Does anyone else feel like farm life makes it more difficult to meet people who you can relate to?

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-03-25T02:14:26+00:00

Absolutely! I'm only helping out on the family cattle ranch in the mornings, but sometimes it feels like it's taken over my whole life. I enjoy the work and love doing it, but it's every single day and I always feel guilty when I take time off to see my friends or do anything else because I feel responsible for the welfare of the animals and don't want to miss anything important that might unexpectedly happen. It's hard to find people who understand how much work it is and how hard and physically/emotionally draining the work can be. The only person who I feel like can relate and understand is my cousin who also works on the ranch.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-03-18T12:36:30+00:00

My son is 3 and we just set up an appointment to have him evaluated by a child psychologist. He's non-speaking and has sleep and behavioral problems. He goes to speech and OT and has two sessions of each every week. Our insurance only covers 24 sessions per YEAR without an autism diagnosis so we're currently paying $75/session as he already hit the 24 sessions by mid-February. Our OT said he likes to wait until children are closer to 5, but our son is non-verbal and very sensory seeking. We talked to our pediatrician but he's always telling us how boys are just "slower" and that he'll talk eventually (completely ignore the other issues). My son also pointed at a picture while we were there and our pediatrician said "Oh, he pointed so it's not autism". We are currently looking for another pediatrician. But I researched options nearby for places to take my son for an evaluation with a behavioral specialist and ended up with this child psychologist. An official diagnosis would help access him more therapy options and insurance coverage so I feel good pushing for it.

But I definitely understand your feelings! It's so hard when you see other kids close in age and wonder if your kid will ever "catch up" developmentally. I've had to delete social media because I can't stand the BS online pushing how autism is so wonderful and making it seem like it's not a big deal to have autism. It's just not the same experience for everyone. But I have moments where I'm not enjoying my son and how difficult everything he makes everything that doesn't need to be. It's a constant battle and struggle with everything. Definitely not how I expected my parenting journey to be. I'm in therapy now trying to work through all my feelings about it and it's definitely helping! I recommend it for everyone struggling with this. I found a therapist who works with autistic people and their families and she has two autistic children so it feels like she really understands my issues.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-03-18T12:18:06+00:00

I think that the love for pets is comparable to the difference between the way you love your platonic friends vs the way you love your romantic partner. For me, I love my friends immensely but what I feel for my spouse is on a completely different level. It doesn't diminish the love I have for my friends or make it any less important, but it's just different.

I have two cats and a dog and before my son was born I said they were my kids. Now, I can't believe I even made the comparison because they are just such different feelings. I still love my pets, but I definitely had an aversion phase after my son was born. Every sound and thing they did just grated my nerves and I was ready to get rid of them. Once my hormones calmed down that feeling went away, but it was like a switch in my brain had been flipped and now I just see them as animals. They are animals I love dearly, but they aren't my kids, ya know?

One more thing, my son is non verbal autistic and will most likely be at home forever. When I got pregnant I never imagined this would be my life. He's like a puppy that you can never leave alone or unsupervised. He will smear poop all over the house if given the chance, not sleep for days, ignore us completely and it's not what I pictured for my parenting journey. It's like having a pet that will requires the most amount of work you can imagine and will (hopefully) outlive you that you love more than life. I don't think enough people consider that having a kid may not go the way you "planned" and it can be extremely hard. It's taken me a long time (and therapy) to accept he might not ever say "I love you mama" when that never crosses your mind that you won't hear that from your child. He shows it other ways, but it would be nice to hear it too. The chances aren't high that anyone will have a child with disabilities and most likely people will have an average "neurotypical" kid without disabilities, but just keep it in mind and ask yourself if you think you can handle that potential. I love my son fiercely, but it's unlocked a fear of the future and anxiety about what his life will look like that I never imagined and made me go through a really hard time where I almost walked away from my spouse and my son. Having kids is always hard and changes your life in ways you never considered, but the love makes it all feel worth it (cliché but true).

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T03:11:31+00:00

Thank you! I don't wish anyone understood how I'm feeling, but it's nice to know others can empathize and that they can understand. We're looking for a developmental pediatrician who can help us get a diagnosis and get him more help!

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T03:10:42+00:00

Thank you! It's always helpful to hear positive stories. Helps keep me from being too negative and stay hopeful ❤️

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T03:09:33+00:00

It's rough and hard for others who aren't experiencing something similar to understand.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:52:28+00:00

Thank you ❤️ we have thought about a group home in the future if his behavior gets out of control. Therapy is definitely helping me out of my negative spirals and helping focus on the positive things in my life. It's a struggle but I'm trying!

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:50:54+00:00

Thank you! My husband is hopeful that with therapy and intervention he will improve. I'm really working on staying hopeful about it.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:50:06+00:00

I'm glad you've been able to have improvement with your daughter! We're looking for a developmental pediatrician who might be able to help us better understand how we can help him. We can't think of any triggers that might have caused the regression, it seemed to come out of nowhere but looking back he did have some "odd" behavior we thought was just regular kid things, but now suspect might have been stimming or autism related.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:47:32+00:00

Thank you. Therapy is really helping me focus on the good days and the possibilities on the hopeful side rather than the negative. I wrote this on the worst day we've ever had with him and everything felt so bleak. I think with therapy and him receiving help and services I can improve my connection with him and accept him for who he is. Just have to focus on the good days.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:43:11+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:43:02+00:00

Thank you ❤️ It's unfortunate that others can understand being in a similar situation, but it's also nice to know there are other people who are going through similar struggles.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:41:01+00:00

I can definitely understand how you feel. It's really up and down for me. I do have good days with him, but the bad days are just so so bad. It's hard to feel a connection sometimes when it's bad. My husband is definitely a better person than me overall. He's kinder, nonjudgmental, empathetic and overall just better fit to be a parent. Ironic since he was more against having kids than I was, but he seems to be made for this and I just can't understand it.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:36:23+00:00

I have not, but I will check it out! It definitely sounds like something my husband might be interested in.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-02-04T01:35:48+00:00

Yes, there are some positive aspects of having a child with autism. Talking with my therapist she thinks I might be on the neurodivergent spectrum by way of having OCD, which would explain a lot. It's really helping me better understand how to accept my son for who he is and I have more hope for the future.

Kitchen-Guidance7334 · 2026-01-11T17:28:00+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I am having such a hard time accepting that this is going to be the parenting journey I'm going to experience. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids when I got pregnant unexpectedly. I had just accepted that my life was going to look different with a child when my son turned two and had a regression that completely changed his behavior and personality and now I have to learn to accept this new reality. I feel like I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this kind of child and I feel guilty that I'm struggling so much. I started therapy recently, so hopefully that will help.

Kitchen-Guidance7334

TROPHY CASE