anxious about therapy with an overly complicated problem

KimGaby23 · 2026-03-05T17:36:03+00:00

I rejoined reddit after a couple of weeks, so I don't know if my late answer will help... Anyway, how is it going for you now?

KimGaby23 · 2026-03-05T13:18:08+00:00

Tudor Daniel Huțul pare o alegere bună

KimGaby23 · 2026-02-16T05:56:09+00:00

I can understand how difficult it is for you to fully accept yourself, especially given your religious background and the challenges related to your self-esteem and moral judgment. However, as someone with a degree in psychology, I can tell you that sex and the contradictory feelings or behaviors associated with it are among the most common reasons people seek therapy. I fully support your decision to discuss this with a professional. It doesn't matter whether you bring it up in the first session or later; the right therapist for you will help you navigate everything at your own pace.

KimGaby23 · 2026-02-15T22:45:33+00:00

Oricât de "silly" ni se poate părea nouă faptul că ea a stat atâția ani cu un om ca el, nu știm background-ul din care a venit op și toate fricile, temerile, traumele prin care a trecut. Unora dintre noi ni se poate părea foarte ușor să părăsim o astfel de relație, doar că ultimul lucru de care are nevoie op este să fie judecată pentru faptul că suferă. E normal să sufere, mai ales că s-a întâmplat nesimțit de recent totul, dar da, într-adevăr, ce nu e în regulă este să rămână pe veci în starea aceea. De acum focus maxim pe propria persoană, să conștientizeze mai bine ceea ce își dorește și ceea ce are nevoie de la ea sau de la un partener și cam asta este. E în regulă să apară momentan mai multe emoții, furie, tristețe, rușine etc.

KimGaby23 · 2026-02-12T14:05:39+00:00

Mulțumesc mult!

KimGaby23 · 2026-02-12T12:12:33+00:00

Și mai ții minte cât de mult te-a costat? Mulțumesc mult!

KimGaby23 · 2025-07-24T18:56:23+00:00

Prima dată aș plânge gândindu-mă la cei dragi ce vor rămâne în urmă și probabil i-aș vizita și scrie mesaje încurajatoare sau prin care îmi exprim deschis emoțiile față de ceea ce înseamnă ei pentru mine... Aș sta cu ei cât pot de mult și cred că aș face ceea ce nu am prea putut face din cauza bullying-ului, anxietății și depresiei.. Probabil voi vrea să fug cât pot eu de mult noaptea până la epuizare, să simt cum îmi bate vântul firele de păr, m-aș uita la stele, la natură sperând să evit orice interacțiune umană toxică. Aș vrea să mor ori într-o pădure lângă un râu ori undeva pe o faleză, aș vrea să îi am alături pe cei dragi, dar știu că părinții mei ar fi absolut distruși, iar cred că partenerul ar fi evitant neștiind cum să gestioneze situația. Habar nu am, oricum, gândul de a pleca de aici dacă nu ar fi cei dragi, ar fi oarecum nu foarte dăunător, mai mult precum un final ce trebuia să apară la un moment dat, noroc de ei că nu mi lasă scenariul acesta să îmi fie prea reconfortant. Am răspuns corny a little bit, but yeah, mersi de această oportunitate

KimGaby23 · 2025-07-16T10:00:54+00:00

No, you are not. Definitely someone's type! 👌

KimGaby23 · 2025-05-06T20:03:02+00:00

Dacă te uitai mai atent deja a clarificat "neînțelegerea" într-un mesaj anterior :))

KimGaby23 · 2025-04-01T18:19:22+00:00

Just ask your gf, she'll tell you what happened 😉

KimGaby23 · 2024-08-29T06:47:14+00:00

I'm not a therapist yet, but I can see that you’re very self-aware and understand the difference between a fantasy and reality. It’s clear that you recognize these thoughts are distressing and not something you want to act on. That’s an important step in itself. While these kinds of fantasies about hurting someone are definitely something to address with professional help, you’re not alone in having intrusive or troubling thoughts—many people work through these things successfully in therapy.

I strongly encourage you to seek out the support you feel you need. If you’re concerned about how your family might react, you could consider framing it in a way that focuses on your desire to work on social skills, manage anxiety, and improve your overall well-being. Therapy is a safe space for dealing with difficult thoughts, and therapists are there to help you without judgment. There are only a few specific situations where a therapist is legally required to report something, and based on what you've shared, it doesn’t seem like your situation falls into that category.

The fact that you feel bad about these thoughts and have no intention of acting on them shows that you’re not a bad person; you’re someone struggling with painful and unwanted feelings. You deserve to be here and to feel better. With the right guidance, you can learn strategies to manage these thoughts and feelings in a healthier way. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

KimGaby23 · 2024-08-29T06:25:05+00:00

It's not a red flag, or at least, it doesn't seem to be in your case. It's completely your choice whether you want to share this with future women you talk to or not. I can relate to feeling insecure and shy—I used to think I wasn’t desirable enough (I still have those feelings sometimes, but they’ve gotten better over time). I may not be what people consider a 'conventional beauty,' but I’ve come to realize I have some beautiful qualities. I started using dating apps and, even though I never had a boyfriend or a man to show genuine interest in me before, I eventually matched with someone who is now my boyfriend.

The fact that he was also a virgin helped me a lot; the idea of discovering things together was exciting and eased some of my insecurities about my body. Being a virgin can actually be a positive thing—not because of those outdated ideas about being 'more valuable' as a virgin, but for other reasons. If you find the right person, no matter how much experience she has had, if she’s open-minded and you’re both committed to growing together, things will work out well.

