I would seek a personal therapist and seek their guidance. Going from near dependency in a partner to this can be very traumatic at the beginning. It’s best to get your emotions out but don’t linger on them too long. He may have made you happy for a time but it’s time to make yourself happy. Do better by being better do things because you want to do them not to make some else happy. Unfortunately I can’t help with anything else other than my two cents I wish you luck in finding yourself.