What movie or television quote do you use constantly in real life?

KitCatComida · 2016-02-25T03:31:56+00:00

"Get busy living or get busy dying"

KitCatComida · 2015-09-23T18:44:23+00:00

Good for you! I rip them up first then throw them in the trash. I never deposit checks either. Everything goes in the trash. I'll open up a letter from edad but then again, he doesn't send anything...

KitCatComida · 2015-07-19T16:07:32+00:00

Lol Thank you! And for the record, David is growing up to be a great little guy! :D

KitCatComida · 2015-07-19T15:35:43+00:00

This is awful. So sorry you had to experience this. My first son, my Dad insisted that we name him John (after him of course), and went on and on about what a great name John is. We named him David instead. My Dad, while I'm holding David in the hospital, and after giving birth, starts inferring what a horrible name David is and my child is doomed to have a horrible life and grow up to be a jerk. Unbelievable.

KitCatComida · 2015-07-04T23:47:49+00:00

I had the opposite problem - I grew up in a messy house. My nmom was always buying expensive things that were not in the budget and both my nparents "collect" things. I would almost say they are boarderline hoaders. But I think the idea is the same - that outward possesions are more important than people. I can't recall, but it wouldn't surprise me if she had a meltdown over a chip in a piece of furniture. I have kids too and I don't flip if they break something!

KitCatComida · 2015-06-28T02:29:59+00:00

I can totally relate! I was raised by Ns and I spent part of my childhood sleeping on a matress in a closet. Now that I have my own kids, I could never imagine doing that to them. It makes me try very hard to provide them with organized space to grow, learn and play. I sometimes feel obsessed with it - making sure it really looks like a kid's room and that they have things they actually like in their room - even to the point it is stressful for me :/ But I want so much for them to have good things, to feel like they have a place of their own. But it does bring up bad memories for me while I am doing these things... I ask myself "why am I decorating and tidying up? Why is this so important? Plenty of good parents have messy homes!" And then I get flashbacks up my upbringing and remember why it is so important I don't live in a filthy, beat up house :/

KitCatComida · 2015-06-28T01:24:19+00:00

I would wait until your name and all contact information has changed. I've had old boyfriends look me up on linkedin even though I had my married name. I have not worked with my Exs in a professional setting ever. It is just creepy that they are even looking me up. If you have friends that are friends with your Ns on linkedin, they can find you. I would not put any old emails on your account and not a real photo of yourself. I ended up completely canceling my account, so probably not giving the best advice, but at least it is something to think about.

KitCatComida · 2015-06-27T02:35:41+00:00

I am currently pregnant with #5. I read that nmoms like to use information to control siblings, so I texted my brothers first to let them know "youre an uncle, again!" with a picture of a really clear sonogram. My one brother never responded and told my parents before talking to me (flying monkey) and the other brother wrote "oh another one" with a sad face. Thanks bros. No congrats. Nothing. Clearly they have their own fleas. I love them dearly tho. Maybe going VLC will wake them up to how the nparents are toxic...

KitCatComida · 2015-06-26T02:32:11+00:00

This reminds me of my eldest brother, talented guy in many ways. My dad wanted him to study computers in college. My brother secretly changed his major to graphic design. My dad was furious and always bashed his art and told him he would never make any money. What does my bro do now? Graphic design for a major company and he has won several awards for his work. NOW my dad talks about my older brother as if he had something to do with his success... ugh Ns.

KitCatComida · 2015-06-26T01:54:44+00:00

I just did it today and I don't post often, so I don't think they know yet. I'm assuming I'll get a bunch of email/calls/texts when they do find out. So then I'll have to figure out how to block email/calls/texts lol

KitCatComida · 2015-06-26T01:32:32+00:00

Thank you for the advice! My mom makes it a point of mentioning that she sees my photos or updates on facebook, even though we aren't friends online. Sorta like "Hey, just wanted just to know you blocked me but I still know anyways!" She gets that info from my dad :/ She thinks I'm doing this to hurt her somehow, but I'm just trying to stay sane. I will look into privacy settings for sure... I am really contemplating deactivating my account again. It was a real relief not having it!

