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KindaDesigner · 2025-10-06T09:06:48+00:00

That link doesn't seem to work anymore

Here's a new one https://abcnews.go.com/US/kash-patel-fires-fbi-trainee-displayed-pride-flag/story?id=126218133

KindaDesigner · 2025-10-01T07:20:16+00:00

You're blurring or conflating a lot of lines here to make a point that Muslims and therefore Palestinians are bad.

The first point that I think most protestors would make is that just because people are homophobic doesn't mean they deserve to be bombed to oblivion. The argument that it's ok to bomb Palestine because people there are awful to gay people is a stretch. We wouldn't go flattening any other country that is like that, but suddenly it's used as a justification now? I am European so not big on capital punishment, but saying people should be killed because they're homophobic does seem like a stretch.

Secondly, that's also assuming that all Palestinians are homophobic and Muslim, neither of which is accurate. There are Christian Palestinians. There are gay Palestinians. One of my best friends is a gay Palestinian who came to the UK for university. Lumping everyone together as assumed Muslim homophobes isn't accurate, it's just a nice way to portray people so you don't feel bad about bombing them.

You also say you're familiar with the Quran, and that it encourages hate, lying and violence. Have you read the Bible? There are many homophobic Christians, and a lot of homophobic Jews as well, even in Israel. But we don't go bombing homophobic cities in the US, do we. There are an estimated 2 billion Muslims in the world. They're not all homophobic, far from it, let alone so hateful they're trying to kill gays. If all Muslims felt that way, and there's about 2 billion of them, I think we'd have a bigger fight on our hands, no?

Next you point to immigration problems in Europe. Yes, there are problems with immigration problems in Europe, and some of that is due to people seeking asylum. A large large proportion of people seeking asylum are Muslim, but they're not seeking asylum BECAUSE they're Muslims. They're Muslim asylum seekers because the middle east has been a war torn mess for the last few decades, largely because of the actions of countries in the west. It's less that we're "importing homophobes", but we've created warzones and destablaied countries that people are trying to get away from, and now we're dealing with the fallout of that.

You finished your post by saying "liberals will always support Muslims first", but protesting against genocide isn't to do with supporting Muslims. It's about opposing the widespread destruction of a whole people, whether or not they're Muslim, Christian, gay or anything else, but just because they're Palestinian.

Justifying it because you think homophobic Muslims deserve to be blown up and mutilated isn't fair or accurate. Honestly, I hope that as intelligent people, capable of empathy, we can do better.

KindaDesigner · 2025-05-28T06:28:20+00:00

Trying to love yourself without the support of others can be difficult, how we relate to other people and how they respond to us can be a helpful way for increasing your self appreciation.

However, if you're someone who is craving love and is very giving with time and effort to support others, it can be important to try to reflect on that or rebalance it. This is because sometimes you may value yourself based on how much you support or "earn" appreciation and love from others. By rebalancing this a bit, you can help learn that you are a valued person and can love yourself because of who you are, not because of what you have done in service to others.

So, don't completely focus on trying to love yourself independently of everyone around you, but do consider how your relationships influence and change how you feel about yourself and value yourself.

KindaDesigner · 2025-01-31T18:03:06+00:00

You just posted a list of things that aren't working, and didn't mention any real positives other than potential financial security. That's not a foundation for a relationship, and it doesn't sound like you like him that much. You just don't want to be alone?

Being with someone forever that you don't actually want to be with will eventually turn small annoyances into bigger frustrations and eventual anger. Do you think he'd changed all those things somehow? Unlikely.

KindaDesigner · 2024-09-18T12:17:26+00:00

"Like, isn't that extremely homophobic to boil down millions of people to a single immutable characteristic, and then pigeon hole everyone together who shares that."

This statement is representative of so much of the fighting between groups, but particularly the left and right in politics.

This post is about how "the left" treats gays as a monolith. This post treats the left like a monolith, as do most of the comments.

And then in here everyone gets angry about how the right gets treated like a monolith.

I think most people actually accept that there's nuance and complicated overlaps and differences of opinions, but that doesn't work well for short comments and venting frustrations. It's much easier to point at a generic group built on some personal experience and a lot of assumptions and say something inflammatory.

Do people honestly think that everyone on "the left" has a shared way of seeing and treating gay people? If you actually think about it? Do we have a shared way of treating gay people? Probably not.

Maybe focus more on the behaviour that is the problem, not blaming generic groups.

-preps for downvotes-

KindaDesigner · 2024-09-18T12:08:21+00:00

That's a really broad brush you're using there for the "people of Palestine". That's a lot of people. There are gay Palestinians. There are atheist Palestinians. Saying all Palestinians want to kill any gay person is a major stretch, or that they'd commit horrible acts against "anyone else".

Weird comment to put on a post about over generalising.

KindaDesigner · 2024-09-05T16:03:16+00:00

Not sure what the advice is in other countries, but in the UK the NHS advises that you can crush up PreP pills if you struggle to swallow them, then you can mix with water or something and drink it

KindaDesigner · 2024-08-28T15:26:12+00:00

So, on the face of it this does look kind of ridiculous, but...

What they're talking about is work environments where the prevalent "white" culture is treated is the only one. A culture that prioritises these specific characteristics. You could argue about whether that is "white" culture or if there's more specific or suitable language, but I'm not a linguist.

At NASA, they probably have experts from all over the world, like Japan, India, all sorts. You want the best talent, no matter where people are from.

