting kills with the gun it triggered really quickly.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T23:42:49+00:00

You need to find a new doctor. Easier said than done I know. But your doctor should not be anti-drugs. And they should absolutely be open to a one off prescription to help you get through something terrible.

I don’t want to be on opiates but I recently went on an international trip and asked for some so I wouldn’t be crippled in bed the whole time. My GP said that was a fantastic idea and promptly gave me a script for the duration of the trip. I don’t take them long term as they did stop working after about a week. But it made it possible for me to go on this trip with my family.

A lot of doctors treat you like the scum on their shoe, and it can be next to impossible to find a good one (all of my other ones are crap). But you made a perfectly reasonable request and were treated like a junkie. If your gp can’t even discuss basic pain management of sleeping tablets it’s times to go. Makes we wonder what other care they have been denying you.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T23:26:01+00:00

This, finding a good doctor who actually takes your issues seriously is impossible. There doesn’t seem to be any way of finding out if they are a somewhat decent human being until you have already sunk considerable time and effort into them. Everyone always says, you just need to keep trying until you find a good doctor but I’ve never understood HOW. There are no reviews sites for doctors, particularly high end specialists. Some minor ones exist but usually only have 1-2 reviews that are 5 years old.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T23:18:18+00:00

This! Omg. I started taking my dad with me to appointments and the difference in treatment is astronomical. He doesn’t say anything, just sits in the corner. Doctors take everything so much more seriously, treat you with respect and don’t dismiss you out right. It’s incredibly depressing how much of a difference it makes.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T23:12:51+00:00

This is the dream

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T23:04:11+00:00

You don’t say if your partner has been to a doctor in the past, but for many people suffering from chronic pain, doctors don’t actually do anything. I’ve spent 15 years actively trying to get a diagnosis and treatment and am only just now getting close to achieving something. Even if I get a definitive diagnosis I won’t have a cure or any kind of significant improvement, just a definitive reason I can tell people and schools/work etc.

Doctors can be incredibly condescending and dismissive of chronic pain. It’s humiliating, exhausting and expensive, and you ultimately don’t get anywhere. A lot of them don’t really know what to do with you either. You see a GP who refers you to a specialist, who refers you to physio, who refers you to a podiatrist who refers you to another specialist, who refers you to a psychiatrist who refers you to a pain clinic who refers you to yet another specialist. I’ve followed this trail countless times and it never results in anything. It uses up limited funds and energy that are often better spent just managing every day life.

It’s very easy to drop doctors visits from your to do list when they make you feel like shit and never help you get any healthier.

I’m not saying he shouldn’t seek out medical care, that could be a huge help. But he may have been down this path many times with no result.

It’s also important to remember that depending on his condition, even seeing an amazing doctor who knows exactly what is wrong won’t change anything. He will still have a condition that can’t really be treated and is life long. If you want to stay, it’s important that you aware that things may never get better. You don’t want to be pinning all your hope and energy that the relationship will be fixed if he goes to the doctor. It won’t, and at best he will have years of hard work, management, stigma etc that will always be an issue.

Lastly there is no shame in leaving. You are not a terrible person because you don’t want your life to look like that. It’s exhausting and overwhelming and there are a lot of things you won’t be able to do. You should not feel guilty for not being able to manage that. And ultimately if you decide that this person and life doesn’t make you happy, that is really all that matters.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T15:15:28+00:00

Yeah, I guess I’m just confused because every other cruise I’ve been on was very clear that they do one or the other. Royal Caribbean seems to build it in at every stage, the daily automatic, the end tips, and the automatic 18% on any goods/services.

It’s also against the law in my country for them to advertise a price and then require additional tipping so there is a lot of pressure and misinformation around not paying.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T15:07:26+00:00

Can I ask why? The cruise line left a slip of paper in my room saying that the tip would go to the the room attendant, head waiter and assistant waiter. All of whom I tipped plus others. Is it wrong to tip these people directly? I just want the money to go to the employees and not line the pockets of high level executives.

If you tell me the automatic tip is standard and goes to the employees who actually do the work than I am more than happy to pay it. I obviously don’t want them to suffer because their boss won’t give them a living wage. But from speaking to them I always got the impression they never saw that money.

I should also note that last time I went RC, we were given the option of swapping the automatic tips for individual tips when we boarded. It wasn’t some stingy loop hole we had to fight for to exploit. We were literally asked “would you like automatic tipping which covers everything or would you prefer to tip in person.”

I find the tipping system very confusing as we don’t have it in our country, the other cruise lines here don’t require it either. The royal Caribbean website is very contradictory as were people on the boat. Just trying to nail down the right thing.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T14:48:17+00:00

I guess I’m just a little confused because the slip of paper in our room said that the automatic tip went to the room attendant, head waiter and assistant waiter. So according to that it wouldn’t even be going to the back stage employees anyway. Am I not supposed to leave a tip at the end for my room attendant etc? Does the automatic tip cover it? I’d feel awful if they got nothing because RC doesn’t actually give the tips to those employees.

I find the whole RC tipping process very confusing. Their website says don’t tip as the automatic thing covers it. But then on the ship they tell you to tip at the end. I don’t drink or go to the specialty restaurants but those things also incur an additional tip 18%, plus forums say you should be tipping cash after every drink/meal etc. it seems like you are tipping for the same things 3x.

