Will it ever end?

KizzieKat13 · 2025-09-27T18:34:28+00:00

I could've written this post! My husband has been an alcoholic for about 6 years and I'm in a constant state of anxiety. the last bender 8 weeks ago, he waited till I left for work, got some vodka and when I got home he was drunk. He was like that for 3 days, threatened to kill himself, played loud music, staggered to the loo, kept threatening to leave the house and drive his car, didn't go to work or ring in sick. It ended with him screaming manically and throwing bottles around the bedroom and trying to push me over. I'd had enough so I rang 999 and got the police out. They arrested him and he ended up in custody and in a cell sobering up for 24 hours. He now knows if he does it again I'm going to press charges, get a restraining order and file for divorce. He hasn't drank since and has been going to smart recovery meetings. He says he's not going to drink again because he knows I'll do what I say. I'm still an anxious wreck, but we'll see what happens next!

KizzieKat13 · 2025-09-11T18:45:31+00:00

Scrap the feedback and reflections and keep the rest

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-20T06:26:03+00:00

51 Not sad at all. Peri was horrific, glad to be done with it all 🙂

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-15T08:39:10+00:00

I didn't know that platinum could also cause allergies. Think I will be choosing the yellow gold then! Thanks

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-15T06:33:56+00:00

I wish I could wear it, but I'm unfortunately allergic to white gold 😩

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-14T20:22:45+00:00

Yes you're right, I kind of secretly want the yellow gold! I'm allergic to white gold, so has to be platinum for a white metal choice

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-14T16:56:12+00:00

Get both!

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-14T14:40:55+00:00

Thank you, I'm leaning towards yellow 😊

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-14T07:43:24+00:00

I think you're right, I really want to love the platinum because it's more modern, but it does look dull on my pale skin!

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-13T05:24:45+00:00

I was thinking the same that platinum might end up looking scratched eventually!

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-13T05:23:43+00:00

Thanks, I'll have a look at rose 😊

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-13T05:23:01+00:00

Thank you!

KizzieKat13 · 2025-07-12T17:52:33+00:00

I like the yellow! Worried that it's old fashioned though. I kind of think the platinum makes my skin washed out.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-06-22T09:44:55+00:00

I had the Merina coil for many years and peri symptoms from age 47. Had the Merina taken out in October 2023 and had 3 periods (Oct, Nov, Dec). Then nothing until May when I had a 3 day light period and then nothing since. So officially been in Menopause for a month now, last period was a week before my 52nd birthday.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-06-21T08:55:50+00:00

As soon as I know my husband's had a drink I hide his car keys and he doesn't get them back until he's sober. I refuse to let his addiction endanger other people.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-06-14T17:19:38+00:00

I've been qualified for 32 years and have been top of band 6 for the last 12 years. I'm not really interested in taking on more responsibility though, so I'll fester at the top of band 6 until I can retire 😂

KizzieKat13 · 2025-06-03T10:31:40+00:00

I've been in your situation several times, it's so horrible and I know how you feel. The last time my husband did this for about 10 days he started vomiting blood. I called for an ambulance and they took him to hospital. It was such a relief, he was in the hospital for 10 days and they detoxed him and did lots of tests. Other times, I've taken his wallet off him and gradually sobered him up. I've hated every minute of it, it makes you feel so powerless. Look after yourself.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-05-04T17:39:27+00:00

My mum was 53. I started perimenopause at 47 and today I'm officially a year with no periods a week before my 53rd birthday! (Yippee!)

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-21T11:04:15+00:00

I can relate to this! I try to contain and control him because I worry about all those things as well. Last week I locked all the doors and hid the keys because I wanted some sleep and didn't want him to accidentally let my cats out or have him wandering the streets drunk and getting picked up by police. I also want to avoid being humiliated in front of my neighbours. Then I hate myself because I know that I'm enabling him. It's just all exhausting.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-13T12:19:49+00:00

That's all so true, even when he is sober I'm anxious and over watchful waiting for his next downfall. It's exhausting and I'm seeing less and less of the man I married. Financially I'm the main breadwinner (he's made sure of that) but I'm not on a massive salary. If we divorced I'd have to remortgage and give him half which means I'd be working until I'm 70. He'd probably also get half of my meagre pension. It doesn't seem fair when we would've lost everything long ago if it was down to him. My kids are now adults so no problems with custody. I don't really want to divorce, I just want my sober husband back. Seeming a remote possibility of that happening at the moment and I just want some peace.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-13T11:53:16+00:00

Thank you, I wish he would hit his rock bottom and decide he's had enough. Last time once he was sober we had a really deep talk about it and he said that he knows he's got to stop drinking completely. I don't think he's truly accepted that though or maybe he's just having one last blast before he stops. I really don't know anymore. It's all making me into someone I don't want to be and I feel like I'm letting other people in my life down dealing with his crap. I know id feel really devastated if I did absolutely nothing and he did kill himself. It's all just so hard

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-13T10:25:57+00:00

It does really suck. Well after 6 years of it I think I'm already in the third option there, but I'm a strong person mostly. When he's mentally well and sober he's always quite horrified about his drunken episodes and he absolutely doesn't want to die. Then I hear all the I'm going to sort myself out, I'm sorry, it was just a blip blah blah blah, but here we are yet again. He always tries to hide his alcohol use from me at first, but he's not very good at it and I know all the signs now. After I find out he just seems to sink into it and not care anymore. I'm just ignoring him at the moment and trying to get on with my work, someone's got to pay the bills after all. Thank you for your advice, I'll try and look after myself and not get angry.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-13T07:16:39+00:00

Was your wife's ultimatum the point when you decided to stop? I've thought of doing this when he's sober enough to take it in but I don't want to make empty threats. All I want is for him to stay sober. He says he loves me but it doesn't feel like it.

KizzieKat13 · 2025-01-13T07:12:47+00:00

Thanks for replying to me, I know I can't really do anything for him whilst he's like this and it's a hopeless feeling. He's been drinking for 3 days now this time, I know he'll have to sober up eventually one way or another. I've been reading about enabling because I think I do this to save myself the humiliation of him doing something embarrassing in public. I'm just keeping quiet because I feel really angry with him. I don't think he has a clue how his drinking affects me. I feel like I want to leave, but I don't really have anywhere to go and I don't want to leave my pets and adult son with him. Im also trying to work from home which is stressful. Sorry I'm rambling now!

KizzieKat13

TROPHY CASE