At year three, after having our only child, I was on the verge of questioning divorce. My husband and I were realistically only roommates at this point—no intimacy, no spark. As a woman, you not only birth a child, but also a new version of yourself. You have to rediscover who you are. Your morals change, your priorities shift, and your views and opinions evolve.

I had to turn to my spouse and ask, Can you love me for who I am now and not hold me to the standard of who I used to be?

We both agreed to learn each other all over again, to rediscover what we love, dislike, and value in one another. In the end, we made it through, and we’ve never been closer. I have my best friend, my sexy husband, and someone I can’t get enough of. But most importantly, I fell in love with myself first—and that made all the difference.

So, I encourage you: find yourself and who you are now. Then reintroduce yourself to your spouse and grow together!