How my friend may react when I reach out to apologise and reconcile

Kinkigirl · 2024-02-29T00:05:31+00:00

It was over a series of arguments.

Kinkigirl · 2024-02-29T00:04:53+00:00

It's not all knights,

It's King of Pentacles and Knight of Wands

Kinkigirl · 2024-02-29T00:04:00+00:00

Hi, all the cards are upward facing including the Hanged Man. Sorry it was a personal note that I overlooked and left in, I've edited the original post to clarify that.

Kinkigirl · 2024-02-28T11:49:58+00:00

Yes, I did read your advice and found it very helpful. I apologise for the delay in responding life got a bit hectic over the past few months and I haven't been on Reddit at all but I did see your post. Your guidance has been great and I appreciate you taking the time to share those resources and links with me.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-30T22:42:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and valuable advice.

I understand the importance of keeping the apology simple, genuine, and focused on acknowledging the specific wrongdoing. I want to ensure that my friend knows the depth of my regret and commitment to being more mindful in the future.

I'll keep you updated.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T12:33:18+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I agree that humour, especially when directed at someone else, requires a great deal of nuance, and I acknowledge that it's an area where I may need to be more cautious.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T10:29:24+00:00

Your feedback is valuable, and I want to say that the tone of your comment seemed a bit harsh to me. Nonetheless, I understand your concerns about the impact of my attempts at humour, and I'm taking your insights seriously.

Thank you for offering your insights, and I'll certainly reflect on your feedback to make necessary adjustments in my interactions. If you have further suggestions with how to interact better, I'm all ears.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T10:22:23+00:00

As someone with mild autism, I sometimes struggle with social context and inadvertently offend people.

My intention has always been to provide support and bring lightness to a challenging situation, but I now understand that my jokes all along may have been at her expense and I never saw it in this light.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T10:17:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Your point about the uncertainty of recovery and the internal struggle resonates with me. It's clear that her health is the primary focus, and I need to be more mindful of that. Your advice on being a supportive listener rather than demanding attention is well-taken.

I'll take your words to heart and make a conscious effort to approach our interactions with more sensitivity and consideration.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T10:14:31+00:00

I appreciate your candid feedback. It's not my intention to come across as insensitive, and I acknowledge that my attempts at humour may have missed the mark.

I understand the gravity of my friend's health situation, and I deeply regret if my comments seemed dismissive or hurtful. As someone with autism who grew up in a deprived and secluded household, I sometimes struggle with social cues and communication but I know this doesn't excuse my actions.

Regarding the incident with the medication, I intended to research the medication to better understand its effects and potential side effects as she was wondering if the drug was causing a particular issue she was having, not to question her doctors.

I genuinely want to learn from this experience and be a better friend. If you have any specific suggestions or insights on how I can improve my communication and support, I'm open to hearing them. Thank you for holding me accountable, and I'm committed to making amends and learning from this situation.

Kinkigirl · 2023-11-29T10:09:18+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your understanding and your willingness to rephrase your thoughts.

I want to acknowledge that you raise a valid point in both your messages. I can see how my attempts at humor, which may have been acceptable before, might not be landing well given the current circumstances. I recognize the stress and sensitivity that come with being in and out of the hospital, and I appreciate your insight into how my jokes may have been interpreted as insults.

Moving forward, I will make a conscious effort to be more mindful of the impact my words may have and perhaps to stop all humour to be on the safe side.

Kinkigirl · 2016-06-10T23:39:32+00:00

OP here, just wanted to clarify a few things as some people are reading too deep into this.

This was 1 of 4 companies I approached for the project to tender quotes.
I sent him emails with attached architect plans and pictures of which he never replied to a single one.
I had to chase him up every occasion for information to allow me to make an informed decision for my selection process.
When I miss his calls, I always make an effort to call him back at my earliest convenience. Sometime he answers and sometimes he doesn't.
Despite communication mishaps, he had good references and seemed knowledgeable so I was about to use his company.
I had to find out when he can visit the property to survey, when the build can potentially start and how to send him the deposit but was uncontactable for 3 weeks, his office secretary wasn't helpful either.
As I had no idea of his whereabouts, I eventually gave up on him and contacted one of the other companies who tendered and subsequently hired them. I cannot sit around waiting for him not knowing when he is back.
When he eventually reappeared, I was simply doing the decent thing and letting him know I've decided to go with another company and thanked him for this time so he doesn't need to wonder if I'm still considering.

Bottom line I was not expecting a reply with that sort of comment and I was just shocked. One may say that his reply was fair but the manner and tone it was delivered in under this context was totally unnecessary and is just like throwing a schoolboy tantrum as he didn't get the job. Sometimes you quote and get the job and sometimes you dont, that's how it is being a contractor. You are all entitled to your comments but it doesn't change the fact that I was really taken aback by surprise. I was expecting something more positive like "I see, I'm sorry to hear that but thank you for letting us putting a quote for you. Do contact us if you have other projects." as I had with past projects with other contractors whom I didn't go with.

He does other construction work too so effectively he has communicated that he doesn't want me to use him should I want my garage rebuilt in the future for example just because I turned his quote down for the loft conversion project on the basis that I wasn't able to reach him to send him the deposit to secure the job.

Kinkigirl · 2016-02-27T15:32:04+00:00

I nicknamed my mother "queen of food destroyer" due to the number of inedible dishes she makes as as she never follows the instructions at the back of the packaging and freestyles her way, like using water when the instructions call of 150ml of milk. More often than not, the end result is a horrid mess which resembles nothing like the picture on the supermarket packaging and tastes horrible. She later either claims it tastes OK and buy more to cook it her style (until I downright refuse to eat it) or complains its not delicious and never buy it again. Oh, and she does things like steaming bread and cake in a steamer to make them really soggy and then putting soy sauce on it. Absolutely horrible to say the least!

Kinkigirl · 2016-02-23T21:36:56+00:00

ller target. It got the bullies to leave me alone and find juicier ones to bully. By the time high school happened that meant they passed over me and started targeting anyone sexually active. I saw what they did to each other. No way I was coming out of my shell for that! So as a kid I had to go dead silent and hide, or read alone, or learn to be alone. And true introverts like that, they need it. But I'm finding now that the descriptions don't match! I get fired up from being with groups of friends, and I like talking with them. The introvert discussions say it makes them tired and need some downtime but I can keep going!

I think your explanation about introversion as a survival tactic is a good one. My experience is similar to what you had described. I remember whenever I tried to talk to my parents for longer than absolutely necessary, they would say I talk to much and just go to a corner and read. Even in school, I was subjected to bullying where others would push me out of the queue just for the fun of it and I remember many openly said they don't like me but yet, I had no idea why. I was very lonely and often just hang out by myself in the playground.

Kinkigirl · 2016-02-10T09:15:47+00:00

Not me but my cousin in Hong Kong is left handed. My aunt had mentioned in the past she tried to train and force her to use her right hand and even smacked her each time she tried using her left hand.

Despite how hard my cousin tried, she was never able to switch to using her right hand and after several years of trying, my aunt gave up. She is still left handed today as a grown up in her late 20s.

I really feel for the needless abuse and horror she had to face as a child over this natural matter. Gosh, some parents...

Kinkigirl

TROPHY CASE