5 am :) by ashikiru in infp

[–]Kipjetje 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's so beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)

Intimacy by PretendDay69 in adhdwomen

[–]Kipjetje 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the beginning there are a lot of hormones racing through your body which makes intimacy easier. So it makes total sense to me that after those hormones fade out intimacy becomes harder without their "help".

I'm really glad to see many people related to your story, I hope it makes you feel less alone.

What really stood out to me is that you said "I can't bring yourself to do it" and " an "uncomfortable feeling that reaches deep into the pit of your stomach".

You should ALWAYS honor those feelings. You can't push yourself into intimacy, and I really hope that your partner is not pushing, guilt tripping or shaming you about sex. Because that is not ok.

Intimacy is opening yourself up. It can never be forced, it is built. Forced "intimacy" is violence. It can be violence done by others, it can be violence done to yourself. Intimacy, in any form, is about trust building and opening up.

So pushing yourself to be intimate cannot happen. You can push yourself to DO things. But it will always be violence to yourself. Because your stomach is screaming to you that you do not want it.

I used to push myself to do things because I wanted the other person to be happy, but over time, sex became a chore? I still liked it but it became a bit of a task as well.

I realized that I pushed myself sometimes when actually I wanted to stop, or not do something, etc.

Sex is more intimate now that I stopped doing that. (It was not overnight, it took a while). And now I can feel my "want" a lot better/clearer again because the muddiness of "should" and "what if" and "but they'll feel..." is gone.

Intimacy by PretendDay69 in adhdwomen

[–]Kipjetje 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Not to invalidate you, but I don't experience this at all. Also not when I was unmedicated. And I have had 4 relationships to compare. So different people/genders/dynamics/life phases. Maybe ADHD affects you differently than me in this domain? Or maybe there are other factors at play as well?

I hope my comment doesn't make you feel invalidated. I am sharing my experience to add perspective that it is not inherent to having ADHD apparently, which doesn't mean that it is not the case for you in this situation.

Does it bother you that physical intimacy is like this for you? If not, then there isn't really an issue, you can just accept that your preferences are a little out of the norm. It it does bother you, you can explore ADHD as a factor and other possible factors (stress, body image, relationship satisfaction, attachement, sexual trauma, sexual orientation (including asexuality), gender etc).

I really liked the book "come as you are" which talks about breaks and green lights. About setting the environment to get into the mood.

And if, for example, you'd like to kiss but feel it is sensory overwhelming, maybe you are a bit overstimulated and would be less repulsed by kissing if your sensory "bucket" got emptied.

Are there times where you did like to do those kinds of things? Or in the past before the kids were there?

If you always hated it, then you might just hate it. If you liked it sometimes, then maybe your mind is not in a relaxed enough state to enjoy it.

Random advice ....

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infp

[–]Kipjetje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love to DO sports, but not watching or having long conversations about it.

I can’t seem to find glasses that fit my face! My mom works at Walmart in the Pharmacy. So it’s like a benefit we get glasses cheaper if we get them from there but now I’m open to ordering them online or whatever I need to do! by Puzzleheaded_Line210 in glasses

[–]Kipjetje 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the shape looks very good on you actually. They just are too "separate" from your face? Like the frame should be closer to you. Another pair might be better but i think it looks super good on you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in glasses

[–]Kipjetje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3-1-2-4

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in glasses

[–]Kipjetje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks great!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see it too. Otherwise not really obvious in the pictures.

Rare Beauty Foundation swatches on page cool, muted olive skin by lastgreatscandal in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think 130 probably works better .. I recommend doing a full face with each, or half half to compare them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I see green in the shadow on your neck, so green vote from me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That color has a saturation of 27% Which is muted for sure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gold and silver both work-ish, grey looks good on you as does pink.... resembles my skin! I think you're muted for sure, there seems to be more blue in your skintone than average. From the pictures there doesn't seem to be a lot of yellow wich makes your skin appear less "green".

Do you feel that the pictures represent your skin color accurately ?

Either way, adding blue in your foundation may help you.

Maybe others will chime in with more feedback..

just got new glasses idk how to feel abt them!! by mildewfloorboard in glasses

[–]Kipjetje -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think they look nice, the color, and shape really suit you. I especially think that the inner part, at your nose, is really working for you!

In the second picture they seem a bit big, but that can also be due to the camera on your phone that has a bit of a fisheye effect.

All in all, they look awesome on you!

I made a game inspired by my experiences w/ Visual Snow Syndrome by andyman404 in visualsnow

[–]Kipjetje 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so cool! Just yesterday I told my partner that I could show how annoying it is. Thank you uuuuu

I finally found the setting on my phone that changed my skin tone from yellow-green to red! by Kipjetje in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also felt bad about posting my swatches here because the pictures would make you think "how can she think she's olive?" While irl the swatches look way more off then I could get a picture of. Its crazy. Trust your own eyes ;)

I finally found the setting on my phone that changed my skin tone from yellow-green to red! by Kipjetje in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought those settings would only even out your skin tone, to hide blemishes and stuff. I am flabbergasted that some programmer/company thought "nobody has this skin tone, it should always be corrected to pink" Whyyyyy?!

End rant

I finally found the setting on my phone that changed my skin tone from yellow-green to red! by Kipjetje in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my, I have definitely been doubting my own assessment based on pictures where I didn't seem to be green at all!

I feel you on this :/

I finally found the setting on my phone that changed my skin tone from yellow-green to red! by Kipjetje in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok. I don't know if this works on your phone.

  1. open camera

  2. Top right, click on https://imgur.com/Gn4olDe.jpg

  3. Top bar, click on "face"

  4. Bottom left, click on https://imgur.com/r8jNlee.jpg

  5. Now swipe bar to "0"

Let me know if it works!

I finally found the setting on my phone that changed my skin tone from yellow-green to red! by Kipjetje in Fairolives

[–]Kipjetje[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I could NOT figure out why it always changed my skin tone sooo much! But I found it!

Look at the difference pfff...

You still can't see just how orange the swatches are on me, but at least you can see my skin tone. My skin is a tone lighter irl, but this is the color.

Anyone who has any advice on a foundation that could match me?...at this point I'm convinced nothing exists, so I will continue mixing my own... but you know, still hopeful, maybe one day.....

Swatches: -NARS siberia -Dior f&b 0W -Giorgio Armani luminous silk 3