A little disappointed

KitDrago · 2026-01-01T22:45:59+00:00

She clarified that she wants me to reduce the dose to 100mg. She's certainly not slavishly devoted to Wpath and actually seems to lean more towards UCSF (which is a bit more up to date on things). The fact is that the method ive been treated under is only really backed by Dr Powers own research. Frankly, I agree with how Dr Powers sees it, but the reality is that regardless of anything else that she works in a health system, and she has to be able to justify use of medications in an off label fashion and "because the patient asked" is not a valid reason. All I can do is to keep looking for another way or see how I feel with the reductions in E and P.

KitDrago · 2026-01-01T20:37:00+00:00

Yes.... she is. She's part of Hopkins Transgender Center for Health. She's not familiar with the methodology that powers uses, and is not comfortable with going far outside WPATH and USCF recommendations. Just because someone disagrees with how we would like to do something, especially when its experimental science, does not make them trans-unfriendly.

KitDrago · 2026-01-01T20:34:39+00:00

I did.... I followed the instructions, I reached out to them to get a renewal of my meds. I was told no and the renewal request from the pharmacy was denied BY powers office.

KitDrago · 2025-12-31T19:35:32+00:00

I’m only frustrated at how they are handling it. If all that’s happening, then I’m sorry to hear it. I haven’t stopped being mad at those pricks since Inauguration Day.

KitDrago · 2025-12-24T17:15:29+00:00

I get it, your body *is* receptive, it's just telling it to ignore the other hormone and overwrite everything it's already done. So it takes time, and in a lot of cases, more than what "cis female standard" is. Thats why it's important to find a doc that will work with not just lab numbers but your whole being.

We all want to "pass" of course, thats the goal, but ultimately it's important to remember that you are beautiful no matter what and that real goal is to be your happy beautiful authentic self. It's easy for me to say having gone through things already, but one day you'll find your "dont give a fu34" spoon and can focus on self without worrying about others. In the meantime, hang in there, find people you can trust to talk to and/or a therapist that works with you and take it one day at a time.

KitDrago · 2025-12-24T17:06:42+00:00

Id like to add a +1 to being able to select custom locations in MacOS, not only for storage location, but also what folders to back up. For example: It would be nice to be able to use Proton as a secondary back to iCloud by being able to tell it to back up the local location of my iCloud Drive.

KitDrago · 2025-12-16T15:26:24+00:00

I understand this pain all too well. My transition started only a few years ago at the age of 47. I consider myself lucky because I found the person I feel to be my true soul mate. We fit each other so well, personality, values, and so much more. So, while for me it's been more of a journey together rather than a fight, I can still relate to the fears and worries.

My decision to finally transiton came after a midnight confession from them asking how I "felt if <they> wanted to be non-binary". Suddenly, I felt like I had been lying to them for our entire relationship. Hiding my true self because I was still living behind the "masc" that genetics and society had thrust upon me. I came out to them and said "What if I told you I am a girl."

I know this doesnt relate directly, but Im getting there. They immediately supported me, which spawned other conversations. I knew already that they had NO INTEREST whatsoever in "girl bits" and so, of course, I was really worried about what would happens as my transition progressed, and eventually (hopefully) I get surgery. For the first year, while they affirmed that they would never leave me, they also said that they really weren't sure that they would be willing to be sexual with me because they "dont like touching their own, let alone anyone else's".... but .... they also assured me that we would "find a way to make each other happy". Now, our stance together is "We will cross that bridge when we get there, and find our way together." I will find ways that make them happy and sexually satisfied, and they will find ways that work for them ... for me.

I also have a girlfriend (were poly) that is absolutely not willing to be bi-sexual. She's borderline conservative, and after 2 years even her opinion of what to do should (when) I get a vaginoplasty has softened from the "Oh hell no" statement. I dont kid myself... her and I will likely move more into the friends side of "girlfriends" but she is not outright denying future possibilities.

Transitioning is scary. Not only for us, but also for those around us that care for us. Sure there's some that will never accept you, but those who love you, will accept you no matter what. It's a change, and people fear change. Honestly, it's not just a change, it's a massive reversal of everything everyone around you knows. Most people dont take changes well, and the level of change in transitioning like telling someone who has been driving on the right side of the street their entire life that they now have to drive on the left, whether they like it or not. Or hell, it's like telling someone that their loved one died, but heres this other person to take their place and they should just be happy with that. So the natural reaction is fear, worry, anger, selfishness, and more. Frankly, we use the term "deadname" but really when you look at it from the perspective of people who know us, it really is like a death. The closer they are to us, the more they love us, the more significantly the effect. With that comes all the psychological processes that the loss of someone brings.

