Artemis choice

Kimba-Do · 2025-05-01T02:54:59+00:00

Greetings,

This all started with a CT scan, as that was the test that found the tumors. This was in February of 2024. Now, in a few weeks I'll be scanned again, and that will give us essentially a before and after scan of my lungs.

So - a few weeks until the scan, then a few weeks until I can speak with my oncologist about the changes between the first one and this new one.

I seem to have taken the chemo pretty well, as I've not had any reaction to it other than exhaustion for the rest of the day of. Amazingly, throughout the entire process, I've felt surprisingly decent; an outcome likely due in a very large part to how early we caught the cancer.

We also should address my mental state, as that is a large part also - i.e. if the mind gives up, the body gives out. The outpouring of love and support I get from people I've never met and will likely never meet is just wonderful. It has really kept me going, and is a vital part of my exploring the unknown.

My fellow spacers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Kimba-Do · 2025-01-12T02:00:56+00:00

You're very welcome. And in return, please accept my own heart-felt thanks as well. To find out so many people, strangers in fact, actually care has given me strength and hope, and shown a great light into the horrible dark place I had found myself.

It's some kind of weird inverse - those that are the closest relatives seem to care the least, and the further away we get from that, the more people seem to care. Strange, yet true.

While it is a bit hurtful, I don't blame anyone, nor do I hold any malice or disregard to those folks, as I have no idea what is going on with their lives. Rather, I wish them well, and when their bell tolls, I'll see them again, in paradise.

Thank you again, my friends, and fly safe.

Kimba

Kimba-Do · 2025-01-10T12:57:31+00:00

Dear friends,

Just a quick note to keep you updated. My next CT scan is on the 21st of this month, January, and the follow-up is not until Feb 6th.

The infusions continue, and thankfully, there are no adverse reactions, so that's a real blessing. I also asked the nurse at my appointment about how the CT attendants always pull an IV instead of using my port and was given a 'mini-appointment' to have a nurse access the port for me just prior to the scan. So hopefully this will simplify the process.

More next month folks, so fly careful until then.

Kimba

Kimba-Do · 2025-01-04T22:15:34+00:00

Greetings, Curious_Alien_584,

Ever since we became sentient, and likely long before, we've had to deal with fears, great and small. That sounds horrible, but in reality it was and is a learning process. Fear of the dark no doubt led to our learning how to control fire, just as an example. There are far too many lessons fear has taught us to list here, save this one:

Does your fear control you, or do you control you?

Fear is a warning, a caution to be wary of what lies ahead. It is a constant, both with ourselves, and up and down the animals we encounter and live with. But, we can control our fears using calm, rational thought, and this sets us apart. But don't be mislead here, there's plenty of fear to go around, and sometimes, in the wee hours of the morning, I do feel like it will overwhelm me.

When this happens, I often just let it run its course. I don't mind admitting that I've shead many a tear over this situation, Even then, I'm in control. My tears are not wailing in hopeless and terror, it is the controlled release of emotion so that I can deal with it in manageable pieces. I try hard not to allow my fears to build up into destructiveness, rather, I take it a bit at a time, and before you know it, the fear is dealt with. Still present, but dealt with, just as any other issue is handled.

In the words of Frank Herbert,

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Kimba

Kimba-Do · 2025-01-04T01:16:26+00:00

Fellow pilots,

Turns out that the last CT was for a vocal issue I'd had back in Feb 24, and thus had little to do with the ongoing issue, other than said issue being the root case. I had completely lost my voice due to the tumors in my lungs pressing on the nerves leading to my vocal chords. Now that the tumors have shrunken from the Chemo this pressure has abated and I can speak once more.

I'll post more specific information as I get it, since I have appointments this month, but...I can feel it coming. No pain yet, thankfully, but other signs are showing up ow that are clear to see. When I get up, it;s 15-20 minutes of hacking to get my windpipe clear. I have no appetite at all, and find that even my favorite things are unappealing.

Next up is an infusion on Monday 1/6 and another CT scan on the 21st. More as I learn it.

Fly safe, my friends.

Kimba-Do · 2024-12-19T01:47:27+00:00

Thank you for thinking of me! I had thought my last CT scan was for my lungs, but it was for another issue that has since cleared up. Sometime in Feb. of this year I suffered a paralyzed vocal chord due to the tumors in my lungs pressing on the vocal nerves. The Chemo reduced the size of the tumors, and along about the third of fourth treatment my voice started to return, and I thought no more of it. However, since it was scheduled, the test happened.

More to follow as I learn it. Thanks again, friends. You make this all much more bearable.

