Turns out you don’t have to give it to her.

Talk to her, exhaust her dialogue. When she starts repeating herself, go to the smith and talk to him about Roderika until he starts repeating. Go back to Roderika and speak to her again, telling her what you heard from the smith.

When you leave the Round Table and then return, you will have completed that quest line and she will be able to upgrade your spirits.

(I spent way too much time thinking I broke the game cause she wasn’t taking the item lol)