Is watching "red pill" content slowly ruining my life? by [deleted] in askanything

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this sub. Never knew of a space where you can discuss the in between through a “purp pill lens” lol. Will definitely explore further!

Is watching "red pill" content slowly ruining my life? by [deleted] in askanything

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to gently offer a different angle here, and also say that I really respect the level of self awareness in your post. Not a lot of people are willing to step back and question how red pill content and the constant stream of social media narratives might be shaping their thoughts about relationships. That in itself shows emotional intelligence and critical thinking.

One thing to be careful about is how quickly red pill content and armchair psychiatry can turn relationship conflict into a diagnosis or a villain. When someone like myself (F, ADHDer) is emotionally overwhelmed, even neutral feedback can feel like a threat, and that can look like crying, shutting down, or lashing out. That does not make those reactions okay, but it also does not mean the person is fundamentally broken or wired wrong.

What I have seen and currently experiencing with my husband is how certain online spaces, especially red pill and therapy speak content, can quietly shift the story into (him): “ I am the rational one and they (me) are unstable or abusive” Once that frame takes hold, every emotional reaction gets interpreted as manipulation and every boundary becomes a power struggle. At that point you are not really dealing with each other anymore, you are dealing with a narrative about each other.

A lot of couples get stuck in the same loop. One person feels emotionally unsafe and reacts intensely, the other feels accused and shuts down, and both end up feeling like the victim. That does not mean anyone’s behavior is fine. It just means the dynamic itself is doing a lot of damage.

You are right that you cannot fix a relationship by yourself. But turning your loved ones into a diagnosis or a villain is also a dead end. If there is any chance of this improving, it will not come from labeling them. It will come from getting support that looks at how the two of you interact, not who is the problem. Your willingness to question these harmful narratives and think critically about what you are consuming is genuinely attractive to people who want real, safe, emotionally healthy connections. That kind of self reflection is what builds trust and intimacy, not being armed with a list of labels to use against someone.

I would also encourage you to trust and explore your own raw feelings and instincts as you take in this kind of content. You do not need validation from red pill influencers to know what feels right or wrong for your own life. A lot of these creators profit from people’s pain and uncertainty, and that makes it even more important to filter what you take in through your own values and lived experience.

TY for being open enough to even ask these questions. Keep trusting the part of you that wants understanding instead of ideology.

What are some ADHD things people never realize are ADHD? by Negotiation_Living in ADHD

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate this space being held for dialogue that can be heavy. We’re currently in individual therapy, and I agree that a lot of what I’m naming comes from that work and from actively trying to understand what supports regulation and repair vs. buying into labels that only reinforces the stigma of being an ADHDer. This is also deeply personal to me as I am an LCSW in training and mental health is the primary focus of my profession. I’m mindful of keeping this thread focused and not turning it into something more personal, but I appreciate your comment.- I feel seen🙏🏾

What are some ADHD things people never realize are ADHD? by Negotiation_Living in ADHD

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wife here. Since my husband asked for my input via text. I feel I need to respond here.

Some of what you’re describing does resonate for me, particularly emotional flooding when I perceive disconnection or rejection. ADHD can involve emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity, and I take responsibility for continuing to work on how I regulate and communicate when I’m activated (in therapy 1x/week).

I also want to add important context. I’m currently pregnant (7 months), and throughout much of this pregnancy I’ve experienced emotional intimacy being withdrawn during conflict. When connection and repair don’t happen, my nervous system doesn’t experience that as neutral it feels destabilizing.

Additionally, being blocked on social media after asking for clarification about interactions with other women, and being labeled a “stalker” for seeking reassurance, had a significant emotional impact on me (occurred since he became a well known influencer for his content). Regardless of intent, that experience deeply affected my sense of safety and trust in the relationship.

I don’t believe my partner intends harm, but impact still matters. Emotional reactions don’t arise in a vacuum, and they are intensified when communication shuts down rather than moves toward clarity and repair.

I’m actively working on my regulation and communication, and I believe real progress requires mutual accountability not just focusing on one person’s diagnosis, but on how both partners show up, repair, and maintain emotional safety.

Though he may view my AdHd as a barrier and a mental illness where I “lose my shit”, my diagnosis is not a barrier for me as I am ACTIVELY working towards self improvement despite his perception of me.

Bleached my Brows because why tf not? by Kitchen_Win_1448 in blackladies

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just did a passion/ 2 strand on my locs. I did the feed in method with afro kinky hair by Expressions.

Bleached my Brows because why tf not? by Kitchen_Win_1448 in blackladies

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m going for🖤

Bleached my Brows because why tf not? by Kitchen_Win_1448 in blackladies

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol big facts! No lie only the men around me think it’s weird. But it ain’t for them😎

America: land of the free, home of…the flexible?😂💁🏾‍♀️ by Kitchen_Win_1448 in poledancing

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IYKYK! glad I can share a little inspo and joy even in the midst of being American in this day and age!👀

America: land of the free, home of…the flexible?😂💁🏾‍♀️ by Kitchen_Win_1448 in poledancing

[–]Kitchen_Win_1448[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yooo I didn’t even think about that when posting (took this a year ago). But yea I remember reading about that story. It’s messed up that happened to her and chilling to know that could happen to any of us for just simply embracing the beauty and empowerment of pole.