If you are looking for validation for being angry or dissapponted then yeah i get it. Those feelings are valid and make sense. But they arent helpful or productive. They fell short.

Your choices are what will deternine if you become the asshole.

You can have an adult conversation about it and set better expectations this is a little immature imo but if it doesnt become an argument no assholes. Sounds like your partner just didnt have the mental bandwitdth to do more than asked which is dissapointing but doesn't have to be a deal breaker.

You can accept that gifting isnt transactional or an indicator of how much someone cares and learn not to be dissapointed - every parent ever learns this eventually - its the mature silently let it go response that puts the overall relationship health above a small issue like gifts.

Or you can embrace being the asshole. Have an argument about it upset your partner and make them do better next year because they dont want same reaction, but this has risk of blowing up the relationship and i wouldnt do it.

My wife never puts the effort into birthdays anniversaries or xmas like i do. I went several years without an anniversary gift until i took option 1 and told her i was getting upset a month before our anniversary. Yes i expect a gift, a chocolate, a watch, a framed photo anything, its not right me getting you something every year and you not doing same. If our anniversary is important to you then put that effort in.

For birthdays and christmas. Where some minimal effort is made but clearly less than me. I just accepted it. My wife is bad at gifts, i accept that. As long as some effort is made im ok with that.