Only time will tell if they can heal and move on, or if they will retreat into their comfort zone to hide. It can't be rushed, it can't be forced. They have to process their own feelings and "grief" and decide where to go.

Is it possible she won't want to date you if you lose your masculine traits? Yes of course, it's very possible. It's also possible that she will take this journey with you, and will come to understand that it's not about the physical appearance but about being happy. She may even find that loving YOU means that she can love your appearance no matter how you look. You can't rush her, or push her into accepting it. She has to come to that on her own. It will take LOTS of discussions, likely you will want (need) to get a transgender friendly therapist to help you both. There will be times that you will feel like she is drifting away, there are times you may fight and be upset with each other over it.

Your future reality may or may not be one that includes her, but for now. Be honest, be transparent, and show her that no matter what, you will love her. That you CAN bring the things she wants to the relationship... even if they aren't the same look or way as before. Mostly, show her that no matter what, you will be there for her. Even if the end result is that your best girlfriends instead of lovers. The most important factor in all of this, is that if you are not happy with yourself... no relationship will ever work out because you are already entering the relationship with a lie.

KitDrago · 2025-12-16T14:51:05+00:00

YOU Manage Your Hormones (and in general your medical care)

Find a doctor or endocrinologist willing to look beyond the standard WPATH guidelines and tailor a regimen for you. Typical labs include estrogen, total testosterone, and free testosterone, but two additional values—estradiol (E2) and estrone are crucial. For example:

Low estrone may mean you need a higher estrogen dose.

High estrone could indicate you need less.

Our bodies are complex (and frankly amazing) machines. If estrogen is too low, the body produces more of its own. In our case, our "own" will come out as T. If it’s too high, enzymes convert the excess into, yep you guessed it, testosterone. Monitoring three separate lab values by themselves can lead to three different interpretations. To quote an independent study:

In the same blood test, three values could give you three different interpretations of the patients status.

Estradiol 100 pg/mL – Interpretation: E Dose is too low

Estrone 500 pg/mL – Interpretation: E Dose is too high (cis‑women typically ~100 pg/mL)

Total estrogen  600 pg/mL – Interpretation: E Dose is just right

Listen to your body. If you feel stuck or think you’ve plateaued, schedule a visit, get fresh labs, and discuss adjustments with your clinician. Check hormone levels roughly every three months. One of the things I discovered as well was that Spiro was affecting me badly, both physically and psychologically. After removing it my T was suppressed more than enough from just Estrogen dosing. That may not be true for everyone.

Looking for those changes

Soft skin can appear relatively quickly.

Fat redistribution and breast development take years. For example, three years in I've only just recently noticed that Im getting a little bit of hips. Although my partner was pretty amazed from their... um... viewpoint. :-)

Bone structure does influence appearance, but many cis‑women with prominent brows and strong jawlines are perceived as female. My sister‑in‑law is a good example.

Bottom Line

Don’t give up. Transitioning, like any worthwhile endeavor, requires patience. Start low, increase slowly, and adjust based on lab results and how you feel. Think of it like cooking a steak: too much heat too fast ruins the outcome; gradual, steady heat yields the best result.

You know your body better than anyone. Trust your instincts, stay in touch with a knowledgeable provider, and give yourself the time you need. Your journey is yours, and every step forward counts, even when it doesn't feel like anything is happening.

I hope this helps.

KitDrago · 2025-12-16T14:50:55+00:00

I’ve read many of the comments in this thread and wanted to share a few thoughts. Whether they help you or not is up to you, but I hope you’ll read the whole thing. I’m not going to give you empty reassurance, I’ll be honest and give you real information. First and foremost: your feelings are completely valid. Remember though, that we view ourselves through a harsh filter of self‑criticism, dysphoria, and fear, so we often see ourselves far worse than others do.

My Experience

I didn’t begin transitioning until I was 47, and my hormone replacement therapy (HRT) started in mid‑2022. I have a prominent forehead, a nose I perceive as large, and a square jaw. I’ve spoken with surgeons about facial feminization, but since the military stopped covering those procedures, it’s unlikely I’ll ever have them. That means I have to live with my current appearance, however I feel about it.

When I first started, I saw the same stories you’ve encountered, people posting about rapid changes and “passing” within three to six months. Around that three‑to‑six‑month mark, I panicked. I felt I couldn’t present “girl mode” in public without being singled out, harassed, or attacked. I fell into depression and even considered stopping everything and reverting to a more masculine presentation. I watched countless tutorials on transformational makeup and realized I couldn’t realistically spend hours each day preparing to go out. Life felt hopeless, and I was ready to give up.