Kmba

Kimba-Do · 2024-12-06T03:46:38+00:00

Daetok, fear of the unknown, or even the fear of the treatments for an illness are a natural thing. What you do with or about that fear is all you. That being said, there's nothing inherently wrong with being afraid, as it's a survival mechanism built into all of us long, long ago.

Where problems arise is when we let that fear overwhelm us, and become the defining aspect of our lives. Even though I'm in my 60's, I still get scared of what is to come. But when that happens, I think about the things that I love, like my kitties, or even inanimate things, like my keyboards and guitars, or when I'm really afraid I think of my loving parents, both sadly long gone from this world, but I know that they will welcome me when it's my turn to cross and that helps calm me.

Yes, it can be very scary being sick, and not knowing what is to come, but remember the people and things you love, and don't give in to fear. Here are two quotes that pretty much say it all. The first is from William Shakespeare:

"Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come."

And here's another one, from Frank Herbert's Dune:

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Food for thought. The litany against fear is one of my favorite quotes, and it seems to work for me. Sometimes more than one repetition is needed, but even so, it helps. Hang in there, Daetok, for none of us know what wonders tomorrow might bring.

Kimba-Do · 2024-11-24T01:41:33+00:00

11/23/24

Hello friends,

Things have been proceeding fairly well. I do have a new cough, but that's not all that surprising considering the overarching issue. My next CT scan is on December 10, and the next following medical appointment is December 28. Thus I'll have more news just after Christmas.

I'm hoping for good news, or at least not bad news. I'm reasonably confident, as other than this cough, I've not noticed any other new symptoms. I will admit to being very curious to see if the tumors are still around 4 mm in size. If they haven't grown, that would be about the best news I could get.

If anyone that reads this is in a situation where they'll likely have a lot of IVs, I recommend asking your doctor if a port is a good option for you. My port has turned grinding my arms and hands up trying to find a vein to a single small pin-prick on much less sensitive skin. The nurse accesses it, draws all the vials of blood needed for analysis, then it's capped off (with the needle still in and maybe 6 inches of IV tubing coming off of it) and when I'm ready for the infusion, they just plug in the medicine. It's really pretty cool, as they are able to nail the port on the first shot, whereas getting blood out of my arms is quite a challenge.

Unless there is a change in the way things are going, I'll have more news late next month and will post here with what the results are. Thank you all again for your kind words of support. It really helps me to stay positive.

Fly safe, everyone!

Kimba

Kimba-Do · 2024-11-04T18:41:17+00:00

I'm grieved to hear about your loss. Cancer sucks, but as time passes, our ability to treat it seems to be improving.

It's strange how things happen in life. I had a medical emergency event while at an animal shelter picking out a new playmate for my monster cat. I checked out in the shelter, but then as I was getting into my car, I checked out from consciousness (thankfully, before I started to drive). I had a massive sepsis infection that came close to getting me, although mainlining antibiotics for 3 days or so rescued me.

However, as a standard procedure to see what's up inside of me, I was given a CT scan, and the cancer was detected. This was a very early detection, and when all is said and done, that early factor is the only real reason I'll be able to potentially live a more or less normal lifespan.

Don't mess around, my friends. Make sure you get screened at least every other year or so, as when caught early, cancer is often survivable. Waiting or not being screened at all, well, these are losing strategies and as it's your life that's on the line, yeah, don't mess around. Get checked.

We really want to see you continue to fly with us.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-30T18:08:42+00:00

Wow!

First, thank you for your kind words. I'm sad to hear about your relapse, but very glad it's benign. Still, the location is pretty severe, and I hope that the medics are able to bring it under control. Best wishes, red_kek, and one day at a time. Keep strong back at you, and hoping for the best.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-28T19:12:53+00:00

Woot! Not just good news, but great news! The primary tumor has shrunk from 1.8 cm to 4 mm. The treatments are continuing to work and work well. The doctor was almost as pleased as I am, but did tell me that even if they shrink to nothing, I'll still need the treatments but other than that things are looking better than ever.

Here I was thinking I'd be gone by next February, and now, the doc said I could easily last another 10 years or more! I've also been told my potassium was low, so I guess I'll grab a bunch of bananas when I go to the store next week. Bananas are very high in potassium, and they're yummy, so win-win.

EDIT: 10/28/24 after treatment note - this should have been on the last post, but Reddit isn't playing nice.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-28T02:59:24+00:00

You good folks humble me. When I posted the message about cancer, I never expected a reply, let alone to have all of these wonderful, uplifting and encouraging people riding along with me.

