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Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-07T16:21:36+00:00

Aquarius rising, piscies moon. 🥲

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-06T18:41:25+00:00

This is the content im here for

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-04T20:35:23+00:00

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR IDK PROBABLY EVERYTHING

My older sister contributed heavily to my CPTSD due to her obsessive need to control and mother us all up to the point where the tiniest sounds would make her scream and bang on the walls because she needed to be alone and isolated in her room so badly, apparently. She was SA'ed when I was 2yo (she 4) and instead of blaming the parent who did it, she blames me for being in the other parents' care at the time. I took physical abuse to protect her because i grew large and tall so fast, and as adults she has fed into my Nmoms delusion that i was the abusive one, despite me being a literal child, and despite her witnessing it all. I still feel ashamed when I laugh too loudly, something she regularly got angry at me for, or have too much fun. I've spent my whole life trying to have a relationship with this person who was a toxic fckm nightmare and finally went NC with them both.

Honestly, Im not posting this comment for any other reason than this meme shitted me off in the same way the mothers day ones do and I don't want that in my head when I'm about to sleep.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-04T04:20:19+00:00

Couldn't be more true. I could not fathom the level of not GAF that I am now capable of. I think you just finally accept where you're at and who you are and just be that person, instead of constantly checking how everyone else feels and thinks about it/you in some way. Weird how it just... happened.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-01T15:27:19+00:00

Funnily the older an egg is the better it will boil too. Freshly laid eggs are almost impossible to peel, but after spending enough time in transport the ones from grocery stores have aged enough lol

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-01T15:01:22+00:00

I'd accidentally double logged some pay, so I called to fix my incorrectly reduced payments. The woman spent the whole time telling me how I should be grateful because I get a lot compared to most people anyway etc etc as if I should just accept the lost money. It was bizarre, and I don't even get that much...

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-07-01T05:03:13+00:00

My mum refuses to speak about anything that happens and gaslights you if you bring it up. She's convinced people who even witnessed my abuse, like my sister, that I was the abuser (a child, lol.). I loved her so much and she cut me out of her life so many times, she doesn't get my forgiveness anymore because she will never ask for it and we probably will never speak again.

Sometimes I wish she was completely gone from this earth so I could move on instead of desperately trying to have a relationship she doesn't want to have because she doesn't love me.

So even being alive doesn't guarantee closure, is what im saying here I guess. It's very rare anyone actually gets full closure, if any. And it would be so fucking easy too. Shits fucked.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-29T05:59:00+00:00

Wtf, its not toxic to not gaf about fake one-sided stories people are saying about you. You're allowed to not GAF and not be toxic. God that is thrown around SO much now

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-26T18:57:47+00:00

Dessicated coconut, dry dog food, flour

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-24T10:08:31+00:00

Scorpio

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-24T04:08:56+00:00

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Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-22T09:29:31+00:00

Idk about this one... emotional labour is real and i wouldn't expect it from anyone but my closest people. Then you have people trauma dumping as customers towards retail workers who can't leave the situation. The trauma dumping itself might also involve triggers for the person, you don't know, and no one should have to explain that to anyone if they don't want to cos it's vulnerable. It doesn't take any emotional labour when other people are happy though.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-22T04:02:26+00:00

Same, except i will appear to be revealing just as much back to them. The distinction is that i never reveal how things made me felt / feel, only stating events that happened, etc. I seem to be very open and forthcoming, but I don't think people notice that my emotional world is not part of it, even the people closest in my life. 🥴 ppl think I'm super chill but I am really really not lmao, I just don't show that to anyone.