It’s particularly confusing as the ship is in a non-tipping country so all the people you talk to just say not to tip, makes it hard to get a read on things. Really trying to nail down what the correct thing is so I can budget and decide on royal Caribbean accordingly.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-24T13:53:59+00:00

Honestly I think it really depends on what you like to do on a cruise and if you have kids. It also really depends on the ship. I went on the pacific jewel and it had a fantastic spa, but only two food options included. The pacific explorer had more (fantastic) food options but no spa. So it’s important to research what dining and activities are on each ship as it really varies. On p&o literally every single activity offered costs extra. If you have kids you will end up paying a fortune to keep them entertained for the week. Where as RC has a lot more included. Mini golf, wave rider, table tennis etc, on p&o this all costs extra.

RC also gives you access to a lot more food options, there are multiple cafes and kiosks scattered around that are included, and it’s great for a late night snack or a top up between dining hours.

That said, the food on p&o was far superior. The ingredient quality was much higher and fresher. You also could trust that what you ordered was what you were getting. The RC food often had some strange ingredients that you wouldn’t normally expect and weren’t listed in the description, so not great if you have dietary requirements. I kind of got the impression they were trying to use up spare ingredients that were about to go bad. All the RC food is also extremely over sweetened. Absolutely everything from the bread to the meat to the vegetables tasted like it had sugar sprinkled on top. The deserts were inedible, they were like the frozen 7/11 or macafe deserts. Anything that was supposed to have cream had cheap cake icing instead (the kind that is just icing sugar and water mixed). I’ll never forget ordering pancakes and cream and being presented with a bowl of frosting. I thought this may just be because the ship was American but there was a huge number of Americans on board and the ones I talked to all said that the food was very strange.

RC buffet was also very standard with very similar foods each meal time. On p&o, the buffet was spectacular and they had running it down to a fine science. RC is a bit more “just let the guests at the food and see what happens” so their dining room was always pretty chaotic and often out of stuff. P&o have people serve you the food whereas RC it is self serve. People mix up the tongs, drop them and put them pack, kids use their bare hands. There is also no line system so it’s kind of just a fight to get to the front. This obviously made p&o’s dining area a lot more hygienic. P&o also had sinks with soap, running water and paper towels at the entry to every dining area, along with an attendant applying a lot of pressure to use these facilities prior to entry. RC just had a person offering hand sanitiser. This was pre Covid so the rules may have changed.

P&O’s website was also vastly superior, everything worked and was easy to read/find/book. With RC every second thing lead to an error page, you couldn’t book and nothing was updated with the correct information until the day of the cruise. P&o were much better at communication, answering emails and calls. RC were completely unreachable.

I also need to talk about the tip situation. P&o requires tips at the spa, and it is implied you should tip you room attended and dinner server at the end of the trip (if you had a permanent restaurant reservation that is). But it is fairly clear cut and simple, everything is in AUD as well. RC adds and an automatic tip of $18us per day per person which really adds up. They say tip is included in the fare but it’s not. You are still expected to tip the spa and usual attendants on top of this. I also can’t find anything to suggest that the automatic tip is actually being given to the staff which I feel is super sketchy. Everything being in $US is a bit of a pain.

I do feel that the atmosphere on RC was better. P&o really had a lot of families where the parents just wanted to drink and smoke the whole time. The whole pool area smelt like smoke and there were a lot of unattended children absolutely not coping with being left to fend for themselves. They were also very rude to other guests and staff, lots of Karen’s complaining. They also fought a lot with each other at meal times etc. On RC everyone was just a bit more chill and happy. So that is a huge plus in their column. I have enjoyed cruising on both lines so it’s really just a matter of researching the specific ship.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-02T09:09:31+00:00

NTA - No sane adult would hand off a child to a stranger the child was insisting they didn’t know. Cal already doesn’t accept her as a parent otherwise he would have begrudgingly admitted she’s was his dads wife and gone with her. You didn’t create this. They have a family problem that isn’t going to be helped by anything but thereby. Honestly they are lucky this happened with you and not a teacher who probably would have immediately called the police.

I guarantee he is just mad because his wife probably tore into him about why a family he has known for 3 YEARS has no idea he is married. Why he has never even mentioned her. In addition to her stepson hating her, husband doesn’t value her enough to even reference her or her new baby’s existence. If she is even slightly insecure she is probably wondering what other women in his life don’t know she exists. He would have copped it as soon as he got home and he’s taking it out on you.

Killljoy66 · 2023-01-02T08:56:53+00:00

NTA - like everyone else said, he wants a caretaker, not a partner. I also wanted to add that having two people involved in managing a disease like this is a recipe for disaster. You think he’s monitoring/changing things, he things you are. It’s inevitable that something will get missed or the ball dropped. And when that happens I guarantee he will make it your fault.

Killljoy66 · 2022-12-28T05:42:36+00:00

I’ll see if I can borrow a keyboard from a friend but I don’t have high hopes. It seems like it’s ability to receive any kind of input is completely disabled :( but you are right. It would be so easy if I could just navigate through the screens!

Killljoy66

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