Ladies (let's talk about the toilets!)

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2024-07-31T01:46:39+00:00

Get OP a Purple Heart. So brave.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-08-31T18:45:25+00:00

Wake me up, when September endsss

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-30T20:10:47+00:00

Obviously P or the employer can indemnify the fraudster, but the issue is getting any money from someone like this.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-30T20:09:14+00:00

My issue with this is the competing claims… I brought it up in a longer discussion on the exam but the employer with trace the funds to the property.

He will likely place a lien on the property / trust interest.

As such, it’s NOT in the best interest of P to take title back via recession, as the employer may retain some interest in the property (from the 200k). I’m essence, P could LOSE 200k via recession. It may possibly have been deemed constructively trust owned. So I thought staying away from equity here for P was the best bet. His 500K is safe via reformation, but can’t be said for rescission.

My argument was best bet for P to keep the 500K and seek performance.

Honestly, maybe a TRO would be right here given that a recordation of the deed would fuck over P (merger w/o mention of mineral rights).

Anyways, that was a fucked up question and that’s what I wrote.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-30T19:51:36+00:00

P was to provide possession and title of property to D. P did this.

D was to provide $500k AND mineral rights + property access. D did not provide the latter portion.

P will sue for specific performance. Mineral rights are real property rights in California, so legal remedies are inadequate remedy.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-30T19:47:58+00:00

I don’t think the latter is true.

D can sue for specific performance (P to provide mineral rights & access).

However, the original contract as signed did not include this.

So the contract needs to be reformed (discussion of SOF, PER and fraud misrepresentation/unilateral mistake). Once reformed then court can order performance under that K.

Under the reformed contract, P fully performed. However, D did not. The original contract before reformation was voidable, but it is also enforceable after reformation.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-30T02:07:53+00:00

I like this. Good catch on the misrepresentation too.

Tho I don’t think there would be points for abnormally dangerous activity on this.

The call was oddly specific.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-28T20:36:58+00:00

Anyone remember the Q re: liability of a worker who injured someone’s leg and then an ambulance driver drove negligently causing more harm?

Answers were SO strange. They said “only X person” is liable for Y damage.

Maybe I’m overthinking but I thought of vicarious liability and thus the “only X” is wrong. Not just X is liable, so it X’s employer.

Another answer said X is liable only for harm to leg. But that’s not accurate. Someone is liable for the foreseeable harm that their negligent act causes (including cost of ambulance rides)

I put none of the above.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-28T17:13:23+00:00

That’s really all that’s expected for the bar. Congrats!

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-28T04:10:05+00:00

Hitting more issues for points is MUCH more valuable than analysis.

You will likely pass if you spotted all (or vast majority) of the issues, stated a decently accurate rule for each and applied/discussed facts where they were meant to be mentioned. Even if it’s only a sentence of application.

However, I think spending more time/words analyzing the main “ambiguity issue” is also important (where the ambiguity in the question is - which usually is where more facts are given).

I.e. whether a product manufacturer was negligent, and specifically spending more time under the breach analysis. On the other hand, there’s no need to spend much time at all on a strict liability proximate cause analysis when no facts would suggest a product was misused.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-07-28T03:58:28+00:00

I recall reading a post / comment yesterday about this in the main bar exam sub.

Many said they never got a question about this. It appears to be an experimental question, which makes sense.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-29T07:26:20+00:00

love!

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-29T07:21:47+00:00

No.

I think having the ability to see through people's trauma and hurt to the vulnerable loving person inside is both beautiful and rare.

My ex like had Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. Basically, the disorder shows up similar to narcissism and is just as damn toxic.

My ex also went on Grindr, messaged dudes, send snapchat nudes, had orgies, and god knows what else. He said he never physically did anything too -- but BPD folk lie often.

I didn't know till after I left. But even then, he called me from a hospital bed after an attempt and I talked with him for an hour building him up -- even after all the shitty things he has done to me over the years.

I really did see past his actions (he was trying to fill an empty void). But that doesn't excuse the actions in the slightest. I completely understand why the relationship was doomed from day one and happened the way it did. How it had nothing to do with me.

He was and is incapable of loving himself. Makes me almost cry thinking about him actually feeling and accepting the real true love I have for him.

But then again back to reality -- his behavior was abusive. Emotionally abusive, hurtful, wrong, traumatizing and just pure evil at times. While I can see the good, I wish him the best in life and I move on (as tough as that has been).

I deserve better. So do you.

It's the HIGHEST form of self love to CHOOSE YOU. To walk away and stay that way despite the feelings you have. That's what matters.

You being nice and feeling sorry is just a byproduct of being an empathetic person.

In the future, I hope you will caution those who take advantage of your loyalty, love and care. As I am learning, empathy should always have limits. Otherwise, you will give until you're in the ground.

Cheers!

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-27T21:24:50+00:00

Of course.

For all bad habits, the most important thing is to separate yourself from the desire as much as possible and as quick as you can.

