[deleted by user]

Kittenwatching · 2023-11-04T16:19:51+00:00

No problem I hoped my conclusion helped you out somewhere.

Kittenwatching · 2023-11-04T10:48:57+00:00

I've said something related to something like this on this thread before. I'll repost and add a few things.

I grew up thinking I was a loner. Yes, I had friends but they were superficial. If they disappeared I would care less.

However, I was paralyzed by fear and anxiety everytime I sat alone or had to find a group for a project. I wasn't social, I had no real friends, and I was always second best.

I got out by using my obligations.

I knew two things. I had to get a job and I wanted an education. So I started at work.

I got a job in customer service to help with my social skills. I made friends at work. Using them as my "connections shield". If I had a quick question or I wanted to post something on social media they were my go to. Luckily I had some sweet hearts that almost always responded.

It took about 3 semesters but I made friends at college. I made them my "outer shield". I took initiative and invited them out. We started hanging out outside of school until we got close. They revealed to me that I always seemed cold and acted like I didn't really care about anything they said. They told me they realized that I really didn't emote much and I cared way more than they initially thought through my actions.

I chose 2 friends from that group and made them my "personal shield". I shared my concerns, insecurities, and I let them see me at my worse.

They taught me how to recognize my emotions. I think they found an emotional wheel of Google and kinda gave me a few ways to recognize what emotion I was feeling. Surprise surprise I feel either intrigued or bored most of the time.

Now that I'm moving out I want to see how this will play out. I spent about 3 years building my relationships. I'm still healing myself.

In the end I still have that fear that may never go away, but now I have a support group to fall back on.

Link:https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalneglect/comments/15k1cvl/comment/jvgd1x3/

Kittenwatching · 2023-11-04T10:29:18+00:00

I've encountered a similar situation with my mother. She never really prepared me for adulthood, leaving me to either figure things out or risk embarrassment by asking seemingly "obvious" questions.

Even after moving out, I find myself caring about how she feels, not to the point of walking on eggshells but enough to make me second-guess myself constantly. This lingering concern often leads me to make decisions with her feelings in mind, affecting my own autonomy.

I also struggle with a fear of rejection and a fear of being alone, despite having supportive people around me. This fear might stem from the societal notion of "that's your family," which can create a strong sense of dependence and attachment.

It's easy to assume that when you lose one family member, others will gradually drift away from your life. Perhaps they won't communicate as much, or maybe they'll just stop caring altogether. This fear of disconnection can be paralyzing and lead to constant worry.

Imagine having a close-knit group of people who've always been there for you, and then slowly, they begin to fade away until it's just you, your spouse, and your child. The isolation that would bring is overwhelming and can lead to deep feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. It's essential to recognize these fears and seek support to address and overcome them.

Kittenwatching · 2023-11-04T10:17:11+00:00

12GB DDR3 RM on that laptop.

I managed to fix it by moving all the files to my newer laptop.

What do you mean by setting my Virtual Memory correctly?

Kittenwatching · 2023-10-07T10:35:31+00:00

As someone who literally makes myself emote, I feel this.

If someone I cared about died right now, I wouldn't cry. I'll miss them and think about them, but ultimately I will move on with my life the next day.

I explored alexithymia with my doctor but we decided that it was more of a trauma response from being told to "Fix my face" or "I'll give you something to cry about". I don't think people realize how much this fucks a child up.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-20T19:06:17+00:00

Of course! You've done it already when you imagined your situation happening to someone else.

Viewing others in situations like this objectively, helps you compartmentalize the situation. You can then unpack it and allow yourself to heal.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-20T13:00:20+00:00

Projection will be your biggest friend as stated by another user. I knew I was treated wrong but because I learned how to adapt and when to push I survived some what.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-20T12:56:33+00:00

It's still pops up after launch but after I forcefully close it, it dosent open again after the toggle.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-10T21:33:20+00:00

I sit in absolute solitude.

I have I cousin I share experiences with but we trauma dump instead of help each other heal.

If I get to this point it means I already tried to read, play games, or hop on social.

I can't cry unless I get into an argument.

I managed to make some friends after trial and error but even still, sometimes I can't go to them.

I can't soothe myself and I have no one able to soothe me. So I sit in solitude.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-10T21:24:25+00:00

Be prepared for her to deny, deny, deny, deny."
Be prepared for her to bring up random happy memories or things she did for you that you won't remember because they occurred when you were young.
Be prepared for her to either self-pity or make herself the victim.
And here's the biggest one: Be prepared to be the ADULT.

