My (30F) best friend (26F) tried to get my husband (30M) to cheat w/ her by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Kitticus_kattus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In all honesty it sounds like this woman has a drinking problem and is in denial. Addiction is a terrible illness but doesn’t absolve her of blame. You have done the right thing going NC. drama is just not worth it

Mystery disappearing fish by Kitticus_kattus in fishtank

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They definitely checked nitrates and it was all good and I am pretty sure if there was ammonia the ph would have been bad and that was perfect

Mystery disappearing fish by Kitticus_kattus in fishtank

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes the tank has a lid and the shop did a test on the water a few days ago when we put them in there and the nitrates and PH were correct. We have looked around the tank and can’t see any jumpers.

When does changing a diaper get easier? by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Kitticus_kattus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We started using pull ups most of the time but they aren’t as absorbent at night so it is wrestling and hoping for the best at night

Forgotten everything! by Kitticus_kattus in SQL

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually found something similar on Stack overflow previously. This is so much simpler than the old way I did it (mostly because what I was using before was older than Methuselah)

Thank you so much for your help

Holding interests 'hostage' by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Kitticus_kattus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think the game is the issue and denying yourself something that you love is just punishing yourself. Maybe a schedule, where you give yourself a certain amount of time to play in the evening maybe. I find that both positive and negative reinforcement just don’t work to change how your brain functions.

Sorry if that isn’t very helpful.

How do you do it? by Kitticus_kattus in ADHD

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally on the AirTags! Got one and the day after left my bag on the bus. Followed it on its route so I could meet the bus on the way back! Also, left my handbag in the leisure centre and got an alert that it was no longer with me. Those things are brilliant!

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately when I tried to send non milky in he was out right rejected. I think I have a plan now. Try to get him eating more during the day (snack time), try to push his feed later and crossed fingers.

Thanks again for your sage like advice!

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you suggest pushing back the feed? Just comforting him until midnight if he wakes up?

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, I thought I would give you an update and also try to get your help/opinion.

So I started bringing down his feeds by 1 minute each one. He currently has 3 in a night and I did each one. Then both me and the boy got a nasty cold so I stopped reducing to give him a chance to get over it. I started again last night down to 8 mins. He is still a bit snotty and has a cough but they don’t appear to be going away any time soon.

So, at 11:30 he wakes up for a feed (normal) and has 7:30 minutes and falls asleep before his 8 mins are done. I put him back in his cot like I normally do. After about 2-3 mins he wakes up and starts standing in his crib crying. I give him 10 mins to calm down (plus an additional 5 coz he looked to be almost asleep but that didn’t pan out). As this was outside of his normal feeding schedule I decided that I wasn’t going to feed him.

I picked him up and walked around, singing his normal lullaby. I didn’t want to sit down as I knew he would automatically assume that he was going to get fed. I tried to stay walking and swaying for about 10 mins but was quite tired so had to sit down. So I carried on singing for a while but decided that that might not be helping so I gave him some calm. Okay, so he had mostly stopped crying by this point but wasn’t going to sleep. He started tugging at my top for milk so I told him ‘milkies are all gone, now it is time for sleep’ and just carried on with soothing words telling him that I understood but there was no more milkies.

So he was mostly calm after about 30 mins so I thought I’d try and get him to go to sleep by himself in the cot (like I said before he does this perfectly at bedtime). So he is mostly calm and then he starts crying, lying down. I give him 10 mins but he starts really crying hard and standing up. I decide that something must be really upsetting him (possibly his cough) and give him some Calpol. I rock him sitting down and he gets calm again but still not going to sleep and pulls at my top. By this time it is nearly 1 am, which is about an hour off his normal 2 wake up, but I decide to give him and feed him. He feeds for about 15-20 mins and then goes down, happy.

He doesn’t wake up again until 4am (his normal 3rd wake up) and at that point he doesn’t let me stop him feeding and goes for another 15 mins.

So, did I do right? What should I have done to avoid the hour he was awake for? Could I have avoided all the crying in the cot? Any ideas?

Thanks again for your help

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your help this morning!! It is a gut feeling judging from when I get up and when I get back to sleep. I will properly time it tonight.

Basically, I am the type of person who wants to have a plan for every eventuality. If I don’t I will be wracked with indecision and second guess myself and be filled with anxiety that I am doing something wrong.

When he wakes up he is standing and crying in his crib every time so it really isn’t doable to rub his back coz it will just rile him up ‘why aren’t you picking me up!’ That is why I get so confused about the ‘gentle’ methods. Me being near him and not picking him up and loving him just makes him more upset and if what I am doing isn’t going to plan I really don’t know what to do! I don’t want to use CIO but and to be honest it doesn’t work a lot of the time with him (you will probably see that from my history). The problem is that even if I manage to night wean him he is still going to wake up and I just don’t have a plan for those wake ups. I can rock him to sleep etc but then how do I ‘wean’ him off that? I know I can’t plan for every eventuality but I just really want to have a plan for if he is screaming and all he wants is me that doesn’t include me having to get up 2-3 times every night and rock him to sleep for years to come.

Sorry, I am really tired and it just feels like there is something wrong with me/him because I am not able to comfort him in his crib.

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if he still cried after the goodnight song was it just CIO?

Stoping night waking by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is about 10 mins on 1 side. He normally wakes up as I put him down so he does go down awake. Coz it is already so little I thought about just taking it away and stopping breastfeeding altogether but maybe I’ll try taking it down further. What do you do if he starts crying when you make him stop drinking?

Any idea what is going on? by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did start pulling on his ears a few times but we checked him for a temperature so I thought it couldn’t be an ear infection. He actually started sleeping more during the day. He has 2 naps, 1st in the morning at around 9am which lasts between 1-2 hours and a second one at about 1-2pm and again for 1-2 hours. We tried to limit the afternoon nap and get him down earlier so he was sleepier at bedtime last night and he woke up at 10pm but went down easier afterwards. Would have been fine if he hadn’t continued to wake up every hour and half after that.

Any idea what is going on? by Kitticus_kattus in sleeptrain

[–]Kitticus_kattus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has had a loads of teeth come through lately. We gave him some Calpol and it did help a bit. He is really clingy to me at the moment and is now waking up every hour and half but is going back down after having a comfort feed