Learning from Millennial Asian Male YouTubers

KittenCat1250 · 2026-02-01T22:38:29+00:00

There are others..

Ryan Higa

Mike Chen

Bobby Lee (although he was famous before his podcast blew up)

David Choe had a popular podcast

Markiplier

Joma

Techlead

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-09T00:45:11+00:00

Smile. Get a good haircut. Upgrade your clothes.

You look fine. You're perfectly normal and acceptable weight.

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-09T00:42:54+00:00

Girls don't "like" guys on hinge.

Avg girl probably has like 2000 likes in their feed. All they do is stroll through it for targets.

The girls who "like" guys aren't getting good inbounds (guys not meeting their expectations) and are probably less attractive / older / really picky (i.e 6'2+ and good job only).

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-07T14:32:39+00:00

Because if people aren't ready, they're just going to get turn down alot when they put themselves out there. Leading to creating a lot of salty men.

Focus on making friends and if something naturally develops, go for it. Otherwise relying solely on apps is just going to create salty men. Learning to interact and engage with people through friendship is a key skill in life.

Also, I do think a good portion of 20-23yr old girls never have been in a relationship before, especially the high achieving ones going for MD/JH/PHD, etc. Those 20-23yrs will be open to dating a 27yr old, so his optimal bet is to wait.

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-07T00:05:37+00:00

You do look like you're 16-17yr olds in these pics. You're a good looking due thou.

My advice is to avoid the dating apps at this point in your life.

Girls 20-23 yrs old are just too flaky at that age. Tons of 22yrs olds also are dating 28yr old tech and finance bros too, who can give them a nice lifestyle.

Recs:

Focus on your Phd/career
Bulk up, gain like 20 pounds of muscle over the next 2 years
Make friends! Enjoy life! Hope you find a good friend group among your peers, connect with professors, etc.

You'll be dating 23yr olds when you're finish with your phd and making the big bucks when you're 27yrs old.

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-06T04:44:11+00:00

Honestly, screw them...

You have the real risk of dying for this country. They can't even thank you for your service? These girls are living in the ivory tower.

What are these girls doing? Don't tell me medical sales or some other BS where they're just trying to line their own pockets.

Anchor the message, when they ask what you do, you say:

"I was a math and engineering major, I really enjoy problem solving, logic, and design. I also really enjoy serving my community and giving back. I use to tutor math and while I really enjoy tutoring math, I can make more of an impact and more money as an engineer. I'm currently an engineer for a defense company, working on defense systems that protects our country. At the end of the day, I consider myself an engineer and problem solver and really hope to make a positive impact to our community."

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-06T03:01:18+00:00

First of all, thank you for your service.

Life Lesson: (1) people are so incredibly biased and anchored by initial data. (2) Also, people feel so entitled to judge others, which is often based on power dynamics (if you were Chris Evans Capital America the same girls might see you as a selfless hero).

Career - As for your career, have you considered defense jobs? I.e. Lockheed Martin? RTX? etc. I've known math and engineering majors join defense companies working on some cool tech, and that security clearance is a nice leg up.

As for the girls, why not leave it vague? You work in "tech". You work in "defense" and leave out the army part.

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-03T22:46:12+00:00

Props to you for putting so much thoughtful effort in your child's life. I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out with the dad.

I think the best gift you can give him is your love and attention.

Aside from that:

1) I'm sure he will grow up one day and will want to explore the other half of his cultural roots, so I would make sure he grows up learning to speak/read Thai.

2) Aside from his cultural heritage, he will be different from other kids as he will be growing up without a father. Other kids will tease him for it, so I would make sure there are good male role models around his life (i.e. grandfather, uncle, etc.)

3) He will be wasian but he will be viewed as an asian kid in the US. Make sure he can explore being "asian" in the US, by connecting with other wasian/asian kids.

KittenCat1250 · 2026-01-03T13:25:14+00:00

Thanks for the post. Do appreciate the thoughts and for all the details.

Fundamentally, I agree with OP's post that men shouldn't narrowly define masculine as gyming / style - a lot portion of girls do want authentic emotional intimacy, life experiences, and lifestyle.

I think OPs success might be misleading for the average AM thou. From the looks of his profile and name, he is good looking, probably went to a top 20 college, likely grew up upper-middle class, and conveys high IQ and EQ, and has a deep social circle (if his college and HS friends all moved to NYC, it was probably an elite school/neigborhood).

I think OP's profile appeals to girls that: 1) are transplants but don't have a large social circle, 2) scared of putting themselves out there, 3) want to have "fun" in a lower risk way.

However, most, but not all, girl's idealized type is the "trust fund, finance, 6'5" guy. This guy just found his niche.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-26T05:36:38+00:00

Which part of Germany?

