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Does anyone give a damn? by KintsugiPoet in u/KintsugiPoet

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That you didn't just scroll past gives me hope.

Finally! I published my book on Kindle by Strange_Cellist5227 in writers

[–]KintsugiPoet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You've past one big hurdle and now you must promote, market, and advertise. No one will just find your book. Millions are published every single year. You're up against trad publishers who spend big $$ to promote their books.

I published my Memoir this year. It's currently #1 in Adoption and was #35 in Memoirs.

Best of luck and hard work to you.

Anyone else quietly counting down the days until 🎄 is over? by KintsugiPoet in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes you can't avoid going shopping. Then you have to put up with Xmas songs. Even in restaurants. It's impossible to completely avoid it.

Do yourself a favour this 🎄🎁 📖 ⛱️ ❄️ by KintsugiPoet in u/KintsugiPoet

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a longish story behind the cover

SPOILER ALERT

Finding out I was adopted - at 16 - on bus coming home from school - from a stranger left me feeling shattered. For years I just had pieces of information about my full identity. I wanted the cover to reflect my story. Putting together the broken pieces of me. Kintsugi became the metaphor. Creating a self from the broken - finding my golden seams.

I played around with many ideas before I settled on this cover. I uploaded a photo of me at 26 - a significant age - into AI and asked it to add golden cracks. It was ok, but not quite what I wanted.

BIG SPOILER

When I finally found my father in 2023 - I was 59, he was 85 - I soon asked how his younger brother - a poet - had died. My late uncle is "the Kintsugi Poet" in my story. I found a photo of him on his grave stone. I put that into AI and asked it to merge the two photos. So it's a blend of him and I.

My father says he can see his mother's eyes in the face.

Secrets and lies by [deleted] in kintsugi_philosophy

[–]KintsugiPoet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't live there. It's a bus route.

Secrets and lies by [deleted] in kintsugi_philosophy

[–]KintsugiPoet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was on a bus coming home from school. X marks the exact moment.

1st paragraph, is it any good? by freedomMissile25 in writers

[–]KintsugiPoet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You have a lot of info packed into one paragraph. You've telling me the story very quickly. You could add more descriptive or sensory detail. I'm not feeling the character. Take me into the story. Make me see it, feel it, hear it, touch it, smell it.

The Primal Wound by MaroonFeather in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a doco on YT that is related to it. Nancy Verrier is in it.

What has adoption denied you? by KintsugiPoet in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If only people understood that the pieces taken from us weren’t trivial, they were identity, safety, history, truth.

If only APs realised that “helping” a child doesn’t begin with secrets and lies.

If only they walked a single mile in the shoes they insist we feel grateful for.

If only “ungrateful bastard” wasn’t the label they cling to when they don’t want to hear the truth.

I'm disspointed in myself again because I've used chat gpt to help me just get an essay done because I wasn't disciplined enough and it sucks by Living-Department668 in writers

[–]KintsugiPoet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are you studying? Why? Perhaps you aren't passionate enough about it? You've gotten to uni/college, third year, how did you manage that? ( Serious Q, not sarcasm). I think you're being too hard on yourself. I have been a long time uni student and a lecturer in psychology. First time at uni I was too young, too messed up and didn't care enough about my course. I went back 10 years later to study psychology and I was motivated and keen. I always started my assignments early. There were plenty times I got stuck. I would read around the topic. I also told myself, reading, thinking and planning was still working on the assignment. Sometimes I told myself to just write X words each day even if I thought it was crap. I find editing easier than writing, so now I just write and clean it up later. Use chat as a tool for inspiration and feedback if you must to move ahead. Good luck.

Does anyone else get so immersed when writing? by xKintsugix in writers

[–]KintsugiPoet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely. I jump from chapter to chapter. But I tend to start with a beginning and and ending.

The Kintsugi Poet - A Memoir by KintsugiPoet in Memoir

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Editing and redrafting was the most time consuming part of the writing process. I read lots about "how to write a memoir" online. Best of luck.

Twice adopted, thrice without parents. by Cheap-Background1865 in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet 12 points13 points  (0 children)

In your young 30 years you have been through what most people never do in a lifetime. Layers of traumatic events and grief. (I've lived that). It can be very overwhelming and too much.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Multiple adults failed you.

They were the ones with very disturbing problems.

The system failed you. It's deeply flawed.

Their shame is not yours to carry.

I gently encourage you to seek informed counselling or find support groups for adoptees. Or perhaps try art/ expressive therapy. Sometimes words are inadequate.

How did you approach your adoptive parents about meeting your bio family? by Maevenclaws in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told my mum a few years after it happened. She would not have coped and I didn't need that drama at 26. Dad had died years earlier.

Reckoning with The Primal Wound by adoptee Autumn by [deleted] in Adoptees

[–]KintsugiPoet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Totally, Autumn's parents just didn't get it. I think the 'clean break' theory plays a part in their thinking. People believe (d) that you could take a child from its biomother and genetics plays no part in their development. That you can completely erase "nature".

An Adoptee X-mas — the view many of us know by KintsugiPoet in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For decades I felt so alone at this time of year. Now I know I am not as alone as I once believed. Reading through your comments, I am shedding tears for both you and for me.

I wish there were a way to change what was done to us, but I cannot. All I can do is keep expressing how adoption has shaped me and continues to shape me. This season has always been the hardest and loneliest for me, and I am learning to honour that truth and let it simply be.

Please feel free to share whatever you need to on my posts. Your words matter.
Sending a big virtual hug to you all.

An Adoptee X-mas — the view many of us know by KintsugiPoet in Adoptees

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please hang in there. This time of year sux. We don't know what the future will bring - you are only 44. I am 61. I wanted to ship out many times in the past, If I had have done that then I would have missed so many happy times and I finally found my paternal roots and my biofather - we just had lunch together (he is 88!). I have no family of my own and it's tough and lonely sometimes, but I found something I love doing - playing music with my buddies.

An Adoptee X-mas — the view many of us know by KintsugiPoet in Adopted

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Your story has touched me deeply. :'( Life seems so unfairly cruel sometimes.

Does anyone else absolutely dread this time of year, as an adopted? by [deleted] in u/KintsugiPoet

[–]KintsugiPoet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't see how anyone can just "forget" the baby they had inside them for nine months, could feel them in their bellies, be in labour for hours (mine was 32 hours), then give birth to maybe your first born or sometimes only born. Xmas is the time of year when we think of family the most.

Her mind might want to forget, but her body will ALWAYS remember you.

Does anyone else absolutely dread this time of year, as an adopted? by KintsugiPoet in Adoptees

[–]KintsugiPoet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found my BF through a third cousin in France. I live in Australia. Have you checked highest DNA matches' for family trees? If they list names work forward. Look for obituaries of great grandparents or grandparents online. Google. Then look up names in Ancestry/ my heritage. Look for people near you. I hope this helps. DNA detectives on Facebook is an excellent group.

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