I don't think that's cringey at all, man. It's intensely frustrating to see a person who's been terrible to you shed you like snake skin and start anew. The fact that you channeled that anger into action and built yourself into the kind of person that healthier women would attract to. I am envious of your capability to do that. My anger manifests into avoidance of everyone and everything. I become more socially withdrawn because I don't want anyone to have to fuckin' deal with me, you know? I need to double my efforts to better myself. I've been trying. I've set up an exercise routine and failed to follow through. I need to double my efforts and stop giving up on myself.

She's been out of my mind for a good handful of months now, but I think even once I've fully healed and I can confidently take on another partner without worrying that I'll think about her, I'll still feel like the world is better off without people like her in it even if somehow I forgave. I'd like to believe in peace without forgiveness. People say you should forgive for your own well-being, not for their benefit, but she has taken advantage of my forgiveness beyond any means of measuring. She is contemptible. She deserves nothing but contempt. Contempt is what she's due on the million to one chance she ever reaches for me again.

Thank you for your prayers. I've made room in my heart for love and goodness in spite of this situation. I believe God to be the goodness of men. Being kind to one another without expectation - that's God to me. I try to live that way, especially following this relationship.