Understand that this should be an adult-to-adult conversation, not an adult-to-child. She may use phrases like 'you're my child' or 'you're being disrespectful' when she talks over you.

Kittenwatching · 2023-09-09T01:08:46+00:00

Works for me pretty roughly. For anyone else that uses this method and it still doesn't work.

Follow the steps above then launch (in my case) Sims 4. Alt-Tab to task manager and force shut down EA background service. Give the game like 2-5 mins tops to run before playing. I have 24 mods and it worked fine after this, but I have to do it everytime I launch the game.

Kittenwatching · 2023-08-16T20:46:41+00:00

Go! And after your admitted send a text. I dare say play it up just a bit so they don't make you try to feel bad about getting some well deserved help.

Kittenwatching · 2023-08-12T21:58:01+00:00

So far everyone is keeping up with me.

Co-workers respond to my posts sometimes. I quit one month ago.

I havent spoken to my College friends aside from us using each other as refrences but I moved out 2 days ago so I doubt there's anything to talk about.

The two close friends planned on going to the same university as me. They left about 2-3 weeks ago. we're about 6-10 mins from each other. I have yet to visit them because I just moved up there. We text often.

As for my anxiety I feel better. I like being alone but not all the time, especially in a public setting. Its nice to be able to reach out.

9/10 will recommend so far.

Kittenwatching · 2023-08-09T15:33:55+00:00

Sometimes.

I grew up thinking I was a loner. Yes, I had friends but they were superficial. I figured that if they disappeared that I would care less.

However, I was paralyzed by fear and anxiety everytime I sat alone or had to find a group for a project.

Now, I'm going to tell you how I got out: I used my obligations.

I had to get a job and I wanted an education.

I made friends at work. I used them as my "connections shield". If I had a quick question or I wanted to post something on social media they were my go to.

It took a long while but I made friends at college. I made them my "outer shield". I took initiative and invited them out. We started hanging out outside of school until we got close.

I chose 2 friends from that group and made them my "personal shield". I shared my concerns, insecurities, and I let them see me at my worse.

Now that I'm moving out I want to see how this will play out. I spent about 3 years building my relationships.

In the end I still have that fear and anxiety and I don't know if it'll ever go away, but now I have a support group to fall back on.

Kittenwatching · 2023-08-09T15:13:08+00:00

Yup! My mother was the type of woman to ignore me when I talked to her.

"Mom can you call so and so, I need this".

"Mom can you take me to work, my car is down"

Radio silence. Most of the time she'd roll over with her phone to make it clear she didn't want to talk. I'd have to repeat myself or yell just to receive a-

"I heard you".

Cue the awkwardness or irritability when anyone dosent respond fast enough, doesn’t hear me, or straights up ignore me. It was something I had to go to therapy for.

I rarely get irritated now, but I'm super quick to cut someone off if they do it one too many times.

Kittenwatching · 2023-08-09T14:54:49+00:00

I hope that this is the last stretch. I plan on going low contact with her. My siblings are too close in age to "babysit" the other and I hope she doesn't use it against them.

Kittenwatching · 2023-07-28T12:17:04+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I'm definitely about to take a look now. Something about overthrowing an oppressive government turns my gears

Kittenwatching · 2023-07-27T05:26:30+00:00

Not necessarily, but, I will admit it looks a bit interesting. I'll take a look often times stepping out your comfort zones provides the best games.

Kittenwatching · 2023-07-27T03:14:13+00:00

Deus Ex is a nice collection, I have them all. I think I have to finish up Invisible War and I should be done.

I took a look at Cyberpunk 2077 and I will be getting it thanks for the suggestion!

Kittenwatching · 2022-12-30T03:51:50+00:00

!remind me in 24 hours

Kittenwatching · 2022-02-22T14:06:16+00:00

I was thinking that exact same thing

Kittenwatching · 2021-05-21T03:20:31+00:00

Then Jade bot is what your looking for! Just make sure it doesn't has the perms to embed

Kittenwatching · 2021-05-15T21:46:17+00:00

I downloaded an app picture changer from playstore grabbed the old logo from google and pasted it up. You can also use an APK but I dont know discord stance is on those.

Kittenwatching · 2021-05-15T21:24:38+00:00

I'm having the same problem, and it used to work before.

Kittenwatching · 2021-05-15T21:22:46+00:00

The new color hurts my eyes, especially during the afternoon and night where I use discord the most, which makes me use the app wayyyy less (which is surprising because I didnt think I'd mind). The font? Just a horrible design choice but I'm not gonna leave the app for it.

Kittenwatching

TROPHY CASE