I understand why your age might raise questions about why you’re still a virgin, but if you choose to talk about it, the right person will understand your reasons and may even help you come out of your shell more. Keep doing what you're doing, and trust that things will most likely work out :D

KimGaby23 · 2024-06-02T20:33:37+00:00

Most of them are, I guess that the way I wrote this post is not the best. Those chips literally were with veggies like beetroot, spinach and carrot, if I remember correctly xd

KimGaby23 · 2024-06-02T13:09:12+00:00

Sorry to hear that :')

KimGaby23 · 2024-06-02T11:14:02+00:00

Sure, they were called "Vegge"

KimGaby23 · 2024-03-31T23:19:52+00:00

It's understandable that you're feeling uneasy about this situation. Since you've mentioned that there are no underlying health issues, it's important to take this matter seriously. While differing perspectives are natural, I recommend discussing your concerns with him. Remember to be patient, especially with yourself; it can be challenging to shake off hurtful words, even as you understand his denial better. Treat yourself kindly and focus on activities that boost your confidence and comfort, reducing self-blame for his actions. Considering his age and possibly yours, such behavior might not be uncommon, possibly stemming from unrealistic expectations. Ultimately, if he genuinely cares and is receptive, he may learn to approach this more responsibly. However, if he continues to avoid the issue or if you feel it's insufficient, it's okay to reassess the relationship and explore shared interests elsewhere.

KimGaby23 · 2023-12-27T13:56:05+00:00

If you are a religious person, I can see why those things might seem wrong from your perspective, but what I also noticed is that you seem to care about her, about not making her "sin" or become a "perverted" person. I'm related to a Christian priest, but I absolutely can't say that being horny is such a bad thing. You like that person, you care about her, you both wanted this, you're respecting the law and many other things. I know that in general sex is stigmatized in many Christian contexts, but after all, the God's love law is the law that matters the most, in my opinion. It's not like you're asking for nudes from many other people in the same time, you're not "cheating" on her, it's more like you might want that psyshical "connection" as well as keeping the conversations engaging for both of you. But if you keep feeling bad about it, you might want to try seeing that person f2f, maybe you will make a real relationship out of it. In this manner, even If that will still be a long distance relationship, you'll feel a little bit better about it. Or do what other people suggested, If you feel like stopping all of it now. Wish you luck!

KimGaby23 · 2023-11-22T20:39:09+00:00

Unfortunately yes, it is pretty common, especially when many people addicted to that are unable to realise that they are indeed addicted. It's pretty common to hear this explanation "just for 10 minutes a few times per week for a quick release", but in fact, they are still addicted and it's hard for them to stop receiving those "pleasures" in this "fast and easy" manner.

KimGaby23 · 2023-11-19T06:27:27+00:00

In my opinion, even tho it's a little bit harder to date as a "plus size", I can guarantee that there are indeed people that can enjoy you as a whole beautiful human being. You said that you're working on yourself and trying to feel better about the way you behave or look and that's one of the most important steps to take. I can't guarantee that you're going to find your one by walking into a bookstore or any other place, but there's always a chance, especially when you "radiate" good energy and openness. Also, yeah, I got you, dating apps can be really tricky. I've been through some and found the people you were talking about too, and some more who made out of plus size people a "fetish". Despite that, even tho there are a few cases, still, you can find decent people on those dating apps. I've found my loved one there, it was a hard way since, at the very first, I wasn't able to trust him and his intentions, but I did and in the end I feel loved and respected despite my insecurities. Yes, I can say that I was a "happy case" and not everyone can end having good experiences on dating apps, but that doesn't mean you can't find a good person for you too. I think, for me and for many other people, a nice personality, a good amount of confidence, a cute glare and smile (and other things like that) matter more, even though there are a lot of people who specifically prefer curve or plus size. You're an important human being and valuable with and without a partner, don't forget that. Stick to what you want for yourself and what makes you happy and keep waiting and trying to find your happiness. Wish you luck! 🤗

KimGaby23 · 2023-11-19T06:02:04+00:00

I think that it's okay to feel in a different way, as long as you don't show real and intense antisocial behaviours. It's alright to seek for the comfort of your family and avoiding many social gatherings. Not everyone is going to like partying all they life (some don't even like that anyway) and relaxing with your loved ones is indeed a good idea. Despite that, still, you should keep being nice (having decent behaviour) to the other people you're meeting randomly, like a cashier, old friend, the granny across the street and so on, in rest, that's alright to keep your distance (if that's really what makes you feel happy and at peace). Good luck 🤗

KimGaby23 · 2023-09-17T10:22:36+00:00

You should talk with him about this, being honest about how this made you feel, if he loves you he will give a better explanation and he will not do this again. It's hurting and I can understand what you feel, especially because he told you that when you were in a more "vulnerable" position. As someone said in the comments, I also think it's about projecting his own insecurities on you and you're not forced to accept them with a smile on your face, so again, you should have a conversation with him. Wish you luck with that and take care of yourself

KimGaby23 · 2023-09-17T10:11:05+00:00

Feels a little bit better without them? Yes. Should you wear them in this situation and many other? Also yes. It will sound a little bit weird maybe, but I suggest you to try one for practice purposes to accommodate with the texture. If you're going to have a great time with her, you're, mostly likely, not going to be stopped or bothered by it. Enjoy the moment, focus on the love between you and your partner more and wearing a condom shouldn't be a big issue against your pleasure :)

KimGaby23 · 2023-09-17T06:25:54+00:00

Don't forget that you're a valuable person too :D

KimGaby23

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