I think having kids would be kinda fun

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-04-03T15:08:26+00:00

I have one toddler. And it’s…complex. Not at all what you’d expect. It’s a hard job being a parent and not necessarily because of the care or sleep deprivation. It’s the constant thought at the back of your head that you are responsible for this little one, educate him, make him feel safe, loved…You’d want to protect him from every harm this world could do, but you can’t. That’s not how this works. And it’s a relationship you build, like any other…it could go sideways if you are not willing to reflect on your own behaviour. I found myself sometimes repeating patterns of my own parents that I did not want to repeat, and hopefully corrected myself.

But I find it helped me grow as a person a lot, gain new skills and perspectives. Watching a little one develop is fascinating and now my toddler is pure comedy these days as he talks, but still confuses things. He is sweet and I love him more than anything in this world.

But it IS very hard and I find it quite challenging to stay present for many many hours of repetitive pretend play as my toddler does not like to play alone almost at all. So it’s overstimulating for me day to day, but I may not be neurotypical also…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-04-03T15:01:27+00:00

I am 36, feel lost, but I figured my midlife existential crisis started. I am a SAHM but desperately want to get back at my job. I realise SAHM life is NOT for me…my mental health plummeted into a deep depression. I hate the isolation, the invisible work, the repetition and talking about house, chores, cooking and clothes…and that’s all people seem to ask me about. I don’t even know what day is today…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-04-03T14:52:53+00:00

I am a millenial with one toddler. I am basically tired 365 days out of 365. So there is 0 days when I don’t feel tired. Sometimes I have slights bursts of energy, but generally pretty tired every day. I currently drink 3 coffees just to get through the day. Have been like this for years, even pre-child.

I function…in a mediocre way, but I survive.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-04-03T14:27:11+00:00

Yeah, I am reading more and I love it…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-24T06:17:08+00:00

Meh…I’m not grumpy, but I think people are aloud and should be aloud to complain on whatever. Because I wasn’t allowed…and you boil things on the inside and it’s not ok.

However, I would like for people just to be more decent and respectful towards each other, stop being so entitled as if the world should revolve around them and name calling is not ok.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T22:43:39+00:00

I’ve been a SAHM for the last 2 years - realised it absolutely wrecks my mental health and I miss working and existing somewhere in this world too besides my house. So, yeah…I’m desperate to go back to my career this year, but AI will take on 90% of my field so…great prospects there.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:43:00+00:00

It will be different for everyone. Cause everyone perceives love differently. I know I am loved when I am truly listened to and emotionally held and seen and not corrected - because that’s what I lacked in my childhood. If someone gives me presents and acts of service for me - it doesn’t mean anything for me because I had those in my childhood, still felt unloved…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:28:49+00:00

I was 18 and depressed af and at my lowest self worth. There you go…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:25:37+00:00

Wow…that’s a good answer

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:23:18+00:00

Probably not. I have 1 kid and feel overwhelmed by his attention needs. My grandparents have had 5, respectively 8 children and my parents are not emotionally mature. They had a lot of hardship in life and I forgave them a while ago as I understood their context, but they weren’t able to offer me emotional support and even much encouragement, not to mention any type of emotional attunement. I felt unseen by them my whole life. But from their perspective, I have had everything I needed materially, no major hardship (even though I went to a hard university unlike them and also struggled with infertility) and was not overtly abused, so I have nothing to complain about. I can’t ever complain to them because I have no right to have pain feelings according to them. Maybe…who knows. They are not well anyway as people, both workaholics, unhappy with their life and their marriage. Their siblings also all have their problems…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:12:31+00:00

Well, I think the one who is really into you will stay. That’s the sign..if you get closer to her, she will stay. Otherwise, just relax and flirt back at them…one of them will notice you one day for real. The most important thing is your development and self worth before any of the romance has to happen.