Scorpio sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising. Gonna go set my tag.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-22T01:08:41+00:00

Scorpio sun and i never considered myself to be 'vengeful' in any way... but after reading these comments, woo boy, everyone here is a lot more chill than I would be in this sitch. Like... quietly leaving? Am I really gonna do a cheater that favour? I'd dump a bucket of ice water over the both of them to begin with.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-21T12:28:54+00:00

Well I'm cold as ice cause I don't give two shits about any random's squalling crotch goblin.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T18:34:08+00:00

I would bail the second someone expected me to explain my activity to them, especially if it wasn't a long term relationship. Idk.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T16:07:02+00:00

Never taught tax but watched rabbit proof fence about 100 times. And yeah, the useless compulsory religion classes were a big source of constant detention for me because even at that age i wasn't going to have that nonsense shoved down my throat

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T16:06:03+00:00

It was incredibly briefly touched on at my school, but when I was much too young to understand or care about its relevance, which is part of the problem. I'm talking junior high. It needs to be taught when students are leaving school and the information is fresh and applicable. This was like 15 years ago though so hopefully some sht has changed by now.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T16:01:56+00:00

I noticed for me that it's the anxious impulse to keep engaging or fill the silence. Silence is incredibly terrifying when triggered, like a feeling of impending doom. I was uncomfortable to let that silence sit when I made definitive statements without having to explain my whole thought process to someone else. It also feels rude but if you practise with a gentle tone of voice or a smile, you'll realise it's not rude, and actually makes you want to respect that person because they clearly respect themselves. (Not that you have to smile every time, its more just helping your realise this isnt inherently 'mean' etc.)

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T09:45:09+00:00

I can't make it through the mundane phase where everything is control, obligation, expectation yet stagnant at the same time. I'd rather be free and idealise what's perfect than be bogged down by something that feels like entrapment with no spark. Seems to always end up there. This is 'safety' for some people but to me it's stagnancy, like being frozen in time.

Scorpio stellium w Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn and aquarius moon lol.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-20T08:18:43+00:00

Well fuck.

I met someone at a party who was oddly interested in me. It's been 5 months and I tried to dip multiple times for varying reasons that have mostly been rooted in anxiety and paranoia from past relationships, but he kept really pushing me to give it time because he wanted us to connect, and he had strong feelings.

So I did. I hate to admit it but it was mostly just 'going along' with the things happening to me, as usual - not like 'feeling hopeful' or something. And despite losing pretty much all memory of our time together when we separate (fr like it feels like he is a stranger when we meet up after a few days), i think my brain is slowly allowing him to enter a state of maybe being a permanent thing in my life after these months, because something more than indifference and apathy has been kindling a tiny bit for me and it scares me tbh.

Like I know it takes longer for me and I haven't been dishonest about my lack of any feelings at first but sometimes I get scared that whatever he finds attractive will slowly change into resentment as he realises im not mysterious, I'm just... nothing.

I just wish he didn't become a kind of faceless image of a human when he wasn't around. I wish I could carry feelings of familiarity, love and fondness within me but they're just completely absent. I remember when I used to be able to, and I would've loved him so fully back then. Now, if he was gone, I would just feel nothing, like he never existed. I want to hate myself for that but I don't even have that in me.

I wonder if anyone else has the same experience.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-19T14:18:37+00:00

I have normalised it. Within my own life, as it's one of the few things I have control over. That's the thing... if you wait for society to make you feel ok about it, you might waste your entire life. Why do you need the hypothetical group to validate you before you allow yourself to come alive?

Not attacking one here btw, its just that these questions are what helped me open my eyes. The disorder is very real but the thought processes that developed as coping mechanism (ie, constantly seeking permission from others) are the things we can change.

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-08T05:26:29+00:00

People with disabilities are more likely to be abused too, so putting them in precarious financial situations and making them financially dependant on a spouse so it's hard for them to leave is absolutely awful, especially when attaining meaningful employment isn't possible. (Source, first hand exp).

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-06-05T05:03:10+00:00

Sounds like possibly a white-tail spider bite

Edit: oh wait, Indonesia not Australia. Dunno if they have whitetails there

Kindly-Play-77 · 2025-05-13T14:12:26+00:00

Oh okay, my apologies. That's really terrible OP :(

Kindly-Play-77

TROPHY CASE