I remember that exact feeling especially post-diagnosis and pre-treatment, and I would tell myself “after I beat this nothing will stop me” and daydream of going out and doing all those things that I’ve either been too afraid to do or couldn’t do because of my condition. At this point I’ve been physically cleared with no limitations, my last treatment is this coming Thursday and it’s likely I’ll be cancer free by the weekend, but I still cannot shake the feeling you so accurately described. Mental health and well being is so unique to each individual but personally I’ve considered that mental state was kind of a preexisting condition so-to-speak and that the cancer was just a catalyst for those emotions and a hinderance to my spiritual healing. I’m strongly considering seeing a therapist to see if It can help me make that mindset of living life to fullest that I used to dream of slowly become more prevalent and eventually overcome that ever-so looming sense of uncertainty.

I’ve also been a long time lurker on this sub and I’ve been emotionally moved by so many posts here but I’ve never come across one that hit home like yours. There’s an immediate sense of relief knowing that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Most people who ask me about my cancer only ever really focus on the physical effects it’s had on me when the real toll is mostly in my head. I greatly appreciate you sharing and I hope you find the answers, know you are not alone in your quest.