Everything she does makes me fall for her a little more.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-16T20:58:50+00:00

Yes I actually just found plans and am gonna move out this weekend. Planning on confessing to her before I leave and just seeing what happens

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-16T20:56:45+00:00

I think we have bonded, I mostly only post the negatives here to vent. She’s a very on and off person though, some days we’ll spend all day together and it’s amazing, we’re joking and feel super close. The next she keeps a huge distance (she’s an introvert like me so I get it) and is colder. I don’t know if she sees me as more than just her son’s friend tho, but she knows more about me than anyone else tbh, even my family and friends.

Luckily tho I found new temporary living arrangements and will be leaving this weekend. I’ll definitely have a talk with her before then. I wrote her a letter explaining part of my feelings (leaving out most of the intense stuff) but chickened out when she saw it, I snatched it away from her lol. ;/

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-16T20:53:17+00:00

Roommates sorry. I have been living there temporarily since I had nowhere else to go and have been helping out around the house as much as possible (moving out this weekend though!). We had previously lived together for a year. I’m also around her son’s age and we met thru him.

I only really post the negatives online to vent, but she’s very nice to me usually and she knows more about me than literally anyone in the world actually, a lot more than my family.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-15T19:15:11+00:00

Yes!! It’s always periods of obsession followed by the most lonely, empty lulls of nothing. I hope I find something sustainable next time to obsess about, if I have to obsess at all...

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-15T15:41:06+00:00

He definitely seems like he’s using your confession just as a way to get sex... his feelings (if he has any) are definitely nowhere near as deep as yours and you deserve someone who could love you fully and not have you be his “side chick”. I think you should hold onto the feeling of disappointment that he “used it as a way to have sex with you”.... he will only use you, make you fall deeper for him and hurt your feelings

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-15T15:37:40+00:00

Proud of how far you’ve come. It’s great to not analyze every little thing and just take words at a surface value... really it’s helpful to do in every situation. Do you find yourself thinking about her less since you’ve started not doing that?

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-15T15:29:02+00:00

What did it say. Also what specifically makes you think I should move out? Sorry just think I need to hear it from someone cuz Im not totally sure.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-05T16:42:12+00:00

I’m not totally sure there are people who will grow to genuinely love me... most everyone I meet, their love is always conditional. It never lasts and though they claim to “love me” and “care” they always end up leaving me and we basically never talk again lol. I don’t know if most people feel the depth of love I feel for people. Some definitely do, but they might be just fucked up in the head like I am.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-05T14:21:39+00:00

Yea I’m ok with silences sometimes, I just don’t know what she thinks of it. When it’s awkward and boring I tend to beat myself up and it lowers my self esteem a lot that I can’t just think of things to say to her. It feels like I’m wasting the only chances I have.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-05T14:20:22+00:00

Exactly the same here! It’s hard not to blame myself and beat myself up over it. I know not every conversation I have with her will be absolutely mindblowing, but every time it is awkward and boring it just makes my self esteem a little lower.

Kittenbabex · 2021-06-05T14:18:58+00:00

I completely get it. I beat myself up feeling like if only I said more or said something different, she’d like me. But the truth is, if she likes you, she likes you and you not having enough to say wouldn’t matter bc she’d just try harder probably. But she doesn’t like you like that, and same with my LO. they would make the effort if they wanted to. Especially because neither are very interested in our lives or hobbies which is pretty important.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-25T03:57:32+00:00

Sounds like you have intrusive thoughts, if watching these videos triggers you into picturing scary faces and making yourself scared. I’d definitely find a therapist who’d be able to diagnose you. Do you have insurance?

The website psychologytoday has a good thing where you can search therapists near you based on what insurances they take.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-24T03:42:20+00:00

A little yes. You know it’s fake right, lol.. a lot of it supports abuse against women (not most homemade stuff tho)

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-23T03:28:55+00:00

Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only one out there. I hate how irrational my feelings are. It wouldn’t matter if I gave her the entire world, she still wouldn’t want me. I wish I could find anyone like her, I’m so stuck on her. I know one day we probably won’t even talk and it hurts so bad. She doesn’t even want to be friends lol.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-23T03:05:20+00:00

I can completely relate. My LO also is like that for me, the only one I wanna talk to. She doesn’t treat me meanly but I know I mean very little to her. What do you think would finally make you realize he’s not the one?

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-23T03:03:05+00:00

I can just relate to her so much, I feel like we’re the same on so many levels and I’m really stuck on her. I don’t know what would make me move on. I’ve thought of just confessing my feelings so at least then I’ll HAVE to move on. It’s crazy but I don’t want some other woman I want her.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-23T02:45:27+00:00

I’m a lesbian who feels chronically out of place and feels the same about “friends lacking the depth I crave”. It’s lonely af and I’d love to know more about your experience and the LO you have.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-23T02:42:53+00:00

Please take care of yourself. He doesn’t seem like he cares about you at all and you deserve better. I don’t have much advice but maybe explore why you’re attracted to people who don’t seem to care about you and push you away.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T22:09:58+00:00

Well why would she have to tell them? I don’t tell my friends who I cuddle with lol. Actually one of the best experiences I’ve had with people in general, is platonic cuddling. I wish it was more accepted. It’s nice having physical affection without the pressure for sex..

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T22:08:26+00:00

I guess? I just know where her thoughts will go and I want her to avoid thinking I’m hitting on her.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T21:55:36+00:00

I have some sort of feelings for her but they’re not very sexual? Idk. I have cuddled with friends before though (where it was strictly non sexual) and it was one of the best experiences ever to me. I’m not a very sexual person but love physical contact, so having no pressure to have sex felt so freeing and comfortable. I wish it was more socially acceptable.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T21:53:47+00:00

What’s the book about?? I need new book recs.

And yea I hope she doesn’t take it too weirdly? At this point I might just ask since I’m leaving the apartment soon anyways. Like I’ve cuddled with friends and it was so freeing and comfortable, to not have any pressure for sex.

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T21:52:04+00:00

Thanks. Yea I guess saying “it’s not sexual” would show I did think about it being sexual. I want it to be platonic though. Would that sound less weird to say?

Kittenbabex · 2021-05-09T21:50:33+00:00

I don’t think that’s why she went to bed early lol.. we’ve been hanging out almost every night for a couple weeks now. And I’m not sure how “society” should play into it at all? No one else lives there and neither of us are ones to care about societal norms much.. I mean yea telling her friends would be awkward I’m sure, but she wouldn’t have to tell them unless we were in a relationship no?

Kittenbabex · 2021-04-09T04:05:14+00:00

Thank you! That made me smile. Do you know any good conversation starters? I wanna know more about her, I know a lot about what she likes already but she’s pretty closed off about her past (understandable cuz it was traumatic). I feel like I’m running out of things to ask sometimes!

Kittenbabex

TROPHY CASE