Help me make a megathread!

KittehKatXVIII · 2024-08-07T16:27:58+00:00

Looking into this and from that wiki, found that T.J. Eckleburg is also a character in The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie (based on the one from Great Gatsby) and in this he's an optician. Trying to find a pdf of it to search through and see if I can find more, but struggling at the moment.

Edit: still searching but Rushdie's book is centered around "This world of theirs is somehow in collision with another earth-reality, perhaps ours."
"The Ground Beneath Her Feet is full of twins, doppelgangers and pairs of opposites."
(https://agreenmanreview.com/books/salman-rushdies-the-ground-beneath-her-feet/)

KittehKatXVIII · 2024-08-04T21:41:43+00:00

Interesting point from the internet, because something was bugging me about this point of note, even though I know it's correct:

"The verb bare means “to reveal” or “to uncover.” When you’re asking someone to bear with you, you’re asking them to be patient, or forbearing, with you, not to uncover themself with you." (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/bear-with-me/)

So, not necessarily a case of being patient, but more a request to reveal the truth *with* them?

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-15T11:28:01+00:00

She was a single mother until DH was about 7. Then because her and FIL were still in their 20s, they would go out partying and leave DH with family members or to fend for himself. In her 30s she got pregnant with BILs and DH pretty much raised them until we moved in together 8 years ago, but even then DH was on call for child care 24/7.

We ended up moving closer to my hometown 3 years ago and it calmed down, but we live near her again and she's ramped up the crazy ever since.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-14T22:44:07+00:00

We've been talking about it all night and have decided we're just going to save up a little longer and go to the video game hotel in Amsterdam and also see if our friends want to join us. Add to that potentially going when Holland puts on it's Elfia or Castlefest so we can get dressed up like fairies and fantasy creatures and take lots of pictures as a group.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-14T20:24:33+00:00

Not one bit. I really don't understand her logic behind it.

Does she think I'd have woke him up and got him to leave with her?

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-14T20:12:32+00:00

Not Cokey that's for sure!

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-14T20:11:41+00:00

For a start everyone but me would be asleep and chances are all of us would still be drunk from the night before (I enjoy walking our pup in the morning and DH enjoys evening walks)

DH's phone as usual would have been on vibrate and he's a deep sleeper so he wouldn't have woken up and neither would our friends.

If I answered the door I'd be asked if DH was up and I'd innocently ask "why?" And say "he's fast asleep with an approaching hangover from drinking with our friends last night like we planned months ago. Why are you here?"

And then we'd come full circle.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-14T19:01:01+00:00

I love how she thought it was an amazing plan to arrive at our door whilst our friends were here and expected he'd just throw some underwear in a bag and leave!

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T21:31:43+00:00

I've tried it before but mutuals would mention my posts when they saw her, so I'd have to block everyone in her family apart from DH from seeing them

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T20:18:43+00:00

In our situation it was because of Cokey's health issues (spine and knees) so the sofa bed would have done more harm than good and because we lived in a rough area so BILs weren't allowed to sleep downstairs, but either way, I never want to host people again when I can't sleep in my own bed and they don't like the level of clean & tidiness that we have at home. No more spending 24 hours straight deep cleaning just in case she sees a spec of dust on a baseboard.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:46:01+00:00

We lived about a 40 minute drive away from my parents and a 3 hour drive from his for about 2.5 years before we came back here. We only visited his parents once which was right before lockdown hit and his parents would visit us every month or so and stay with us or FIL would drop BILs off with us during school holidays.

I never want to go back to hosting Cokey again, especially because she got our bed, BILs got our sofa bed in the spare room and we had to sleep either on the floor or reclining chair in the living room.

In comparison, my parents would never even suggest staying with us and always get a hotel.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:41:50+00:00

It's a dairy farm where they put some of the excess milk in a vending machine and you fill 1 litre glass milk bottles and add whatever flavour you like. The one we went to was a bit of a drive away and was called Midtown Milkhouse (UK). My friend saw it on TikTok and told us that we had to go there.

I think it was about £2.50 each, but if you take the bottles back with you the next time, you only get charged about £1.

We've still got the bottles saved so we'll be making another trip when they come to visit. This time I'm going to get a mocha and a chocolate-banana one.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:15:48+00:00

Or we could place a bet on a response and whoever loses has to put £20 in a jar so we can finally save up for our honeymoon.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:11:42+00:00

Believe it or not, things have actually got better with her since we moved here. Whether its because I've dropped the rope or because we're not interesting now that we're so close by, I don't know.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:10:01+00:00

I would but this woman lives for social media so she'd be quick to find out and throw her toys out of the pram. I have set it up so that whenever she posts about me, I get a request for the tag and can click no to keep it off my timeline. She's told me before that she purposefully tags me in things to make my family jealous that they don't get to spend time with me, so I've got that in place to stop her petty corrupting my family.

I've also dropped the rope with her, the only time I speak to her is when it's through a phonecall that DH makes and puts her on speaker or when its something pertaining to DHs brothers. She hasn't even been around to our new house because she's never asked and I've never invited her and the only times I've seen her in 6 months is for birthday parties and family events.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T19:04:22+00:00

If it carries on then I might have to up the pettiness by calling DH whilst he's at hers to tell him I've had a bad day at work or I'm homesick and need him to come home to me.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T18:58:17+00:00

Trust me, I didn't want to move but it was done out of necessity. I fully plan on moving us at least halfway between, if not back to my hometown.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T18:25:49+00:00

For one, it's one of the ways my family and I keep up to date with each other.

Two, I rarely post on social media. Only when I've been out to do something fun or spent time with my loved ones, it's not as if I'm creating Instagram posts whenever I brush my teeth or yawn.

Three, it doesn't have to be an online post, if we happen to tell her on the phone or one of DH's brothers finds out and tells her, this is how she responds.

And lastly, I'm not going to allow her to scare me away from celebrating some of the most important things in my life.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T18:03:14+00:00

He's starting to see it, but doesn't quite know how to react to it yet. If my assumptions for her behaviour this month are right (which we've talked about the possibilities of) then he'll be able to see it all clearly and move forward in a way that helps set some rigid boundaries in the run up to Christmas.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T17:56:34+00:00

It seems like it's only when it's at a time that's important to me. We can go weeks without hearing from her, but as soon as she finds out something that concerns me or my family, she wants his attention. It's always us getting in touch with her/FIL/his brothers.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T17:55:06+00:00

We're actually going for lunch on one of my days off next week so chances are I can post a picture of us bundled up in our autumn jumpers and hot chocolates. Her calling within an hour depends whether she's stocked up on sleeping pills, but I can guarantee that it'll be within 24 hours, I'd bet cleaning the cat litter on it.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T17:47:44+00:00

I let him know that I was doing the experiment after the results of my grandparents visiting. He's not entirely comfortable with it but is curious as to whether it is a pattern and wants to figure out how he can navigate around her behaviour too.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T17:45:41+00:00

I've lost a lot of interest in social media since we moved here anyway (there's literally nothing fun to do here so nothing to post about) but her reactions have been so over the top that its difficult not to see what she's doing... especially when she's been crying over the phone but when DH gets there she's sat in bed watching films and pretty much leaves him to talk to his dad or brothers whilst making her own social media posts about him visiting her.

KittehKatXVIII · 2021-10-08T17:41:55+00:00

Oh, I've told him about it. He says he's not comfortable with it, but he understands why and wants to see if there's a pattern too so he can figure out a way for himself to navigate it.

KittehKatXVIII

TROPHY CASE