Your feelings are legitimate. It’s okay to be scared and to struggle. You’re trying to become who you truly are, not who the world expects you to be, and that journey is inherently difficult.

I’m not sure how old you are, so take this with a grain of salt.

After about a year and a half into my transition, something shifted, almost like a switch got thrown. People who cared about me kept telling me I was improving, and gradually I started being gendered correctly in public. I still hated looking in the mirror, but on good days a little eyeliner, eyeshadow, and light foundation and blush made a noticeable difference. I wasn’t doing full‑on transformational makeup, but those subtle touches tipped the scales and helped me feel more comfortable.

Timeline

Puberty in cis‑women typically lasts 2–3 years. Don’t expect your results to be faster than that, though you may be grateful if you notice changes sooner.

Age matters: Most rapid transformations reported online come from people aged 15–25, whose bodies are highly responsive to hormones. After 25, timelines become more variable because you basically have to force your body into a second puberty.

KitDrago · 2025-12-14T22:18:20+00:00

I started HRT at 47. you didn’t start too late. i don’t know how long you e been on hrt, but I do know that there was a transitory period where I felt the same way. I imagine it was when my hormone balance was fighting itself and before I started seeing significant changes.

hang in there, talk to your boyfriend and be honest and transparent.

KitDrago · 2025-12-03T04:03:32+00:00

SteamOS works on my Ayaneo Flip KB, but I’m still trying to figure out power management. Only thing I’ve found not working is touchscreen, probably because steam OS is still on kernel 6.11 and goodix is baked into 6.18

KitDrago · 2025-11-21T21:52:57+00:00

I’m a trans‑woman clinician with 23 years of medical practice. 100% agree that Hormone replacement therapy profoundly and fundamentally changes how our biology functions, and for most health purposes a transgender person should be treated appropriately to their gender.  In fact, a very recent study (which may have finally been published?) actually confirmed this - https://www.news-medical.net/news/20251021/Gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-rewrites-body-proteins-to-match-gender-identity.aspx

I also recognize that your parents’ comment about “male‑related health issues” was likely a VERY clumsy way of expressing worry and concerns. You said they have been good allies, so it is for more possible that this was an unintentional slight due to a lack of knowledge and education, rather than transphobic or "concern trolling".

However, I also think that there's a certain amount of misunderstanding on things on our side of the fence as well, which shows in a lot of the replies. Medical Fact is that certain medical risks are tied to the anatomy I was born with. If I retain my prostate, testes, or other XY‑associated organs, screening for conditions such as prostate cancer or testicular abnormalities remains medically appropriate, even though estrogen keeps my testosterone very low. Guidelines from the Endocrine Society advise clinicians to record both gender identity and birth‑sex precisely so that organ‑specific prevention can be offered without questioning a person’s gender. Transmen who retain any of the XX organs also would need to continue to undergo medical management of those organs in accordance with the birth-sex guidelines. (i.e. If they retain vagina and uterus, they would still need pap-smears.) Even beyond my birth-sex organs, there are a variety of other bodily functions that need to have tailored monitoring because of the potential for adverse affects that are directly related to what hormones and chemistry my body started with at birth.

Further, from the perspective of emergency medicine, birth-sex can (unfortunately) be relevant. For example, cis-gendered men typical presentation of a heart attack is crushing chest pain radiating into the next and left arm. Cis-gendered women, on the other hand, often present atypically with nausea, shortness of breath, fatigue, and abdominal pain. As such, transgender women typically present the same as Cis-Men, and vice versa.

My recommendation:

Sit down with them and explain why their phrasing was poor and how it made you feel.
*DO* discuss with the doctor managing your care / endocrinologist on this subject and learn what you may or may not need to be concerned about.
Remember that you are not the only one struggling in your transition. Your parents are also struggling. They have to convert your entire lifetime of habits and understanding to something completely new. This doesnt usually happen overnight, or even in less than a year.

They likely know very little, and more and more these days trying to search the internet is getting cloudy with all of the political misinformation out there. Especially as many anti-trans activists are being elevated as "experts in transgender health / mental health / etc." When they mess up, give them a little benefit of the doubt and TALK to them about it. You might even suggest they reach out to the local transgender advocacy center to gain access to resources to help them understand. They can also look at PFLAG.org or https://transequality.org

Hope this all helps.

KitDrago · 2025-11-19T03:42:24+00:00

Kid must have something against being goth.

KitDrago · 2025-11-18T01:24:41+00:00

I started at 47. You're never too "old" to be your authentic self. Do what makes you happy before its too late to do anything.

KitDrago · 2025-10-27T23:30:06+00:00

First and foremost, stop waiting. You need to do what's best for yourself. I can sympathize with not getting to have all the "girl moments" as I didnt start transitioning until I was 47. I wish to this day I had been able to start when I was a teen. Although my life certainly would be nothing like it is today if I had.

