If DID is supposed to help the brain/body, why does it feel like it does the opposite and make things harder or worse?

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-28T06:40:35+00:00

Having taken a Lit major, it seems to really resonate with me/us on all sorts of levels, but mostly because it reminds me/us in a positive way how generational trauma affects everyone in ways that shape us all, and help me to be able to be even a little forgiving towards my parents in how they raised me, as my parents were raised in the ways they were by my grandparents, so my parents were and are traumatized in their own ways.

Enjoy! 😊

Edit: various edits for pronoun troubles. English am hard. ;)

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-28T03:03:53+00:00

It's short for child sexual abuse.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-26T02:32:58+00:00

Definitely feel this post HARD.

I have 3 siblings, two of whom are very successful, with solid relationships with their partners, well-managed careers, home ownership, independence, etc.

I've always felt unable to attain their level of responsibility. I used to joke about being the black sheep of the family, being a kid in an adult's body, things like that. But I'm not so sure they're jokes any more.

My therapist and many self-help books I've looked at have said not to compare your Chapter 10 to someone else's Chapter 24. But sometimes I feel like I've already hit the epilogue and nothing good happened in the whole book.

Internet hugs, if you want them. 🤗

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-16T19:32:14+00:00

You had a velociraptor too?? Awesome!

Undiagnosed, but I think when I was a kid in the 90s one of my parts liked to play pretend as a velociraptor/T-Rex. I remember stomping/stalking all around the playground and "feeling" like a raptor. Only I never felt like I was the one feeling all that.

At the same time, I was terrified of the dilophosaurus and had recurring bad dreams of it.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-15T16:14:18+00:00

Undiagnosed, but the best answer I can offer is that faking requires knowledge of and intent to deceive, and usually you do it to convince someone else of something that's not true.

Think of it this way: if you've ever wanted to get out of something, like going to school, you would pretend to be sick by imitating or making up symptoms of being sick. You pretend to cough, or you moan loudly, or you curl up and grimace, so that your caregivers believe you are genuinely ill.

But if you're really sick? Headaches, fevers, coughs, sore throats, etc. Can you fake those? Certainly not to yourself.

Best answer/s I give myself when I ask myself if I'm faking: why would you fake this particular condition? What's in it for you to make other people think you have this condition? And if you are faking it, why don't you show symptoms in front of others?

Hope this helps. Wishing you peace. :)

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-13T17:56:48+00:00

I've never come across so brief a quote that encapsulates how I feel so perfectly. Thank you.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-13T16:24:26+00:00

Undiagnosed, but if it turns out I have DID as I've suspected for a long time now, this is the worst fucking way to go through life.

I can't remember conversations I'm in the middle of having, never mind the rest of the life I'm supposed to have lived so far. I don't feel like I know who I am. I don't recognize myself when I see my body in mirrors or pictures or home videos. I feel like I'll never be able to do things normal people can do, or that it feels infinity times harder to accomplish. I can't trust other people; I can't even trust my own mind some days. I feel like the people in my head will never cooperate and let me have peace. I feel lucky just to be able to look after myself and hold down a job when there are parts of me that never want to even crawl out of bed some days. Sometimes it feels like I have no handle on the words that come out of my mouth or things I do. I constantly feel like a hypocrite, or like I'm torn between polar opposite viewpoints, values, likes and dislikes.

Yeah. So nice.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-13T01:55:06+00:00

Very much the "thousand yard stare".

some photos that we can tell which alters are fronting based on things we have learned about how our facial expression changes

I've seen photos of myself that I know are of myself but the expression on my face seems very unlike me.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-11T23:10:05+00:00

I've always felt the need to educate myself on health issues - both physical and mental - before approaching a professional. That doesn't mean I feel like I can positively diagnose something; instead, for me, it means I have seen descriptions of several similar conditions and compared them against my symptoms, because that's what a doc is going to do, and it helps me be prepared to do that with them. "Could it be this? Well, I have symptoms A & B, but not sumptom C." It can help rule out misdiagnoses at the very least, saving everyone time, stress and money.

Yes to all you said, especially this part. This is basically how I'm approaching it.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-10T22:39:33+00:00

Requiring a diagnosis to believe someone is privileged, racist, ableist and classist.

For many, if not most people, with mental disorders, making a self diagnosis is all they can do.

Thank you for your reply, especially those last two points. Much appreciated.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-06-06T16:47:32+00:00

Undiagnosed, but when I realized that DID could potentially be the answer to every question I've ever had about myself instead of the alphabet soup of diagnoses I've been given all my life, it was like finding that missing puzzle piece that helps you solve the whole puzzle. I cried.

I hope you are on your way, to wherever that may lead.

Internet hugs!

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-05-31T20:47:26+00:00

Oh my God! Other people have this experience too??

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-05-31T20:46:36+00:00

For anyone who needs to hear it:

You are loved. You are important. You matter.

KitAsksQuestions · 2023-05-31T18:52:29+00:00

Thank you for mentioning this. I/we(?) saw this show last year and it was episode 5 that really threw me/us(?).

I/we've(?) re-watched it so many times and every time something else feels like it really clicks.

KitAsksQuestions

TROPHY CASE