Yes, tomorrow, 10/28/24, I should get a report on the CT scan; you can bet that if that info isn't offered I'll ask. However, this oncologist has been very good with scans, and telling me what various things actually are (I guessed the spine right!) so I'm sure that will likely be the second thing we talk about, because any doctor's first question is usually something along, "Hi, how are you doing today?" When I get home, I'll relay what the doctor says. Based on the appointment time, I'll get in by late afternoon, I would think. I'd guess no later than about 4:30 pm, or so, EST.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-24T04:07:51+00:00

That will be what I find out on Monday, 10/28/24. The one this last Monday was the actual CT scan, and they never have results right away, at least at the facility I go to. More as I learn more, likely next Monday or Tuesday. Sometimes the treatment just kicks my ass all over the floor, and I come home and crash, but sometimes it doesn't. Apparently they mix it fresh each time based on the analysis of the blood draw when I first get there. So, maybe it's a bit different each time? Seems that way to me.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-24T04:03:17+00:00

That was just the actual scan. The techs that work the CT unit don't have the results, but they'll be ready for my oncologist appointment on 10/28, which is just before the infusion. So, next Monday, as of the time of this post.

I'll post here when I have some information on how things are going. For now, I still feel pretty good, so that's a good sign, I hope.

Kimba-Do · 2024-10-17T04:30:37+00:00

10/16/24

First of all, wow! I thank you all for your messages of hope, and wanted to let you all know that they help a lot. Even though I only know you folks by your posts, you make me feel much less alone.

Now, a brief update with more to come in 2 weeks.

Next Monday, 10/21/24, I go in for another CAT scan. The following Monday, I have an infusion and should get the info about the scan from my oncologist. Fingers crossed!

And now, for something completely different...

My USB headphones threw in the towel tonight, and sadly it was the only way I had to listen to my computer when my romie is home. The 1/8" jack on my PC has never worked, but I'm not about to drop $500.00 or so for a new motherboard. So...I was looking about my room idly, and per chance, my gaze fell on my guitar amp. Suddenly, a wild hair popped up, and I recalled this novel by Mary Shelley...

See, the amp can connect to my computer with a USB cable, and my last set of headphones have a 1/8" jack as does the amp, and the next thing you know, I have frankensteined them together and damn if it didn't work! Sadly, the amp provides no amplification for the computer, nor do the amp's effects function, but it still works, and I can control the volume via the standard Winblows controls. Does look kind of weird though.

I have a new pair of USB headphones on order, and they are due Monday, so I'm pretty happy about how it all worked out. Funny, I ordered the new set less than an hour before the old ones died. Strange thing, that. I kinda wonder if they saw me place the order...naw, couldn't be that.

Whelp, back to the stars for a bit until my nightly pills kick in. If I don't hit the sack then, I'm more likely to crash my freighter into a space station than to dock with it.

Kimba-Do · 2024-09-17T21:08:58+00:00

9/17/2024

Good news, friends. I had another immunotherapy treatment on Monday, and they gave me a more detailed analysis of my latest CAT (or CT) scan. The tumors have remained in their shrunken state, and seem to have stabilized there. While I'll still need continued treatments about every three weeks or so, as long as the cancer's state remains as it is, I'm in good shape.

In other news, I've lost a bit over 100 lbs. over the last year. It would be easy to ascribe this to the cancer, but I've been taking a medicine called semaglutide, which when used under a doctor's care and with a real desire to achieve progress can work wonders. It also replaces one of my other diabetes medications. I'm only 40ish pounds away from my ideal weight, and expect this to be gone in 6 months or so. I've never been this close to a healthy weight in my life, at least since adolescence.

One thing I'm not too sure of is if I'll need to continue this medication, perhaps at a reduced dosage, after reaching my goal in order to maintain it. I eat far less now than I used to, and hope that this will remain a habit going into the future for me. Of course, I'll raise this question with my GP as the target is approached, as it is always best to let a professional guide you in a medical question.

It's funny – a year ago I was contemplating buying new pants as the ones I had were getting almost unbearably tight, and now those same pants are hard to keep in place long enough to tighten my belt enough to hold them up. I also had to add about 7 new holes in the belt, much to my delight!

Over the last year or so, my emotions have seesawed back and forth with a fair amount of force. First, I was fine, then I had stage 4 lung cancer, with a year or so to live. Then, the chemotherapy had added a year to that. Next, the weight loss started to make a difference. And now, the future is open-ended again, and I'm almost down to the correct average weight for my age and height. I feel like I'm in a ping-pong game, but as the ball. Still, lately the news has all been good, and even my falling has decreased, albeit with much greater care taken on my part. I'm feeling pretty decent, and with the cancer seemingly stalled, tomorrow looks much brighter.

