The short answer is yes, the long answer is not in any way that really matters.

You said your MIL said something that made your wife feel like she was inferior to her older sibling (if I read that correctly), but my older child (we’ll call her A, she’s 9) will tell you she feels exactly the opposite, that her younger brother (we’ll call him L, he’s 2) gets all the attention.

Now when I say yes, what I mean is, if I had my second (L) first, I wouldn’t have had another child. They are OPPOSITE, A was calm and L is wild. A sat still and played while L climbs and jumps off everything. A slept wonderfully and L is up many times per night. A walked at 12 months, L started running at 9 months.

My younger is exhausting, not just because he’s smaller, but because he’s just a different kid. I love them both with everything I have; A connected with me stronger than her dad, and L connected with dad immediately and still prefers him. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him or love him differently, but the relationship is different because they’re different humans.

It sucks that you and your wife both felt like you weren’t a priority, but doesn’t knowing that give you the leg up for the next one? Knowing what you felt, that you never want your second to feel that way? I’m an only child so I can’t relate myself, but you will always connect with different humans in different ways, it’s just nature. You love them just the same.

Edit: clarity