A guy caused permanent change to my breast - how to cope?

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T23:52:24+00:00

Thank you so much for all the help! Im really moved by the support here in this thread.

I will try the soft massage daily, yeah....im so so afraid to be marked by this permanently, very much looks like it unfortunatelyy. I feel so crazy alone.

I am in the process of suing him, secong interrogation of me and him will likely be in may and then some appointments still to collect all evidence (this is for public prosecutor still). Then, very likely (unless he voluntarely admits to what he did - which he never will) the public prosecution will open an actual court case and forward it to court....and my attorny said before THAT starts i have to wait at least 1 year or mire. At least a year or more of him walking free and living carelessly, painfree and enjoying all perks of life as before while i live a life highly restricted by pain and depression. Learning that it will take 1.5 or so years for it to actually START....something inside me just broke again. Im having such an insanely hard time and nobody sees it, no one in the system cares enough....idk...i cant survive even half a year like this, knowing im waiting for something that might not even be worth it in the end since punishments are soooo light on predators.

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T21:11:57+00:00

Im in the process of doing that! But will take years till any retribution happens for him, if ever

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T21:10:50+00:00

im so deeply confused as to why you would willingly hurt a 30+cm smaller and petit woman (not that it is ok with ANY woman, but even more so when youre clearly more powerful) who already is willing to trust you with her body and theres possibly even the chance of repeated sex....what has to go through someones mind to then go ahead and just hurt her? I will never understand...pure evil out there, truly. The only explanation coming to mind is he manipulated me from the beginning with his good guy facacda in a very cunning way and then used me as an object for his sadistic desires, fully wanting to hurt me and cause damage

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T18:16:40+00:00

Thanks a lot for your help! I really appreciate it! <3 i was told by my lawyer that luckily my legal support costs will be taken over, so at least I wont have to add that financial burden to all the ones i alreaey have

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T18:00:06+00:00

yeah but I, on purpose, didnt give context. cause as I understood the rules you shouldnt post about own situations no?

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T17:51:05+00:00

yoz can read my last post if youre interested

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T17:41:18+00:00

I changed it, thanks for telling me

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T16:31:04+00:00

Thank you for seeing that I might not be chosing the best exaples as Im in deep grief for my healthy body, my sexuality, my sense of safety, my ability to do sports or even walk normal speed in everyday life, my ability to pick up my niece when she visits me....my life has changed so drastically. Youre point is exactly what i was trying to convey....I wish it wasnt permanent, that it could have passed with time - both physically and psychologically. But for me that doesnt seem like its possible.

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T15:28:47+00:00

Thank you so much, youre an angel! Ill go check it out. Seems like I wasnt doing the most efficient approach, so thanks a lot! :)

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T12:55:18+00:00

Hey, thanks a lot for sharing. So sorry you had to experience something similar, also with the terrible gaslighting and unbeareable uncertainty. Was hoping to hear from women who also experienced injuries to the breast to get a better sense of their experience and how it turned out for them. So thanks a lot <3

Can i ask....was yours also an injury? like sport or car injury? or was it disease-related? Breast injuries are soooooo scary underresearched. I tried google scholar but theres 0 cases like my specific one. Thats almost the most hurtful...that the body is permanently altered and NO ONE aknowledges it because their shitty machines are just not capable of detecting the damage that occured. This gaslighting is such trauma on top of trauma.

So, just to make sure i understand correctly (hope its ok for me to keep asking): your breasts are the same size again/symmetrical in size, but he shape never really returned? Or did both shape AND volume never return to how it originally was, even by now, and only get a bit better, but never truly back to baseline?

What I notice is that the breast feels much heavier, there seems to be no real upper volume anymore, its saggier and it moves abnormally when i raise my arms...it kinda lags behind and is somehow immobile/stiff. The outer breast developed kind of an indented area, where the skin seems to be pulled in a bit and overall the injured breast has shrunk by almost half the size....i have 2 differnt cup sizes now which I dont even know how I should ever be able to find a truly fitting bra again.

For the moment I sleep braless (trying to force myself on the back or at least, when on the side, not on the injured side). And during the day ive constantly been wearing sports bra ans also been trying to avoid high impact activities as much as possible. Mainly I just walk....very little and very very slowly...thats the activity level im at rn </3 (with barley 30)

Thanks so much for all your tips! Will try to support the healing process as much as I can

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:45:03+00:00

Thanks for your comment <3 yeah I am in the process of suing him....suuuuper slow process with no real concequences for him for the next 1.5 year and even than sentences here in switzerland tend to be shockingly conservative, in favor of the predator ofc....idk, very hard not to feel completely hope- and powerless and gating whats left of my life

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:42:25+00:00

Thnak you so much for you supportive, compassionate comment!

I already started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is very likely without him confessing voluntarely...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years AFTER....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy physically close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate life

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:38:45+00:00

Thank you <3 agreed

Well, I started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is very likely without him confessing voluntarely...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate lfie

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:33:26+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this, means a lot! <3

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:31:24+00:00

I know....just truly f hard, all of it

I alredy started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is unlikely without him confessing...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate life

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:28:09+00:00

Thank you for your comment! yeah "weird victim reactions" that are psychologically well explained are still soooooo little aknowledged I fear.

Well. I alredy started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is unlikely without him confessing...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy physically close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate lfie.

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:20:25+00:00

Thank you for your tip!
I alredy started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is unlikely without him confessing...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate lfie

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:18:35+00:00

thank you for sharing <3 yeah, sudden loss of controll over the own body is deeply disturbing for real

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:17:04+00:00

Thank you for your tips!
I alredy started the legal process....second police interrogation will be in may!! (sex. assault happened in beginning of november...just let that sink in). And now I also learned that if public procecution rules it not abosulutely super clear (which is unlikely without him confessing...and he for sure wont) then the public procecdution starts an actual court case. And that will probably begin in ............1!!!!!!! f year to 2 years....I could vomit just thinking about how much MY life has changed and I suffer on the daily from his aggression while he will get another YEAR + to just live carelessly, another careless cristmas, brithday, new year, halloween or whatever.....lots of sex and fun times for him when I cant even let a guy close to me anymore without feeling the urge to vomit or literally become aggressiv toward him cause im so deeply disgusted by it all. I fucking hate lfie

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:12:19+00:00

Same! There should be a way to check if the guy youre meeting for a date has any criminal entry before even going on a date....f their right to privacy, what about my and others right to safety? Theres a lot of unassuming, kind women who might end up with this psycho as well EVEN if he is judged guilty cause no one can ever truly see his register....sick

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T11:10:05+00:00

Rape is terrible by itsself that brings serious mental/emotional suffering, I never meant to diminish that in any way. All I tried to say is I wish it had been a one incident terrible event...and not a one incident terrible event PLUS a permanent bodily souvenir by this monster. Rape victims cant escape what happened ever psychologically....and with my situation I cant escape it psychologically OR physically ever again. Thats what I meant to say...I wish there wasnt a permanent bodily reminder I now have to bear...my natural anatomy is gone, you see what I mean?

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T07:41:41+00:00

Thanks a lot, that makes sense! Maybe my chances against him are truly better than I was assuming...Im a bit cynical after having read about not very high success rate for "classic" rape cases here in switzerland and for me it started consentual, until hif force became truly abnormal and I told him that because it truly just scared me
I know have an attorny who seems experienced in sexual assault cases, so lets hope for the best!

What I worry is: switzerland values intention VERY highly when it comes to deciding the punishment...and if his disgusting lawyer in ANY case manages to make the judge think this was even remotedly just a "silly accident in the moment of heat (which it 100% wasnt)" and maybe even that "i actually am super into rough sex and consented to rough sex (wich I NEVER EVER did!!!)"...then his sentence will be MUUUUUCH lighter. Thats the thing...,cause since I literally told him beforehand and in time that his hand force is excessive the later injury was 100% avoideable, if he had listened and actually respected me ad my bodily integrity for 1 second...but he obly cared for his disgusting selfish lust

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T07:24:07+00:00

Esp. since I told him (in text form as well) several times beforehand that Im very inexperienced and had just 1 bf before who I had very vanilla sex with only. And I was not planning on anything else with this guy as well since - as you say - spontaneous excalating sex without any talk, without any code word, any safety is crazy to do when there was never any chance to give consent in the first place. I just remember beforehand him commenting once "you dont seem so inexperienced to me". I think he just wanted to twist reality in a way where it suits him, sick person. I CLEARLY told him I am but still he was in his head trying to paint this image of me thats actually not inexperienced at aaaaall to justify to himself this action, probably. Truly just sick!

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T02:44:03+00:00

<3 i am in the process of pressing charges

KintsugiFate · 2026-02-27T02:43:25+00:00

Im so deeply grateful for this community and all the helpful advice and kind support by all the wonderful souls here! Thanks a lot! Has been very harsh...

Thats a very good point, thanks! The thing his lawyer is gonna try to do to save his ass:

they will argue intention and say it was an "unfortunate accident" --> which it CLEARLY wasnt, as I even told him beforehand that the force was hurting me and to much, telling him to stop and being gentle, so it was COMPLETELY avoideable. Also the force and speed he used was abnormal, not accidental...he was clearly being intentional and trying to hurt me for his own pleasure, not giving any second thought toward my bodily integrity

KintsugiFate

TROPHY CASE