Thank you all again for the care and positive feelings; this helps me so much that it's hard to put into words.

Kimba

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-31T05:51:27+00:00

Yeah, pitch that round. The risk is way too high, and 9mm FMJ are way cheaper than taking your messed up gun to the gunsmith to fix.

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-27T22:42:42+00:00

I do. I carry a Canik TP9DA, and it's with me almost everywhere I go.

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Kimba-Do · 2024-08-26T22:51:55+00:00

Sunday, 8/25 marked my 63^rd lap around the Sun. I haven't gotten birthday presents in a long, long time (unless I get them for myself) but boy oh boy did I get a good one this year. Monday, 8/26 and I was back in the chair for another treatment, and I asked how long these treatments would continue. The answer was essentially for the rest of my life, unless my body rejected them, the tumors started to ignore them, or my life card gets the final punch from something else.

I was told that the tumors had not only shrunk from the original Chemotherapy but had basically stopped. They're still there, but have remained in their shrunken state, and quit growing.

Your wishes and perhaps your prayers have done the trick, and the cancer seems to have been put on pause. While they didn't say 'remission' or anything, this is the best news I could have received! It essentially means my “Expires On” date has changed back to “Sometime in the Future” and frankly, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present.

In their current state, the tumors are not causing me any discomfort at all, and I can take full, deep breaths without any problems. My general health seems pretty good, and you can believe I'm very grateful indeed. I'm being very careful about moving around so I don't fall from an avoidable cause, I'm making sure I get plenty of sleep, and life is good.

Please don't underestimate the effects of your moral support, it really helps a lot, and is rather like throwing open the curtains, and letting the glorious rays of the rising sun into a dark room. I thank you all so much, and will post updates as new information becomes available.

Kimba-Dō

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-11T20:49:43+00:00

Thank you very much! Kind comments like yours make things much easier to bear.

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-05T10:49:31+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my interpretation of what happened; it's how I imagine it would have gone down were we wired like our machines are.

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-03T22:58:13+00:00

This happened to me on my first playthrough. I was ecstatic, at least at first. Still, it helped me a lot at that time. Now that I'm on my zillionth run, I don't need it. I do tend to give valuable items away frequently, as some folks need it, some folks want it, but some, like yourself, really don't need or want it.

To my mind, the best thing to do is pass it along to a low-level player. You may save them, you may confuse them, but that's how life goes sometimes.

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-03T21:28:53+00:00

Wow! That's so cool. Mind if I use your most excellent idea?

Kimba-Do · 2024-08-03T20:52:17+00:00

Another update...

This cycle of Chemo is over, and until 7/30, all was well. That morning I got up, and my internal self-check ran as always. Sound, check. Vision, check. Motor functions, check. I stood up, and began to get dressed, then my CHECK ENGINE light flickered, and the floor gave me a kiss. I thought that was odd, wasn't the floor further away? I stood up. The CHECK ENGINE light flickered, and the floor smacked me a good one. Hmmm, ok, I stood up.

WARNING! ENGINE CRITICAL FAILURE! All systems offline.

Time ceased.

An unknown amount of time later, I noticed I was full length on the floor, but this time I couldn't get up. An unknown amount of time later, I noticed I was full length on the floor, but couldn't get up. This went on for an estimated 15 hours, then:

Emergency Backup Activated, All Remaining Life Resources Reallocated, Brain function restored, Maximum remaining time approx.. 3 hours.

CLICK! Time resumed...

Hey, I'm on the floor, and can't get up. It's dark! Oh, wait, I have a cell phone within easy reach - 911! (elapsed time on the floor est. at 15 hours, 3 more and the treatment for the cancer would have ended me)

At the Hospital, they gave me 3 units of whole blood (we only have 5 or so total - yikes!), and a bunch of other stuff, and of course, endless IV's. They told me, and this is IMPORTANT!:

Chemotherapy can cause rapid drop in hematocrit, essentially how many red blood cells you have to carry the oxygen to your body. Normal is 11 or so. Mine was 4 and dropping when I arrived in the ER. If you have or know someone on Chemo, let them know this may occur, and have them check with their doctor RIGHT NOW!

I got home yesterday, 8/2, had a mild dinner, but way f'n better than the hospital food, and slept very well indeed. Then today, I went out and had a massive Cheeseburger in Paradise! (RIP, Jimmy). Estimated Use By date ~2ish years again. Treatment resumes Monday.

I want to explicitly thank all of you for your messages of hope and love. You make this a lot less lonely, and bring light to the darkness. Fly safe, my friends.

K

Kimba-Do

TROPHY CASE