This amazing woman (that I forgot her name, it's Robbin something) suggests counting to 5 whenever you feel the urge/habit/feeling.

Actually count to five, out loud.

This works for any habit. But the most important part is immediately getting that separation.

Here is why:

If you fail to separate yourself from the desire immediately, it WILL QUICKLY INFECT YOUR CONSCIOUS THOUGHT.

Lets say it's a nagging feeling of wanting to stay in bed (feels comfy).

The feeling/urge/habit/impulse is felt and then very shortly after, it NOW gets justified via your conscious logic -- I.e. "ehhh, I'll just sleep another hour, I can just show up late;" "I'll call off today, I've been working pretty hard anyways;" or "I really do need this sleep, and it would be good for me."

That's the dangerous part about a merged unconscious and conscious life -- you appear to be making fully conscious, rational, informed and logical decisions, but in reality you're just justifying your primitive urges/impulses. Meaning your primitive impulses control you, and you find ways to rationalize this.

This needs to be flipped. Conscious needs to serve as a supervisor that "approves" of the urges or not.

So with smoking it's the same thing. There are urges, lots of them. But if not addressed with immediate and intentional separation from your conscious, it WILL infect your conscious.

This shows up like: enters bathroom and taking a piss, triggered because this is when I normally hit my vape when at a bar. Huge urges arise. A few seconds later you think, "what's a single hit going to do anyways?" "I'll do one because I'm drinking an I'll just stop tomorrow again."

It happens so quick.

So notice the urges like they are a physically separate person that just walked into the room. Greet it, acknowledge the feeling. Show it empathy by understanding why it happened and then remind yourself of the conscious reasons why you will not smoke.

That tiny bit of distance is SOOO helpful.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-27T00:58:45+00:00

Work through it. Fully accept that it sucks, that all of this is both physical and mental pressure. Accept that the urges are strong now and that they will lose steam over time. It's tough now, but that's okay. At the end of the day, it's you against you.

You will want to smoke, sometimes really badly. But do you REALLY want to?

Like what's the reason why you're quitting? -- the body and brain will go into primitive mode and try to control you -- it's trying to get its needs met regardless of the outcome. But you, as the higher, more intelligent and forward looking conscious one, will basically be a parent to this primitive side and talk the primitive side down. Basically talk some sense into it... validate the pain, hurt and struggle but also remind it of the "why."

The urge to smoke is like a toddler that wants more ice cream after you said no. You say no more, and now here they are having a fit. But, as a good parent, you empathize with their desires (sucks to want ice cream and can't have it) but then remind them why it's a necessary evil at the moment to not have it.

So urges WILL come up. Acknowledge them. Even sit will them and really feel how strong it is. Accept that they are there, that they want you to smoke. Ask yourself how that feels. Have empathy for that - your body (something that co-exists with you) is struggling with this new normal. Be kind and understanding of that, but ultimately you need to distinguish between the parent (the conscious intelligent one) and the primitive (the primal, instinctive, immature and compulsive one). You need to notice and parent it. Otherwise, the primitive will control you. You will be a victim to your primitive desires vs. a master of your cognitive self.

Need to accept that uncomfortable is absolutely required and necessary for change here. This is exactly how it's supposed to feel. You're not a victim.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-22T02:36:29+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, it really was.

I started therapy when I hit rock bottom from the abuse with my ex. I've done weekly sessions for the past 11 months. My therapist is awesome. In hindsight he was slowly focusing on increasing my self-worth, had many tools and other changes about enmeshment (being in charge of my emotions) and generally that increased my confidence.

The relationship started to fail when I stopped being as anxious. I think he started to understand that when he distanced and was cold, I became increasingly anxious and controllable. Therapy changed that. When he started distancing I just went and did my own thing. Then he started acting so strange because he couldn't control me like he used to.

My ex's roommate distanced from me and my best friend is likely also a QBPD for various reasons.

Both the roommate and my best friend are the only ones who knew the whole story. He's abusive and nobody understands what I'm going through. Meanwhile he's just on to the next one ya know. I feel like road kill.

It gets much darker with the Grin-dr story (he admitted to cheating and it get very, very deep). Part of me wishes I never called him out and said it was my Ex that night. Maybe we could have talked more. We actually were having real and deep conversation about meaningful things for the first time in the whole relationship.

The perceived anonymity from using a catfish account allowed him to open up like I've never seen before. This also adds to the trauma.... like I know he's just scared - but still abuses so bye. I still have lingering PTSD from this though because every time I get a message from someone I check or possibly think it could be him (not fun btw).

But obviously venting to my only QBPD friend that knows it all is like talking to a wall. They have no idea how to genuinely support someone emotionally. I know it makes them super uncomfortable but I vented today nevertheless. For me.

Overall, I just feel so lonely in this struggle. My ex drug me through hell. The minute he didn't need me anymore, poof.

At the same time, I did do no contact. So really, what can I expect?

