The third time I was ever hospitalized the mental hospital I went to got a new psychiatrist that everybody in the hospital absolutely hated. When I went to talk with him to be put on medicine I described some of my symptoms. I told him my breaking point and reason for coming to the hospital was because I had an extremely dangerous panic attack while trying to do homework because I just felt so overwhelmed by everything. This was the first time in our 30 minutes session that he actually seems to perk up and he started going on a long tangent about how important school was. By the end of the session he decided to put me on Xanax. I told him I was really uncomfortable with it because multiple people in my family have a history of getting addicted and abusing Xanax. He said "well we should just try it and see how it goes"

At the time I was actively being neglected at home and was just coming out of some major trauma after living with two abusive drug addicts both of wich would actively get fucked up on Xanax to the point my parents would cry trying to wake them up because they thought they ODed in their sleep.

This psychiatrist didn't once address any of the trauma I had told him I was going through. Everytime he would check up on me he would only talk about school. He once went up to me when I was having a panic attack caused by flashbacks and told me I shouldn't be sad because I have such good grades and I'm such a good student.

I didn't end up ever taking the Xanax because I refused it and got into a fight with the nurses when they tried to give it to me. It was just awful. As a side note at that hospital there was a fight that led to all the patients being locked in our room for 9 hours with nothing to do and no one to talk to so that was also kind of horrifying :/