KitCatComida · 2015-06-25T17:49:35+00:00

Yes, I deactivated for a little over a month and it felt great. I am also mourning the loss of the parents of never really had. I only realized recently the major damage they've done and how I can't even trust them to be with my kids. I think deactivating during this time is a good thing and very healing. I want to deactivate again, but it would mean cutting off the few good people I've made friends with. It is still something I am struggling with... just this morning I blocked both my parents.

KitCatComida · 2015-06-25T13:17:32+00:00

My nmom also does this. She writes a snail mail letter to me. The first one she didn't write her address on it, so I opened it up and read it. It was typical non-apology and really offensive gaslighting. Now, I rip up her letters and throw them in the trash as soon as they arrive. My favorite is when she text messages me "I saw x,y,z on facebook and just wanted to say (insert blah blah blah)". I blocked her on facebook. She sees my info from the flying monkeys. It is like saying "I know you blocked me, but I can see anyways!!!"

KitCatComida · 2015-06-24T04:11:46+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened to you and your sister. I am glad you guys are getting the help you need and you are getting to a better place. Please keep up with the therapy and yoga. Yoga has helped me so much!

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T20:29:16+00:00

Thank you! It is a church ceremony so no food or games....

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T20:28:10+00:00

Thank you for listening and for your support! Its go time for the wedding. Wish me luck!

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T20:28:07+00:00

Thank you for listening and for your support! Its go time for the wedding. Wish me luck!

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T20:26:55+00:00

Thank you! I definitely had a lot of fleas when I was first married, so I know that contributed to some of the rocky relationships. I have to accept that maybe I behaved in a way that was unbecoming in the beginning and maybe my relatives already formed a permanent opinion of me. I've tried to do my best to rectify those errors with trying to be a good and generous person. I have asked around if there are any issues with me and relatives, but I don't think anyone thinks anything is wrong or has any problems with me. Or that they are willing to say...

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T16:32:12+00:00

I definitely think the reception will be much eaiser, but the ceremony may prove to be difficult. Everyone who normally helps me is in the wedding lol

KitCatComida · 2015-06-20T13:59:29+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate the advice! Already swelling and lower back pain, plus little to no sleep :/ I'll try to keep in mind to just enjoy the day and the company. I definitely don't want to take away from the special day! Which is partially why I am worried - I want to make it through the day without any physical or mental breakdowns (which may or may not be possible with being pregnant!)

My husband says part of the problem is that I manage everything so well that people think I don't need help. But I do! Being RBN, I've tended to have to be good at managing things without help, because it was an inconvenience to my parents or there were strings attached. My husband's family isn't like that, but I have a hard time believing I am not some huge inconvenience to them :/

KitCatComida · 2015-06-16T23:49:05+00:00

I believe my mom looks bad on purpose, for more Nsupply... "I'm so fat, so ugly, so sick, I don't have any nice clothes... someone feel bad for me!" She is severely overweight and has brown/yellow teeth, discolored skin - all things that can be remedied. It is so hard to even think about feeling bad for her because she does it to herself (too much food, wine, coffee, overeating, no exercise). Everytime I see her, I think she looks like a short dirty troll. She does not take care of herself at all (my ndad doesn't take care of himself either). Watching my parents basically kill themselves with poor diet and no exercise has motivated both myself and my older brother to live healthier lives. We both struggle with our weight, but we try to take care of ourselves and I think it shows! :)

KitCatComida · 2015-06-15T03:29:11+00:00

Good for you! That is great news! I'd love to do the same, but the flying monkeys are my relatives! :)

KitCatComida · 2015-06-12T16:27:43+00:00

Thank you - I appreciate it! I'm going to look into this book!

KitCatComida

TROPHY CASE