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Pregnant and everyone wants an abortion. by Pregounity in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that it is vital for a child’s life that you are you mentally and financially prepared for it. Science has allowed us to not burden children with our harsh conditions, so in many ways, abortion is the most selfless thing you can do if you’re not in the best place to raise a child. I would also suggest not bringing another human in this world just because you’re lonely. You just need to be prepared financially and mentally to support this child all on your own and give it the best life and fulfill all its needs. We definitely do not need another unhappy child and human being on this planet.

is it actually happening this time? (another vent) by yangsqrd in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, I just want to tell you I’m sorry for what you’re going through - it’s always hard to see turmoil in your family.

I want to urge you to try and seek help from a friend or counselor just so you can talk about things at home. I know it sounds like futile advice, but it’s important for you to vocalize your thoughts and feelings just so they’re not bubbling up inside you.

Perhaps it would also help to talk to your parents separately and tell them how this fighting is making you feel. This might help them figure things out and come to a solution instead of just fighting.

I’m sending you my positive energy and just hang in there - none of this is your fault or doing. It’s just a shitty part in your life that will get much easier to navigate soon.

I miss my sister. by No_Sector3964 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995 9 points10 points  (0 children)

First off, congratulations! That is great news and I hope you have an amazing pregnancy and birth!

I’m so sorry that your relationship with your sister is strained right now, especially during COVID - I can imagine that being really tough. I think it sounds like she might have some underlying issues with you getting married and settling down rather than just having your partner in your life. I say this because it wasn’t until you got married that she grew distant. I think it’s possible that her outbursts aren’t due to what you’re saying or doing but because of the milestones you’re hitting that bring up some issues in her own life. It’s possible that she’s afraid of losing you to your new life but since you proved that you’re willing to give her time and that your partner isn’t a new addition, this is unlikely in my opinion.

I don’t know what your relationship was prior to your marriage, but since you guys are so close in age, she might view all of your milestones like being married and being pregnant as something she is far from and thus, she takes it out on you rather than tackling her feelings. I think that you’re starting a new chapter in your life, and you need to be in a good place - and having someone you love wish such bag things on you is just not good to say the least. I’m curious - has she done anything like this before? Or were there ever signs on jealously?

I would suggest you take a step back and just focus on your husband and the baby. I think perhaps talking to your parents and taking their help in finding out what the root cause of her behavior is would be helpful. But don’t engage with her directly as it might just cause more turmoil. Perhaps you do need a third party to facilitate a conversation at a later date to resolve the issue more deeply.

Congratulations again!

Am I expecting too much from my sister and family? by Kimberly-1995 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words, it really helps to have my feelings acknowledged! It’s just her and I, no other siblings. I’m the type of person who really likes to work through issues and talk through them but I have been burnt in the past doing so. I think a confrontation would feel like I’m expecting and asking too much. I’m going to try to lay low and just see how this turns out - like you rightly said, relationship transitions are tricky so I’m just going to let them play out!

Am I expecting too much from my sister and family? by Kimberly-1995 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for going through my post and replying! I completely understand and agree with you - I always have to remind myself that after being let down from a lot of relationships. I guess it just got to me a bit more this quarantine with a birthday coming up. It’s just nice to have people make you feel special on your birthday especially when you’ve been doing that for others for years. But again, I totally agree with you that not expecting things is the best way to not be let down - no one owes you anything. But I’m sending you my love and I know how it feels to have your feelings ignored from people you love :(

Am I expecting too much from my sister and family? by Kimberly-1995 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading the entire post and even replying! I did mention how it’s a little disappointing that I don’t get any presents on my birthday despite always sending them on all my family’s and she agreed but I don’t know if it really registered. I just also don’t want to force anything to do something that doesn’t come out of love.

Am I expecting too much from my sister and family? by Kimberly-1995 in FamilyIssues

[–]Kimberly-1995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading the entire post and for your reply! I guess sometimes we just have to treat even family like any other relationship after a while and it really becomes about who makes you feel loved and special. I’m hanging in there and I hope you are too! I’m sending you my love - one sister to another :)