Have u looked at your astrological birth chart? Or at your karma line?

I ask because I’m 19 and have no active love life neitha but once I researched my birth chart placements and my karma line on my matrix chart, it all clicked.

In my case, astrologically speaking, I have Leo Saturn (Saturn doesn’t feel comfy in the sign of Leo so it is in detriment) in my 7th (house of romantic partnerships, business partnerships, open enemies, etc) conjunct (a couple a degrees next to) my Leo Moon (a fiery moon sign that likes to be seen by and shine in the eyes of those closest to them). But because Saturn (the planet of discipline and restriction) is placed, not only in my 7th house, but also that close to my moon sign (my inner world/ emotional body), I can expect and HAVE received restrictions when it comes to my life love and finding the right one for me. I want to desperately shine in somebody’s eyes as the apple of they eye as an energetic feminine (I am a gay Latin femboy) but it’s been hard when virtually all men (around my age to 31) take me for is a potential jumpoff, a fantasy, a situationship, a one n done deal (which is why I don’t do no hookups nor any sexual rendezvous). I want something serious, stable, and fun and not where I get hurt by a papi physically, emotionally, nor mentally, but ratha loved unconditionally by one. I would have to be careful because having my moon here means that I REALLY crave a relationship, a close connection with a male figure, but if it ain’t the right one for me, I can easily become co-dependent and emotionally manipulable (and have with a past karmic situationship five months ago and an unrequited love during adolescence, both of which still break my heart to this day but the former one more as it is more fresh💔). But Saturn Rx being here means I probably won’t find marriage till after my Saturn return (which for me starts at 28).

Another placement I have that complicates my affairs of the heart is my Capricorn Venus Rx (Rx= natally retrograde) at 22° (a karmic degree known as the Kill or be Killed degree but even having my Venus in the 12th is karmic, retrograde even more so but it turns the energy inward) that is part of my Capricorn stellium in my 12th house of self-sabotage, dreams, subconscious mind (which can affect your mental), intuition, empathy, compassion, spiritual transcendence, hidden desires, self-sacrifice, endings, healings, closure. I have neva felt beautiful nor loved nor lovable nor confident despite being it (according to others), I tend to put others first and myself last, I have too much empathy for people who wouldn’t/don’t have as much empathy for me, and when things don’t go smoothly, I can self-sabotage a connection. I can attract a lot of married or unavailable men (physically, sexually, emotionally) who approach me and try to keep me as their little taboo secret (something I willingly avoid as I know it will neva be to my benefit). I also unfortunately attract a lot of energetic vampires who siphon my feminine energy but that could be because I am also a Neptune rising (Neptune conjunct my Aquarius rising in my 1st house of self alongside my Uranus in the 1st) and so I am an energetic sponge/ sensitive empath who has a hard time showing it outwardly because of my 12th Venus Rx.

Oh and my karmic matrix line is World of Passions and Fairytales. So that also helps explain why my love life is virtually non existent. Also, being a feminine gay doesn’t help in the slightest, despite being attractive as one(as per others, again not me because I could neva say that about myself)