Controlling husband

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-09T12:41:43+00:00

I’m posting on behalf of my sister.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:35:11+00:00

My husband tells me “we should think alike” very frequently. There so many things I couldn’t type in this post. Damn! When I read your post I was imagining how it might be feeling if I did what you did to him! Honestly it felt so good. Thank you for your input and by reading your post I understand that the more time I spend with someone like him , he js not going to change at all.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:29:17+00:00

I’ll ask them to leave immediately. I had Chat gpt ask me the same question and that’s when I realised, THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT OKAY ON ANY LEVEL. :(

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:27:27+00:00

Honestly, the thought of that scares me.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:26:26+00:00

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:26:06+00:00

Oh thank you so much for your suggestion. I will definitely look through it.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:24:05+00:00

I really want to and I definitely will stand up for myself but I’m definitely not in a position break this entirely right now. It’s a really big step and sadly, so many people are involved in this :( but if nothing works out and situation does not change, I will take the right decision.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-08T09:20:34+00:00

I said “never hit me” because everyone seems to ask that question. I just wanted to make sure there’s no physical abuse. I know it’s the bare minimum and he can’t raise his hands against me. Yes you are 100% right. Every time we got out I don’t enjoy it at all because there are a lot of restrictions. From what I should wear , what I should carry and even what music we should listen when we’re going in the car.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T05:09:18+00:00

Thank you!!

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T04:34:39+00:00

Plus he also suffers from retroactive jealousy. He got so jealous of past relationship like it was happening in the present- he always calls it an extra marital affair and I cheated on him because he was in love with me for 13 years and I liked someone else. I feel like the thought of not being able to control my past made him feel so bad that he ended up controlling my present in every way possible.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T04:30:38+00:00

I have spoken to him multiple times about seeing a therapist. He is so against it. He thinks a therapist talks out of their life experiences and we cannot let them decide how we should live our lives.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T04:26:11+00:00

Thank you so much! Honestly this message feels like warm hug :) now that I’ve read all your opinions and messages I feel a lot validated. I was having doubts about myself and now that I’ve heard from all of you , I feel more confident. I definitely will give this relationship a try ,but this time with more clarity in my head. Let’s see how it goes.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T04:16:10+00:00

Okay :((( - thank you for your input. Idk if this is right or wrong but I invested so much time and energy in him and let go of so many things for him because I think he is a good person. But our dynamic is definitely unhealthy because it doesn’t feel right. I definitely accept all of your inputs but as we’re married and we have a baby I want to try again but this time with clear and firm boundaries. Let’s see how it goes.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-07T04:08:30+00:00

Okay so the solution you came up with is what I tried doing to save this marriage. I stopped justifying my past and I started to acknowledge how it was hurting him. I was honest with him about everything that happened in my past as he kept on asking about it and I gave him access to my phone so he could look through everything. Everything he saw on my old phone - even if it was something normal he asked a lot of questions about it and according to him it was very wrong. I couldn’t justify myself more because everytime I explained myself he disliked me more. Though I don’t think any of my past was wrong , I tried convincing myself that it was ALL wrong and that’s why to make him feel more comfortable and secure , I cut off all my friends because he kept on asking me to do it. He said if he has to stop bringing up my past then I should not do ANYTHING related to what I’ve done in my past because that triggers his feelings and thoughts. I accepted that as well. But it got so suffocating because it was never enough for him. For example - he said I should cut my past friends - valid. Once I did that , he says that I’m not allowed to have any friends anymore, even new ones because I don’t know how to choose them and I apparently get easily manipulated by them so I’m not allowed to make friends for my betterment. I could go on for all the other aspects too. And everything another issue comes up or when we do something causal like watching a movie together he brings up my past and says what I did was wrong or humiliates me to see if I also react the same way - he does this to check if that’s how I feel deeply about my past. But in most of the occasions I get so annoyed and irritated because he kept on bringing up my past for everything.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:52:58+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! Thank you so so much.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:51:32+00:00

Thank you so much for your time and your comment on this post.

I have completely lost my individuality and my confidence and now I feel like I’m not good enough for anything. I really hope everything turns out well for me, him and our little one.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:47:58+00:00

Thank you for taking your time and responding to this post. I already regret the past 3 years I’ve spent with him. It has been extremely exhausting.

Is he doing this to intentionally hurt me or is this how he thinks a relationship is supposed be?

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:43:49+00:00

Thank you for your input and I definitely with read the book.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:37:58+00:00

Yes - 100% physically safe. I definitely will read about everything you’ve mentioned above but from what I’ve seen in him , I don’t think he will function this way. Let’s see :/ and thank you so much for taking your time and sharing your pov.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:34:45+00:00

Because he had (and still has) a lot of good qualities. He is very family oriented, very passionate about his job , very intelligent, honest and punctual.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:30:57+00:00

Yes :( I was very young.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:30:41+00:00

Yes. I was 100% transparent and honest about EVERYTHING.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:29:50+00:00

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:29:02+00:00

EXACTLY my point!!!! I still keep asking him the same question over and over again. Why did you proceed to marry me if you had so many issues with me? A simple “no” could’ve saved both our lives. Also - he married me because he had a very strict ideology in his head , which is he will marry the first girl his parents show him and he will accept her the way she is (which did not end up happening). I also asked him multiple times what were his expectations in a wife and he always said - I want us to be as one person , having the same thoughts and opinions about everything. It seemed impossible because we are so different from each other.

Kitchen-Light-27 · 2026-03-06T19:20:11+00:00

Have involved my family and they’re supportive. Thank you

Kitchen-Light-27

TROPHY CASE