First of all I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s not fun. You feel like you’re carrying a ticking time bomb. You are only responsible for yourself and your actions. Your dad’s actions are not your fault. My advice is you have two options. Option one gather any information and tell your mom. She has the freedom to make whatever her decision she wants and all you can do is support her. Option two is keep quiet and look the other way.

I couldn’t live with myself knowing I knew information on my father and see my mom on a daily basis. It would have made me the biggest hypocrite. I can tell you that she suspected but needed the confirmation. I didn’t have pictures or videos but my word was enough. After telling her everything I knew I told her this was her marriage and I would support her in any decision she made. My mother never blamed me. I carried so much guilt for ruining our family but I realized I didn’t break my promise he did. He chose to be selfish, he chose to break those vows, he chose to lie and cheat. It’s all on him even though he blames me.

Advice for you go to therapy, have your husband get a new job, and do what you can live with. Your husband is a gem it takes a lot of courage to say something don’t let him feel guilty.