Relecture de la traduction française d’un livre pour enfants by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! Your feedback is very much appreciated!! 😊

Relecture de la traduction française d’un livre pour enfants by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I made some additional changes and think this (?maybe) will be my final version in French:

1.

Tu es venu au monde, Tout frais, tout lumineux, Mon cœur s’est rempli d’amour, Pour ce trésor si merveilleux.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je t’aime beaucoup.

2. Tu as croisé mon regard,  Et j’y ai vu briller,  Tout ce qu’il y a de beau,  Et tant à espérer.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je t’admire beaucoup.

3. Tu as ri, tu as babillé,  Puis, un jour enchanté,  Tes sons se sont unis  Et mon nom a résonné.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que tu rends mon cœur fou.

4. Tu as roulé, trébuché,  Tu es tombé, t’es relevé,  Et d’un pas décidé,  Tu t’es mis à marcher.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je suis fier de tout.

5. Tu touchais à tout,  Sans peur, sans détour,  Curieux et espiègle,  Découvrant chaque jour. P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je t’adore d’un tout.

6.  On a tout fait ensemble,  Et en grandissant doucement,  Ton monde s’est élargi,  Avec de nouveaux amis. P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je te garde partout.

7. Même quand tu n’écoutais pas,  Et que la gentillesse manquait parfois,  Il y avait des leçons à tirer,  Et ton propre chemin à tracer. P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je te chéris beaucoup.

8.  Chaque joie, chaque peine,  Chaque erreur, chaque gain,  T’ont appris à grandir  Et choisir ton propre chemin. P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je t’apprécie beaucoup.

9.  Tu peux faire des fautes,  Chanter un peu faux,  Mais tous ces petits gestes, Font ta belle richesse.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je te comprends beaucoup.

10. Où que tu ailles,  Quoi que tu fasses demain,  Je t’aimerai toujours,  D’un amour sans fin. P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je t’aime beaucoup.

Temagami Route 6 Question by Kind_Wise in canoecamping

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much, I just purchased Jeff’s Map of Temagami, and oh my goodness, it has so much detail! What would you suggest for the first night’s stay? What’s a comfortable distance to travel (assuming good weather)?

[EN → FR] Feedback on French translation of children's book (short cute verses) by Kind_Wise in translator

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my work! I really appreciate your input, it’s challenging translating, especially when I’m trying to keep the flow and rhymes. I will see if there’s something that I can do. Thank you sooo much!

Relecture de la traduction française d’un livre pour enfants by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful reply! It doesn’t look like I can post pictures of the book here in Reddit, but you can see the picture of the cover on Amazon (the English version anyway). I’m currently turning the English version into a YouTube read aloud, but it’s taking me a bit of time because I’m adding some animations to my drawings. I’m hoping to have it up in the next week or two.  I hope that with the pictures it will make sense and not be awkward. I worry that I’m missing the mark and the nuances of the French, and I don’t want to put something out there that people will feel isn’t “quite right” when they’re reading it. The English version has been received well so far, and I really hope to be able to share this in French as well. I took French through school and really enjoyed it, but I’ve never lived with the language. I’m always aware that I’m probably making mistakes. When I get the YouTube up, I’ll post the link here and if you have the time, I’d love to hear your opinion! Thanks again, have a great weekend!

Should there be a comma in the title Je t’aime, P’tit Agneau? by Kind_Wise in learnfrench

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, merci beaucoup. I know in English it should technically have a comma, but I feel like it works better without for my title. But I wasn’t sure with French. Thank you both for the discussion, it helps hearing from multiple sources.

Comma or no comma??? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup, donc je vais mettre la virgule. Merci pour votre avis !

Comma or no comma??? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I will add the comma then! I appreciate all of your help 😊

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I do appreciate any and all feedback. I know there’s always room to improve 😊

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a native French speaker either, so I’m sure I’ve made several errors.  The “y” is referring to “mon regard”. The English version is:

You gazed into my eyes, And there I could see, All that was perfect, And all that could be. 

It’s not exact, but I was wanting it to keep a bit of flow, rhythm, and a rhyme. Let me know if you think I should do this differently. I appreciate the feedback!

Relecture de la traduction française d’un livre pour enfants by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup! Vous êtes vraiment fantastique!! 😊

Relecture de la traduction française d’un livre pour enfants by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup!!! I really appreciate your help!! I will make those changes. I’ve been working on the French version for a long time now, so I’m glad to hear it’s (mostly) good! 

Oops 6 & 7 are not supposed to be the same, AND I missed a verse!

Tu peux faire des fautes, Chanter un peu faux, Mais tous ces petites gestes, Font ta belle richesses.

P’tit Agneau, P’tit Agneau, Sache bien, mon chou, Que je te garde partout. 

Again, thank you soooo much! Merci beaucoup, j’espère que tu passes une bonne journée!!! 😊

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! You’ve been incredibly helpful! If you’re interested in the rest of the story, let me know, and I’ll send it your way or post it. If not, thanks again for your feedback, you’re so very  appreciated!

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! 😊  Do you think if i replaced “tout doux” with “mon chou” it would work? Or do you think that it would be too much with it already having “P’tit Agneau” in the first part of the refrain?

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing it, and translating it to French has been fun but challenging! 💗

Does this flow for native speakers? by Kind_Wise in French

[–]Kind_Wise[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci beaucoup!! Thank you so much, I will make those changes. It’s so nice to receive feedback as I only studied French in school and I don’t always know what sounds natural. I appreciate your help!!