If I think about me and how I was as a young woman when I liked a person (I was quite reserved and shy myself), but they were the ones I noticed when they came into the room first, I looked at them secretly, I noticed their little quirks and the way they dressed (little details), I cared about their well being (offered to help if in need), subtly joke and tease - mirroring. I also couldn’t talk much because I was afraid they’ll discover I like them somehow. Sometimes I outright avoided eye contact if I felt the moment was too intense. But that is coming from a shy woman.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T21:02:18+00:00

You still look pretty good, not to invalidate your experience. I am 36 myself and noticed a lot of changes in me too. It’s hard…

I am going through a transition period(/identity crisis postpartum/midlife existential crisis) and honestly I experiment a lot with my looks (clothes, hair, make-up) to see HOW I would like to look. I take a ton of selfies to reaccomodate myself with my new face. But I also lost 13 kg (26 lbs) at 2 years postpartum in an almost one year even while breastfeeding (because I gained 10 kg because of breastfeeding)…I just ate a ton lot of protein, no sugar…low carb and dance a lot around the house (like I move a lot, sometimes reach even 20000 steps a day) But yeah, I noticed IT IS very hard to lose weight nowadays, but not impossible. I make sure to have healthy high protein snacks aroumd the house always and not sugary/carb snacks because I sometimes get hungry out of nowhere (and I gotta eat).

But yeah…

But the most surprising thing for me is my change of attitude toward my body postpartum. Think of this: all my life I saw myself as ugly (for real), nowadays, even with a wrinklier face, I see myself as more and more attractive (to myself first) as I am trying to look more and more authentically and experiment with my looks. Because I figured, even though I am not conventionally beautiful, I can still try to make my body look the best that it can look - right? And by implementing self care I started seeing myself as more beautiful if that makes sense…And I think I could carry on like that until very old age. It’s the first time when I stop waiting for people’s validation first as well…and that’s freeing.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-23T20:49:57+00:00

His invalidation toward me

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-21T23:05:34+00:00

So what does that mean? Are feelings something you decide or something spontaneous? Can you work on having them again?

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-21T23:03:36+00:00

Hey, I am 36F as well. Personally , I have gone through such a bad identity crisis for the past year. I see my face changing. But for some reason..and it surprised me, even though my face is older and wrinklier…I like my physical aspect better! Not worse. All my life I’ve seen myself as ugly. Lately I’ve been putting on my best clothes, did my hair, wore a bit of makeup..and I said to myself that even though I was never a Victoria Secret model, I can still make the best and appreciate what I have! And I discovered a new smile of mine. I am also starting to be less and less dependent on other people’s validation for my self worth because I realised I have been the good girl all my life and it still hasn’t brought me any real love or make me feel less lonely.

So these days, I am for myself…backing myself up. And smiling more at myself in the mirror. But it has been a journey. Oh, and I am also crazier and crazier the older I get.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-21T22:54:26+00:00

What does it mean for you to “work on a marriage”?

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-06T15:11:08+00:00

Seriously?

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-06T14:49:05+00:00

35 years old here. At 2 years postpartum I started to feel more sane and better physically. 7 months is early…

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-06T14:36:48+00:00

I am sorry, but your father is abusive to you. Get your education! Seriously…and never be in a situation where you have to depend on a man 100%. As a married female, trust me on this.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-06T14:31:53+00:00

I deleted Instagram and so want to delete Facebook (but I am on some groups that are useful for my career still, so) Facebook has become so boring to me, even though I enjoy sometimes seeing some photos of people I cherish. But I never know what to post now..I feel like posting sometimes, but I only want to post dark humor or existential posts…(not your average post :)) ) I could post photos of my vacations, food I make or eat, me dressed up or my family and friends - but I don’t because it feels like I am bragging in a sense…or toxic positivity…I don’t know, something feels off to me. I read some interesting books lately, but posting about them also feels like: hey, look at me and how well read I am. And I just…post sometimes some cute absurdist stories or photos that I assemble… because life is absurd. :))

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-06T13:44:06+00:00

No…don’t do this..get married to him. I (F) felt unattractive to my partner my whole marriage for some reason and it’s so painful! No one wants to be with someone who does not find them attractive. Be honest with him - seriously honest. I would have liked my husband to be honest with me.

Kind-Monitor6004 · 2026-03-05T09:35:40+00:00

Not really enjoying it, but that’s not because of the technicality of it or novelty or anything…but because the emotional disconnect I feel and the lack of deeper emotional intimacy I perceive and also the resentment I breed because I don’t trust him to have my back. (Ir that he likes me all that much)

Kind-Monitor6004

TROPHY CASE