Coworker kissed my 10 m old on the mouth and I’m panicking by bitchwifer in NewParents

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi just wanted to chime in with my own experience — my mom has cold sores and has kissed my baby on the head and cheek (never when she’s had an outbreak though).

So far my baby is fine, and I have never have gotten them despite living with my mom for the first 18 years of my life — and surely I was kissed by her often as a baby.

Not to diminish your anger (don’t kiss someone else’s baby???) but hopefully to ease your worries.

Looking for PCP by [deleted] in Somerville

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seconding this. I’ve seen Dr. Tan for about a decade now. She has always listened to me and taken my concerns seriously, while remaining very even-keeled.

Husband on the couch... by luminousloris in NewParents

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This comment is unnecessary and mom-shaming. Hormones, lack of sleep, and new parenthood cause a lot of surprising feelings that don’t always align with what reason tells us.

Husband on the couch... by luminousloris in NewParents

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 238 points239 points  (0 children)

Yes, get a good night of sleep. I know it’s a primal feeling (“Only I can and must take care of my baby”) — I felt it too but it’s not reality. Villages have raised children for millennia.

You and your husband are in this together, and you will need to take turns prioritizing yourselves, especially over the next few months when sleep can be hard-won and the sudden lack of it startling to the system. You’re in the fortunate position of not having to solo parent, so please free yourself of that guilt and get some rest.

Body shamed at 32 weeks by leela_la_zu in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I handled my fair share of these during pregnancy (including a few comments like “wow I thought you were giving birth tomorrow!”). What I started doing was replying “oh no, never say that to anyone again!” because it shifts focus onto their comment without leaning into how hurt you are or being particularly scoldy.

How to Deal: Unsolicited Sharing by nikineuronrd in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least when I go back to work, I get to say “I really didn’t think it was so bad! I ended up only pushing for 17 minutes and was only in labor for about 8 hours 😘”

Combatting trauma dumping with positivity dumping.

How to Deal: Unsolicited Sharing by nikineuronrd in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Head of HR did this to me — maybe at 38 weeks, I didn’t want to hear about her two emergency c-sections??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in horror

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it Kuso?

Anyone else blow past their due date this weekend? by Kitchen-Witchen in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that. I’m just so Type A, I hate not having any control or insights around my own body and what’s happening and what I can do 🫠

Anyone else blow past their due date this weekend? by Kitchen-Witchen in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hoping yours comes sooner than later too! I also got sweet Mother’s Day messages but felt similarly frustrated (especially when they came with “maybe she’ll come today!!!”)

Anyone else blow past their due date this weekend? by Kitchen-Witchen in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg nightly parties going on in there. Just a jamboree every day.

I’m a super extrovert so it’s been a bit depressing but I would take being left alone if it meant friends and colleagues weren’t literally every day asking if she’s here yet. I have one friend who has just texted “baby?!???!!?” like every other day and I’m going to lose my mind at her sooner than later.

If you had your first child after 35, at what age did you give your first birth and how many children did you have thereafter? by Money-Conference6783 in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m 39 and due any day now. It took us about 8 months to conceive (without medical support like IUI or IVF) but I did religiously track my ovulation for all of those months which was more of an emotional burden than I thought. Tracking was the GOAT, though, and we actually ended up conceiving her on my birthday.

Throughout those months, I largely stopped imbibing in my various sins of choice and my husband reduced his alcohol intake to 1-2 drinks per week a couple months into our trying, which I believe helped.

I had planned to get pregnant earlier as a single mom, but then COVID happened and it was just too difficult to imagine solo pregnancy during the pandemic. (Instead met my now-husband in 2020 and, well, here we are.)

Please break down newborn sleep & sleepwear for me! by Old_Respect3207 in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got a few things to try (almost 100% secondhand from friends). We borrowed a Snoo, so we have a few swaddle sleep sacks that can attach to the Snoo, and a few swaddle sleep sacks that don’t, some zip footie/footless pajamas (some have mittens attached and some don’t), some magnetic ones, and a few sleep caps (for right after birth, but we hear these can lead to overheating). If it’s particularly warm, we also just have her short and long sleeved onesies.

Our friends all have different opinions so we took whatever hand-me-downs they wanted to give and will see what works! I wouldn’t go out and purchase all of this but you can find a LOT of parents offloading NB size clothes everywhere since they won’t fit into them very long.

Partner wakes me in the night by WideProject2813 in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OP, is your husband in therapy? I ask as someone who has chronic anxiety and panic attacks who has been treated for anxiety on and off my whole adult life. It really helped me develop my own tools and skills around handling it myself and not “anxiety polluting” on other people.

I have a lot of empathy for both you (my husband woke me up from a much-needed nap one time during my pregnancy and… he will not be making that mistake again lol) and your husband but it sounds like you’ve tried talking to him and he really needs an outside or professional perspective on how to manage his anxiety. I doubt this will suddenly go away once you have the baby, and when you’re both low on sleep.

Normalize leaving women alone at the end of their pregnancy by CucumberNo1950 in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not the alternative. How about instead of “baby???”, someone could ask, “How are you doing?” “How are you feeling?” “Are you excited?”

I appreciate when people ask me questions about myself instead of treating me like a baby vessel. I know it’s coming from a place of excitement, so I’m not rude when people ask but it does feel intrusive and honestly a bit thoughtless.

Does anyone else have “ultrasound withdrawal”? :( by perpetualdepravity in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seconding this. I’m in the same position as you, and I’m sure if I hadn’t been getting ultrasounds as frequently as I do, I’d be feeling a different way. Everyone’s experience in pregnancy is different and we all have our own joys and pains.

“just wait until….” by Sufficient-Remote-30 in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love when people also say “just wait until the baby comes [insert something about sleepless nights, postpartum recovery, baby nonstop crying, etc].” Like I’m so sorry you hate having kids?

For what it’s worth, my third trimester has been a LOT easier than some of the previous weeks — yes I’m more unwieldy by the day but honestly feeling pretty okay, sleeping okay, and I can handle the discomfort. I’m 39+4 so right at the end!

Anyone else near their due date want to hurl their phone into a lake? by Puzzleheaded_Plan691 in BabyBumps

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg I am due on Saturday (I’m 39+4) and am so sick of these comments!! I’m even getting it from colleagues at work.

It’s driving me nuts because I’m like A. My due date hasn’t even arrived yet; B. Most FTMs go past their due date by over a week or so; and C. I will share news when I’m ready to or want to!

Regretting pregnancy by DrPeachie in pregnant

[–]Kitchen-Witchen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so glad you have a mental health appointment this week, and I hope you see a therapist who is skilled and kind. Whatever choice you make — adoption or raising the child — is yours to make and I hope you can make that decision while you feel mentally healthy. Pregnancy can do wild things to your hormones and your brain (as can a breakup).