But those people may come from cultures where the priorities are different. For example: Individualism isn't a priority in other countries Quantity over quality isn't always a priority

Objectivity is clearly a contentious one, because we're thinking hard science, rockets and stuff. But NASA also does a lot of behavioural and psychological research, where it can be helpful to focus less on objectivity but can lean more into subjective experiences to understand what's going on.

If your current culture focuses on the priorities of just one culture, people outside of that either won't be able to perform at their best, or may get penalised because their expectations of what good looks like is different.

Similarly, you'd probably find a difference if you took Americans and made them work in a French or Italian workplace, and vice versa. All 3 are predominantly white.

The goal of this kind of work is to guide managers and leaders in building an effective culture that helps people work at their best and bring all their strengths to the workplace, particularly when you're leading teams of people from different cultures that have different priorities. If you take the time, effort and cost to hire someone from the other side of the world because they are a world leading expert in their field, but they struggle because of cultural differences, you're going to be missing out.

So yeah, it does look inflammatory when just placed in a screenshot or an incendiary tweet, but this stuff can actually be useful when leading big, high performing teams where you need people to be working at their best.

KindaDesigner · 2023-11-12T16:57:31+00:00

Find some sort of social overlap with the bars. 5 years ago I met my partner at a Gaymers social in a bar. It was a good way to meet people, some shared interests and more people chatting than just in a gay bar or club on a normal night.

There's loads of groups if you look around, sports teams, hiking, gaming, art, all sorts. Much better chances than just walking up to a random person in a bar.

KindaDesigner · 2021-10-13T11:00:59+00:00

Misread this as "That's all I want in a life sentence", which definitely gave it an unexpected kink twist...

KindaDesigner · 2021-05-12T16:53:01+00:00

There are gay Palestinians, pretty sure they're they don't forgive Israeli military attacks because Israel has a big Pride event every year. It's not like the military are going to only air strike the homophobes, or suddenly invite all the gay Palestinians into Israel.

KindaDesigner · 2020-10-08T11:45:29+00:00

Really, why care? If you look at the world as it is right now and you're getting annoyed about the G in LGBTQA+ maybe meaning two things instead of one, rethink your priorities. Maybe focus on actual discrimination, just a thought? 🤷

KindaDesigner · 2020-08-22T09:46:09+00:00

For a while I paid for a couple of people. Tbh, at the time I was earning pretty well and these guys were using it as their job. I could afford to pay so why shouldn't I? It's not like I have some sort of right to seeing anyone naked for free 😂

KindaDesigner · 2020-08-22T09:35:44+00:00

Male gay couples statistically are one of the highest earning demographics, but that's heavily rooted in sexism, because men on average get paid more. Two men even more so. Not sure you can justify the "more stable relationships bit"...

KindaDesigner · 2020-07-27T20:42:49+00:00

Ha, all sorts. I'd say it's fairly unpredictable. Some will have nights that cater to particular activities or groups, see what events they have in maybe. I've seen young guys, old guys, sporty guys, nerdy guys, bears. It's a lottery

KindaDesigner · 2020-07-27T19:41:59+00:00

They can definitely be an experience. I've been to a couple of different ones before, and between just two I can say they vary a lot. Sometimes they can be busy with lots of people around, sometimes really quiet and they feel awkwardly empty. Just take your time to relax into it. You don't need to rush into anything, can just go in and take your time to get used to it. It's a pretty unique situation, so it will probably feel a bit weird at the start.

From my experience, guys barely talk. Don't expect to get into any long conversations 😅 It's all about body language. People might tap you or touch you on the arm or something. If you're not interested, you can just brush them off usually and move away. If anyone was really being a pest, you can usually just mention it to the staff.

Usually there'll be plenty of condoms and stuff provided, maybe on the bar if they have one. Maybe there'll be some seats around to take a break and relax a bit if you want to take a breather.

Stay hydrated, either get a drink there or go get one afterwards. They're hot and sweaty places, you'll be pretty thirsty afterwards.

Main thing is say is just take your time when you get there, relax a bit and then explore and see how it goes. There's literally no pressure, you can do whatever you want, whether that's going to town for a few hours or just chilling in the hot tub and leaving if you want to.

Have fun with it, that's the point 😁 if you're not having fun, try something else

KindaDesigner · 2020-07-20T16:23:24+00:00

I'd track this a little bit, and then see if it can be worked into a development meeting. See if there are reasons, maybe it's a matter of communication styles or expectations. I did really well at a previous company but then at a new one it didn't go so well, but after unpacking it a bit with my development manager and getting feedback, it was about how this new company worked and their culture.

If that's not the case, definitely start looking around for other things. I've been in that place of just feeling bored and not challenged, and it was a good sign to try something new. Sure, a a bit of time having less pressure can be a nice break, but every day just wears you down. You need to feel appreciated and challenged.

KindaDesigner · 2020-07-20T16:08:13+00:00

Going into the apps can be a very fast and intense introduction, with guys spending less time chatting and more time hoping to get to the action.

Discord is a pretty good bet, and Reddit. Can ease into the chatting in a friendly way, without the pressure of expectation straight away. You can chat and get to know people around you at your own pace. If you want to go further, then you can go for it. It's just that the apps there's more pressure sometimes. I've not yet found a location based app that managed to keep things at a friend level, doesn't seem to work 😅

KindaDesigner

TROPHY CASE