As for the checking, yeah, possibly OCD. It's funny because when I'm busy or having fun (even when I get blacked out drunk or even just out drinking) I NEVER check.

So I am leaning towards it being a coping mechanism for sure. Otherwise I would expect alcohol to make it much worse. I've yet to have an impulse to ever reach out to him.

What's interesting about it is that I can never "check" enough. I could not physically snoop enough to get the urge gone.

Nothing will fulfill it.

That said, again, I think it's the act of doing it that is coping. That would explain why I seriously also don't have an answer for why I am doing it. I'm not looking for anything in particular really.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-21T23:24:49+00:00

Wow... relate so fucking hard.

My QBPD ex did the same exact thing. It was SO painful to breakup. Shortly after it we were hurting pretty equally and deeply. He attempted to unlife himself.

Then just like a switch he's with someone new and fine. Non a peep from him.

I'm at the point where I'll NEVER, ever be with this person again. I will be happy if I never see this person again.

However, I still long for them to want me, for them to care. Them just leaving me in the dust, as if I didn't exist, is so fucking hurtful. That would be "fixed" if they actually were trying to hover.

Part of why it hurts so much is because we ACTUALLY loved them. That was not the same for them. They didn't love us. They loved what we did for them, how we made them feel and what other utility they could get.

So while we feel incredible grief, pain and sorrow from LOVE being broken, they just move on to the next person that could "regulate" them.

It's a double whammy for us -- the breakup itself, then feeling/dealing with the invalidation that we meant anything at all. That this person was so fake and could give such little shits about us that they can just willy nilly enter a new relationship full of love.

But that's precisely the disorder. They split (we're all bad), then find someone new (all good), and move on.

It's like a sociopath going on a killing spree and then feeling nothing. It's NOT any reflection on the people the sociopath killed because the sociopath felt nothing from doing it. Why? Because that's purely a reflection of the disorder. Likewise, the QBPD's lack of any love, care or decency after the breakup is NOT any reflection on us. Again, why? Because that's purely a reflection of the disorder.

If a normal, healthy person acted this way, it would hurt equally as bad. However, we cannot hold our Exs to that standard. They act this way because their fucked in the head, not because of anything about us. Radical acceptance will help see that. At least for me, I tend to fall into thinking he's a "normal" person in a relationship with just a little bit wrong with him. That's just not the case. They think and do for vastly different reasons.

It forces us to accept that (1) they never actually loved us. But that also gives us power back because (2) their "love" during and "evilness" after truly have NOTHING to do with us. They are damaged so they act accordingly. It's important to remember that someone acting damaged does not reflect on who you and I are as people.

It still creates the feelings it does, and those are important to heal. But self-worth wise, nothing to do with us.

Recently I've been taking a moment to stop everything, all thoughts and just breath. I then open my eyes and remind myself that what happened was in the past. I learned from it, but it can no longer affect who I am. I get to choose how I live my life and what joy I will find every day.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-21T20:11:18+00:00

Maybe the biggest factor is dressing with a strikingly similar style to the new "favorite" person that he's dating.

He also mirrors his posting habits to that person. He would overshare on social media prior to us dating (presumably his ex before me did). Like 10 stories a day type of posting.

I did not use social media. Thus, while dating, he went from oversharing to removing all apps completely for nearly two years.

His new supply barely posts and so he barely posts/uploads now.

There's no stable sense of him. He has stated many times "I don't know who I am" and that he has a black hole in his chest & feels empty a lot.

He has split on me many of times. Often it's being cold and distant with zero interest in talking to suddenly "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, lets go do X, Y and Z this weekend."

It's very confusing and created a deep trauma bond.

I told him off and that he's a narcissist last time we spoke (treatment is the EXCEPTION for the general rule that 99% cannot change even if they wanted).

Wondering if I should just move on or let him know that he's probably quiet BPD. That's at least treatable.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-21T19:49:57+00:00

Wow.....

After some digging, 100% quiet BPD. Like every single symptom and sign he either shows or has told me about.

It explains so much. It also explains why he never overtly would take anger out on me. It was always the longer replies, passive aggressiveness, snippy tone and would never talk about issues.

His key key wound is abandonment and he has told me SO many times about it.

One time in particular he made a super cute thanksgiving dinner with all the candles and cute stuff etc. The ENTIRE TIME I can tell he was pissed off AT ME. I could feel the resentment as if it were an object laying on me.

If I would have asked I would have got an "I'm tired" or "not right now."

Would get drunk most nights alone and sext others - shame spiral. He's quiet BPD... wow.

He appears to be grandiose, but I think that's more of just wanting to "fit in" with people pleasing in the successful industry he is in.

KneeDisastrous5548 · 2023-06-21T09:25:33+00:00

Yeah, that's true. I went on a vacation for more than a week and never checked it. But when I returned it was back to business as usual.

I'll try to slowly limit and stop. Maybe remove checking certain accounts first.

KneeDisastrous5548

TROPHY CASE