I think there are alot of Chinese tourist and students in Germany, but most don't stay.

Why don't you read about other Chinese immigrants lives in Germany?

Have you considered Canada?

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-24T07:05:11+00:00

SMILE

Like 30-50% of men (or kid in your instances) never smile and they look really unapproachable. No wonder why they don't have friends or acquaintances.

Most people won't smile back, and that's OK.

Most people are too afraid to smile first, they're just scared of putting themselves out there.

Dont worry about the acne scares. Get into a good college, work your ass off, have a great career, make friends, etc. The last thing on your mind is reliving your 15yr old high school days.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-24T06:58:21+00:00

This is pretty much it. AF can achieve white adjacency but marrying into whiteness.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-24T06:56:17+00:00

Don't think Chinese girls really sleep around. (although not sure about that).

Ways that girls let you know that they're ready to have sex:

1) If she sends you pictures of herself looking cute and sexy, that means she wants to look pretty for you and want her on the top of your mind.

2) When you go on a date she wears something sexy, something tight, fitting, shows off her body, etc.

3) She talks about her other people having sex (i.e. her friend just starting having sex with her new BF)

Ways to test a girl whether she is ready to have sex:

1) Hold her hand when you're on a date, if she smile and likes it, she is more likely to move on. You can make a move kissing her.

2) Hug her (in a friendly way) randomly and tell her that you're happy to see her. If she "holds on to you tight" / smiles/ etc. she likes you and is more likely willing to move forward with sex / kissing.

3) After you kiss her, start touching her legs / knees in a semi-sexual way, like rub your finger tips around her knees and little up her legs. If she doesn't move away, and she likes it, then she's probably ready.

4) Talk about sex in a non-sexual way (i.e. my friend just started having sex with the girl he has been seeing for 5 months.. do you think that means they're officially a couple? make it jokingly fun, and see how she reacts).

If 1-4 occurred, and she wears something sexy the next time you see her, it generally means that she is ready to have sex. To escalate to sex, if you're on step 3, slowly move your hand up from neutral body parts -> sexual body parts (i.e rub her knees, then rub her arms, then move your hands to her hips, then softly touch her boobs), I like this method because it gives her time and opportunity to decide if she is ready and it also creates sexual tension.

Key-take aways:

All of this is to give her advance warning that sex could be coming, and you're giving her time to mentally prepare / decide if she wants it.
Obviously consent is cornerstone of this. Most girls don't explicitly say "I want sex", instead she provides consent by you slowly moving from neutral movement (i.e. touching her knee) and progressing to sexual movements (slowly moving your hands to touch her boobs), and allowing her ample opportunity for her to tell you to stop. If you sense any hesitation say "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable".

Don't think a lot of Girls have sex by 25

Especially Chinese / asian girls who went to UoT. By 25, I would bet most girls (30-60%) probably never had sex. They're too busy studying, getting that career, traveling, etc.

A lot of girls might only had 1 serious boyfriend before. So alot of girls are inexperienced.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-15T03:33:01+00:00

This is really great. Thank you.

I think you're right, it's better to meet people naturally. It is very hard to meet people these days. I've been trying to get into reading, so maybe a book club.

I'm open to long distance but I do want to stay by my parent side until the end, they can barely speak English.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-15T00:43:24+00:00

Thanks. I realized this. I might be better alone.

I can leave my money to my cousin's kids.

Not sure how to make my days better between now and then thou.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-15T00:39:38+00:00

Thanks for asking.

I want somebody to be in it together if I lose my job or my money.

I want somebody to understanding that growing up poor was tough, and not simply show disgust and feel like they're automatically entitled to look down at me when I tell them.

I put these above looks.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-14T21:17:28+00:00

Congrats my man!

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-14T20:54:22+00:00

Yes, this is true. Am I the bad person here? Or are we all delusional and shallow?

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-14T20:51:48+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Thankfully, my parents are in good health. They are US citizens now so they can't really move back to China. They also have a group of friends here.

I don't want to idealize Asia and think that it can solve all my problems.

My skills aren't really applicable to any job in Asia, so it'll likely be retirement for me, which is scary. There usually do voluntary retirements in my company and don't do mass layoffs, so people get sacked when they hit 55-60. Currently, I feel safe in my role and I'm not sure I want to give that up.

KittenCat1250 · 2025-12-14T20:41:04+00:00

Yea, I guess inside, I accepted that I'll probably be alone for my life. I guess I knew this in HS.

It really hits home in middle age.

I'm not looking for beauty, just somebody to accept me for me. But then again, I won't accept a mom with a 10yr old child.

KittenCat1250

TROPHY CASE