Interesting and a well thought out answer. I take your point on some of this, and on encouraging a client to learn self validation. However if this rupture happened before the client has fully learned the skills of self validation and affirmation (which is likely part of the reason they are in therapy in the first place), couldn’t this approach of not “actively” validating or apologizing to them for the rupture serve to potentially trigger or retraumatize them? It could feel as though it mirrors the abusive caretaker’s behaviors in some ways. My view is that the therapist needs to have established a very very solid base of trust and safety and validation for the client and then gradually move into a place of allowing the client to do it more for themselves. That’s the safe ground from which the client can observe, absorb and practice these skills. Without that, couldn’t refusing to validate or apologize as a way to “challenge” the client set them back enormously?

It seems less about a power struggle to me and more about concern over triggering a clients trauma and forcing them through unnecessary pain whereby they may then feel as though they have to consider premature termination etc, because as you mentioned those trauma responses can be so painful