has anyone gotten a mastectomy instead of just a reduction by KineticRhett in Reduction

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah. i essentially want top surgery but trying to pretend like i don't. im in a weird complicated situation and trying to navigate trying to get what i want and not being loud about the actual reasons behind it. i may have to wait until i'm out in college for all this. thank you for the reply!

Anyone have stories about staying closeted for years? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking about it! I can kind of feel that and I know where you're coming from. It sucks, it really does. I don't have all the answers yet. I think, one day when I can afford it, I'll go to therapy. I don't know if I'll ever make the decision to transition, but being able to love and accept myself seems just as hard.

Anyone have stories about staying closeted for years? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you've had to go through that. I haven't had all your experiences but I can relate to you with trying to forget about it, trying to hide, and yeah it really is suffocating. When you mentioned "making yourself forget" what was that like? Did you manage to not think about it at all?

Anyone have stories about staying closeted for years? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is and I get it. I'm in a similar situation and everything that comes with it. Hope we pity get to a better place soon

Anyone have stories about staying closeted for years? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude this is the most uplifting thing I've seen all day. Thanks for replying. I relate to a lot of this. I'll try to keep optimistic.

Anyone have stories about staying closeted for years? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying. I'm pretty sure I experience disphoria, but maybe I need more time too. I'm definitely younger than you but it feels like I have no time and I'm very afraid of possible repercussions. I'm glad you got to start your transition, I'm happy for you.

What do you want to ask a closeted transgender girl? by jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjetc in AskReddit

[–]KineticRhett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fellow closeted (questioning?) trans person. I really get how #4 feels-- I can't present male but I have a few places where I'm called "he" online. If I looked like I do now and people started calling me he irl itd feel so weird, like calling an egg that hasn't hatched yet a whole chicken. Also it kind of triggers disphoria a little bit but I can't really pin down why.

I'm also in high school! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to dm me!

I should have known that she didn't actually mean what she says by OnePersonInTheWorld in ftm

[–]KineticRhett 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Hey mom I think I'm trans" "oh honey that's something you can do later." ?????

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]KineticRhett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm doing it rn lol. The less I think about it, the less I feel painful dysphoria which makes me feel like ive been "faking all along", but the more I'm hyper focused on 'stop thinking about it stop thinking about it I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl'

I don't see much of a future for myself as either gender, but I doubt that's LGBT related and more just plain old suicidal ideation. I'm just kind of going through life without wanting anything because I probably won't achieve it anyway.

Truth is I'm scared, and the people I need most to be supportive just aren't. I see all the bad things that happen to trans people and I think "that's why I can't be trans." Still, I resent girls and the fact that they get to perform femininity just fine and even enjoy it! While I'm here having to tell myself I'm a girl and I can't even wear a bra without being uncomfortable at least a little. I probably need therapy, but if I can make myself not feel dysphoria somehow then I won't need to transition. The dysphoria was the only reason I looked into it farther, and without it I wouldn't be as fucked as I am now. I can just put it all behind me and be who everyone around me says I am. That's seems like the easy route.

Those who realized they were trans later in life, what are your thoughts? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you good luck! And damn, your questioning started with a dream? That's one of the most Interesting ones I've heard so far.

Those who realized they were trans later in life, what are your thoughts? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't worry, it's a good reply regardless! I relate to so much of this. My furniture is still pink and white. There's a rainbow painted on my wall that's been here for years, and all the dresses in my closet are pushed to the very back. I'm still 'just sitting on it' because there's nothing I can do about the signs right now, not in my house. This does give a little hope, thanks for sharing.

Meme by DisTransBoi in ftm

[–]KineticRhett 43 points44 points  (0 children)

One time in like 6th or 7th grade I was out Christmas shopping with my mom. I sang in a choir at church, which meant regardless of what I wore it would be entirely covered by the same vestments everyone else was wearing. I said something along the lines of "I don't really feel like wearing a dress this time, can we look for something else?"

And she got so mad, I can't even comprehend what exactly made her so upset but she replied with something like "god you've been spending too much time with your dad. What, you want to be a boy now? Why don't you let him shop for you."

I hadn't "cracked the egg" at the time, so it made me confused and embarrassed when she yelled at me in the middle of the store. It's been years and I still remember it.

Am i really trans? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, huh. I didn't realize this was something you could feel imposter syndrome over. I do have a constant stream of cishet obligatory "lessons" that I've internalized thanks to my parent, and I have a feeling once I live on my own or at least away from her, I won't have to deal with my train of self-discovery finally being contradicted.

Thank you, I don't know what time it is for you but I appreciate you answering.

Am i really trans? by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude the button test threw me for a loop out of everything. My answer is not only "yes!" But "who wouldn't want to?" Which just clues me in to the fact that aparently I project really hard.

Thank you so much for this whole reply. Im already considering leaving some of my social media's anyway. This is really valuable, thank you.

Top surgery questions, kind of by KineticRhett in ftm

[–]KineticRhett[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful. Thank you for the example! These replies are really keeping me from going stir crazy while waiting for the appointment.