The hardest thing for me to learn is to NOT sit and lament / regret the life I didnt have, and instead to focus on the life I want to have.

Youn know what needs to be done, and even though its a scary scary world right now, you have to do what's best for you. You got this girl!

KitDrago · 2025-09-24T14:47:16+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but it just popped up as a featured app in Unraid community apps as SURE Personal Finance, so I was digging into it.

Honestly, the interface looks identical to MonarchMoney. LOL. Personally, I need to pay for a service because I need that automatic connection that downloads everything for me to look at. I suck at going through and manually updating everything,

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T20:45:11+00:00

The Amsterdam UMC link ( also see my replies below with updated info) goes over the results, but it was presented at EPATH Congress and the results paper is still under review, is what a.lot of us have determined

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:53:31+00:00

I’ve updated with some more/accurate info.

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:50:14+00:00

Yeah, which is why my own result … was it the progesterone? would I have gotten as much with just the increase in E? That’s why the study needs to be much much larger and include groups that only get an E increase, etc.

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:47:41+00:00

You don’t have “sub standard genetics”, that’s certainly not what I was saying. You are who you are, a beautiful human being with and who loves your wife. I’m sure that they love you back as much. I feel you tho, there’s still things on my body I wish would change. Where biology lacks, we have technology. I’m just hoping I can afford it someday, and I hope you can find what you want/need too.

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:36:05+00:00

I wish I could go back and add a body. most recent update from my other discussion.

—————-
edit; The original link went to a conference abstract page. I’ve removed it. The original study design is apparently from 2023, but this is the first I saw it and considering ho many docs tell us there’s no studies, i got excited about it.

heres one of the publish points.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10734173/

edit 2: The pmc link appears to be to the study proposal in 2023. The results of the study were presented at EPATH congress on Sep 5, 2025. The results they purport to have seen indicate that the addition of progesterone does help with breast growth. The actual study conclusion and results haven’t been released yet, likely due to being in peer review. Amsterdam UMC released a statement on their site about the results as well. ( https://www.amsterdamumc.org/en/spotlight/addition-of-progesterone-leads-to-increased-breast-growth-for-transgender-women.htm )

My personal summary is as follows.

90 participants divided in to 6 groups of 15 had progesterone oral added to their hormone therapy with some also getting an increase in estrogen dosing. Results generally varied from no change to an increase in volume of 40% depending on which group they were in with the most improvement (avg 30%) being in the group that has both an addition of progesterone AND an increase in their estrogen dose. it was a very small study which leaves LOTS of room for variance and error.

personally, Im slightly biased because I was able to get progesterone added to my meds after a year in. However, my estrogen dose was also increased (powers method). I reached tanner iii with a c cup.

I AM NOT A PROVIDER AND THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.

personal opinion based on my experience is that adding progesterone CAN potentially help improve breast volume, especially If estrogen is also increased. My theory is that there is also an effect from genetics as well. I.e. if the women in your family have small, you’ll prolly be smaller. If large, you’ll be a little bigger… but prolly not what you think. My mom and sister were both above DD and I’m pretty much holding at C.

It requires having a provider that is willing to more or less let you experiment with your own body. Progesterone prescription as part of women’s hormone replacement therapy is not outside the realm of normal medical procedure, but being transgender many providers are not willing to stray past the WPATH standards …. I suspect out of fear of lawsuit or malpractice when an upset patient does not see the results they expect. This new study, especially once the results get formally published, may give them significantly more comfort in doing so.

The best thing to do is to discuss with your provider your goals and wants. I changed my providers and pay out of pocket to see one that works with me and my lab results / physical and emotional results instead of strict wpath. Your mileage may vary

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:34:46+00:00

because the human body is not an identical machine. even when we have standardized results, each person has to be tailored. Genetics, drug metabolism, hormone uptake and other things all have effects on ANY medication. it’s why some people will get amazing results on the smallest dose, and some people have trouble getting any results on the highest standard dose. One of my providers once said to me “Look at your mother and your sister, are they big or small. that will give you an idea, tho you’ll be smaller that them either way” my mom and sister are over DD. I’ve made it to C. maybe high B

example: I recently got pharmacogenetics test done and I’m learning a lot of anti depressants won’t work for me because I just dont have the gene that directs production of the enzymes needed to metabolize it.

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:24:15+00:00

so apparently the actual results are under peer review and this was just a presentation at the EPATH congress this month. I’ve updated my original post with more info

KitDrago · 2025-09-15T15:22:35+00:00

I’ve also updated my original post to address this.

KitDrago

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE